*eyeroll*

[conuly]

Due to an unfortunate incident with the sink's hose and some cups of water today... *coughs*

I skipped out on work and let 'dul watch his own kids. Hey, he started it!

Which meant that I caught the 1:01 bus this afternoon, right on time for this brilliant guy to show up....

This Brilliant Guy: Hey, how are you?
Me: (in the middle of a book)
TBG: How are you?
Me: Oh... do I know you?
TBG: *appears to be attempting to leer* No... but I'd sure like to.
Me: Yeah... I'm kinda busy.
TBG: Your breasts are really big.

Now, you're wondering, Gentle Readers, if this exchange actually occured. Lo, I kiddeth you not - he actually said this!

Me: What? This is what you say to somebody you don't know?
TBG: ...uh...
Me: That's pathetic. You need to try harder. Seriously.
TBG: Well, how 'bout we -
Me: Ohlookthebusishere!
TBG: But we
Me: BUS!
TBG: Bye.

Seriously. My breasts are big? Like I haven't noticed that somehow? Maybe the realization that my breasts are big will cause me to fall all over him in an orgasm of big-breasted-love?

Yeah. My breasts are big. And he had an ugly cap on. And that had to be the worst line I have ever heard. EVER. I thought your average guy grew out of such inanities before their voices broke, but I guess I was mistaken.

Comments

[kynn.livejournal.com]

TBG: Your breasts are really big.

I hate guys.

Sometimes it works...

[the-cynic.livejournal.com]

I had a friend in college who didn't bother with lines. He would go up to every girl he met and say "Hey, wanna f***?". He claims it worked one time in every ten.

Guys never outgrow inanities. Just try telling a fart joke to even your grandfather and watch them laugh.

[conuly]

I limit myself to pitying those who feel they have to stoop to personal comments. Bet they don't get laid much.

Hatred - it's such a nonproductive emotion. I could hate them, but it would take a lot of energy, with very little in the way of results. Better to save my energy for things I can do something about.

Re: Sometimes it works...

[conuly]

Y'know what? I find "Hey, wanna fuck?" to be far less offensive than "Your breasts are really big"

There's no pretensions in that statement - it's even grounds. It is entirely possible that, yes, a random person on the street wants to fuck (and is willing to do so with somebody who asks so openly that they don't know)

[dr-graffenberg.livejournal.com]

haha.
I don't have a clue as to what to say to a woman to strike up a conversation but I definitely have more than enough sense to know that that certainly is not a viable option.

And I hate the "double that" thing that I just did up there. Is it even grammatically legal. It works fine when it's a voice but with text it's just atrocious. And why am I babbling about this anyway. Ugh.

[conuly]

Haha? Well, it's not the best stylistic choice for print, but I don't see that it's nonstandard, not that I'm an expert.

[conuly]

Oh, I see.

Yeah, the two thats are pretty standard, I should think. English has a lot of those little quirks.

[prezzey.livejournal.com]

Well, a friend of mine who has a beard was asked by a random male (!) stranger whether it tickled her girlfriend's private parts when he was licking her. Some People Are Just Ugh.

[mortaine.livejournal.com]

"your breasts are really big."

"I know, but I can get a reduction. you'll always be stupid."

[deceptica]

I loved your response!

[kayt-arminta.livejournal.com]

I think that guy musta been in the Toronto area a few years ago when I Was working at a games store. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to run away onto a bus. I was at work, alone, so I did what any self respecting woman would do in such a situation;

"Get out, and don't come back."

He left, I'm happy to say, with a very stunned expression on his face, and security to escort him out and take his picture so he couldn't come back.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

My breasts are bigger! :-p

Somehow, you never seemed to give off the "please, I know nothing about my body. Please tell me all about it!" vibe to me. huh. Have you changed in ways I am unaware of my dear? :-p

[conuly]

I should wear a sign: Yes. I know my breasts are big. Shut up, please.

[conuly]

That works too, as does yelling "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU PERVERTED LITTLE CREEP!" (not screaming, just yelling).

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

go here (www.customizedgirl.com). I made a shirt here that says "damn skippy". Up to 4 lines. You can make that shirt you've always wanted. "They're big, aren't they?". Unless you just want me to get it for you for christmas...:)

[conuly]

I can think of other CafePress sayings I'd like on shirts :)

But thankies :)

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

Ok. But just in case you need anything. (psst! they also do kid clothing...)

I'm watching the first episode of Psych. This is funny. :)

[idonotlikepeas]

You should have looked down, shouted "OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? SOMEBODY CALL 911!" and then fled the scene.

[conuly]

What, and missed the bus?

[idonotlikepeas]

Sometimes you have make sacrifices to really make an ass of yourself in public.

Wait a second...

[l33tminion]

One "that" means the same thing as two in most of those cases.

Re: Sometimes it works...

[leora.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and what I like about that is most people direct enough to say it, are also direct enough that you can just say, No, thanks. And they'll go away. I'd prefer someone who asks outright and then leaves if I say no to someone who hedges around being annoying and not giving me an opening to make it clear that I'm not interested.

[darkpoole.livejournal.com]

A friend from college told me a guy came on to her that way, only put it in the form of a question: "Do you know you have really big breasts?" As if there was some remote chance she hadn't noticed this already.

Really blows that "no such thing as a stupid question" theory right out of the water.

[l33tminion]

Poor sap. Folly is the last comfort of the hopelessly incompetent.

[stagemanager.livejournal.com]

Men are pigs.