Soooo N's friend is still downstairs

[conuly]

And last week they borrowed my salt because I guess theirs is locked up with everything else, which would be fine except nobody told me or brought it back. And I told all the kids "yo, don't do that again", except a few days later they did and I screamed for a while until I got my salt back.

And Eva had the gall to tell me I was overreacting, so I told her a story:

Once upon a time there was a king who had three daughters, let's call them Regan, Goneril, and Cordelia. Anyway, one day he decided to divvy up his kingdom between them, and before he did he decided to test their love, because he's a terrible father. But his children had no basis of comparison, so they never figured out he was emotionally abusive, and so they loved him, more or less. And first he asked Regan "How much do you love me?" and she said she loved him more than gold and silver, and Cordelia was like "Wow, my sister is totally full of it", but he was completely taken in and he gave Regan a nice bit of land. And then he asked Goneril "How much do you love me?" and Goneril said she loved him more than gold and silver AND PRECIOUS GEMS SO THERE, and Cordelia was like "Wow, my sister is SO FULL OF IT", but her dad was a bit of a dim bulb really and didn't really care about the sincerity of the praise he received and he also gave Goneril a nice bit of land. But he was holding the nicest bit of land back because he really liked Cordelia. And then he asked Cordelia, and she said "Um, I love you as much as I love salt" and he says "Seriously, that's what you're going with?" and she says "Yup, I love you like I love salt" and so he kicked her out without giving her a chance to pack her bags. Luckily, back then kingdoms were really small, like they're all the size of Monaco or Luxembourg or something, so she was able to get to a new castle just a short walk away and fall in love with and marry the prince. I mean, first she had to work in the kitchen and bump into him a few times, standard fairy tale stuff, but whatever. Anyway, they got married, as I said, and they invited all the local royals to the wedding. Including her dad, who didn't know it was her. I don't know, maybe the invitations said "You're invited to the marriage of Prince Charming and his MYSTERY BRIDE". And since she had worked in the kitchen or whatever she was still on great terms with the cook, so it was easy for her to arrange that his meal didn't have any salt in it. And when he tasted it he cried, because it was completely inedible and now he know how much his daughter had loved him. And lo and behold she showed up and instead of going "Are those tears salty enough for you NOW, Dad?" she just said she still loved him, so they reconciled and she got her plot of land and all. Plus she was married before her sisters and I bet she never let them forget it. And the moral of this story is if I lose my salt again I will absolutely lose my shit. I need salt in my kitchen. THE END.

But when I went to the store I just bought them their own salt because this is ridiculous and it doesn't even cost that much.

*******

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Comments

[wpadmirer]

Yep, your salt story is true!

[conuly]

The pain was real.

[hudebnik]

HTML quibble: the Alaska bail story got merged with the "What not to wear" story, so there's no link to the latter.

[conuly]

Fixed

[dragovianknight]

Mentally, I just replaced the missing "What not to wear" story with Edna Mode going, "NO CAPES!"

[conuly]

LMAO.

[siderea]

Didn't we all? :D

[moem]

How’s Your Soldering Technique?

Soldering is easy.

[conuly]

Thanks.

[colls]

♥ your retelling of the salt - it greatly amused me. Particularly the ending (I just bought them their own salt because this is ridiculous)
LOL

[conuly]

Well, it's cheap enough for my peace of mind.

[thewayne]

Salt is something I have aplenty. Kosher, regular Morton's iodized, fleur de sel, Himalayan, smoked. If someone wanted to borrow some, I'd probably just pour a couple of ounces of the straight plain iodized Morton's in a ziplock snack bag. I certainly wouldn't give them the good stuff. And I only use that stuff for brines and gargling when needed. NEVER for cooking.

[conuly]

I would've done that before except I didn't have any baggies, so.

[bibliofile]

I like Morton's for eating because it is iodized, which is important. Sea salt, not so much. (Using both is an option!)

(I also have non-iodized Morton's for crafty purposes.)

[conuly]

I mostly use non-iodized salt, and get my iodine from other sources. (Seaweed ftw! But also, in most places, potatoes!)

[wendelah1]

I loved the article about geriatric ER nursing.

Nurses are awesome.

[siderea]

The geriatric ER nursing is great, and more broadly the movement toward geriatric ERs discussed in that article is marvelous.

But there were things about that article which were a bit head-desky. Like, "Wittwer's care is part of a new approach to older patients as U.S. emergency rooms adapt to serve the complex needs of a graying population." Sure, it's not like we used to have old people before aging was invented in 1997. Totally understandable how we hadn't actually accommodated the medical needs of the elderly until now, when the first people are living past their sixties. *rolls eyes*

And then there's the whole thing about the facilities meeting the special needs of the elderly for quiet, non-claustrophobic spaces, non-bruising gurneys, and attentive medical care that includes thorough and realistic post-discharge planning and service set up – but they are not the only patient population to need those things. Quiet is important for all people with hearing impairments less than total, and often important for the psychiatrically unwell (whether or not they are presenting for psychiatric emergencies) and for children and violence survivors, e.g. And so on.

A hundred and fifty or so years ago, it was believed the physical plant of a medical facility – its architecture and decor – could be condusive to healing, to calmness and recouperation, and had to be designed and built with that in mind. We stopped doing that because it was expensive, and, collectively as culture, in a fit of sour grapes, we told ourselves that stuff didn't matter and was all touchy-feely unscientific nonsense and then forgot it entirely.

But it was right. It has always been right.

We're finally coming to realize we can't afford not to pay attention to those things.

[archangelbeth]

*adds "Autistics" to the list of People Who Need QUIET Areas*

It is really, really annoying, how many places have these wide-open, noisy spaces that are sensory H***. I'm starting to wonder if lack of niches and nooks should be an ADA violation.
-_-

[conuly]

We're finally coming to realize we can't afford not to pay attention to those things.

Hear, hear.

[naye]

Sorry about the salt annoyance, but that is a GREAT story.

[conuly]

I do try.

[agoodwinsmith]

I like your retelling of Lear very much. :)

[conuly]

It's mostly a retelling of As Meat Loves Salt, I just used Lear's daughter's names.

[greghousesgf]

even when I weighed over 100 lbs. more than what I do now I didn't put salt in my cooking, I use garlic and herbs and spices. The only thing I ever put salt in is pasta water.
I think Airplane is a hilarious movie but for YEARS I thought Julie Hagerty's terrible acting was done on purpose as a joke. Then I saw her in another movie that wasn't a comedy.
There's a reason you always read about Victorian women fainting a lot. Look at corsets.

[conuly]

You'll pry my salt out of my cold, dead hands.

[greghousesgf]

I don't want it. anyway, nobody ever complained about my cooking.

[siderea]

*Applauds*

[randomdreams]

fwiw I greatly prefer your version of that story over William's.

[peristaltor]

I just finished Upton Sinclair's Between Two Worlds, a fictionalized novel featuring lots of real-life characters. Before reading, I had never heard of Isadora Duncan. Since finishing, I have encountered two separate references to her death (including your linked article).

Weird.

[silailo]

I don't know Indian culture(s) that well, but are men expected to abstain from sex before marriage? I was confused when the husband pretty much threw his wife under the bus, because I took it that maybe he was trying to save his own skin. But he still went through with the wedding knowing full well she wasn't a virgin??? Did he or did he not want to marry her? He didn't think to fake the bleeding?

[conuly]

Yeah, I have no idea wtf was up with him. She's better off without that loser, even if her life is harder.

[dodger_sister]

Best retelling of King Lear ever! Also it was really nice of you to go buy them some salt. (I put salt on everything, it drives my sister up the wall!)

[conuly]

As I said, salt's not too pricey.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

So, still there, eh? I presume you knew they probably would be, but were sand-bagged by noblesse oblige: hey, it happens. It was nice of you to buy them their own salt. How long till they get their own place?

It's always a hard lesson to make stick: that nothing in the house actually belongs to children except what they've been personally given, or bought for themselves. They have the use of the household goods and sundries, but they don't actually own them - nor is there anything in the household that isn't owned by the person who bought or was given it. Just because they're allowed to use the stuff in the kitchen doesn't mean it's theirs to take, let alone to give away.

Salt is good stuff, sure; everybody loves it, and you certainly can't do without it in your kitchen. But that's really neither here nor there; the principle would be the same if what Eva kiped without asking had been some less-frequently-used item, that would take you longer to discover was missing.

"Eva had the gall to tell me I was overreacting"

Yeah? Take something of hers without asking - something she uses all the time - and lend it to someone who doesn't give it back; see how she reacts when she reaches for it and finds it gone.

[conuly]

They're supposed to move out within the week. They have the key, they're just waiting on the last bit of paperwork.

Thankfully, the main concern was that the first floor has no bathroom (that's one reason we don't rent it out) and it's turned out that bathroom sharing is not such a huge issue, so... okay.

And I had no problem with them using my salt! I just would've decanted some into a jar instead of giving up my entire box, lol!

Yeah? Take something of hers without asking - something she uses all the time - and lend it to someone who doesn't give it back; see how she reacts when she reaches for it and finds it gone.

No, I'm taking the high road. Besides, I think being screamed at for 30 minutes and change is more than punishment enough.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

"I think being screamed at for 30 minutes and change is more than punishment enough."

Mrowr? Maybe Eva's not wrong about 'over-reacting' after all - although I surmise that most of that screaming may have been less due to the salt-kiping itself, and more to the amount of lip you got in response to your objections.

Sheesh, teenage girls. So odd to think it's been almost ten years since I lived with one - in 2008 my daughter graduated from high school and moved out two days later to go do an internship, ka-wham! Just like that, the nest was empty; in a couple of months I'd moved too; by now it seems strange to recall how much my life once revolved around her life, needs, wants, moods and transgressions (such as kiping my stuff.) 'In the service of the Princess' - ha! I haven't forgotten the frustration that sometimes engendered. You've got two Princesses to cope with, so... my sympathies!

"But you know what girls are, ma'am! Nasty little hussies, that's what I call 'em!"
~Mr. Toad

.... fortunately, they grow up to be women. ^^

[conuly]

Yeah, it's weird. Hospital visits don't faze me, cops swarming all over my block are no big deal, terrorism and disastrously bad weather is a yawn... but not being able to find what I need to cook is srs bsns.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Makes perfect sense to me. Hospital visits, cops, terrorism, weather, and all the other 'alarums and excursions' of life are just shit-that-happens. Shit happens to everyone, and no one can predict it or control it, only try to be prepared to respond to whatever may be coming next.

Well, so, a crucial part of anybody's preparedness to respond is securing the food supply. That's your job; the kitchen is your domain; it's not okay for other members of the household to thoughtlessly create disorder in your system. Life is full of uncertainty enough, without having to wonder whether the salt will be where you put it when you need it.

[bibliofile]

Best salt stories, literally and literately?

Also, yay! Salt for everyone, in the end.