*eyeroll*

[conuly]

Due to an unfortunate incident with the sink's hose and some cups of water today... *coughs*

I skipped out on work and let 'dul watch his own kids. Hey, he started it!

Which meant that I caught the 1:01 bus this afternoon, right on time for this brilliant guy to show up....

This Brilliant Guy: Hey, how are you?
Me: (in the middle of a book)
TBG: How are you?
Me: Oh... do I know you?
TBG: *appears to be attempting to leer* No... but I'd sure like to.
Me: Yeah... I'm kinda busy.
TBG: Your breasts are really big.

Now, you're wondering, Gentle Readers, if this exchange actually occured. Lo, I kiddeth you not - he actually said this!

Me: What? This is what you say to somebody you don't know?
TBG: ...uh...
Me: That's pathetic. You need to try harder. Seriously.
TBG: Well, how 'bout we -
Me: Ohlookthebusishere!
TBG: But we
Me: BUS!
TBG: Bye.

Seriously. My breasts are big? Like I haven't noticed that somehow? Maybe the realization that my breasts are big will cause me to fall all over him in an orgasm of big-breasted-love?

Yeah. My breasts are big. And he had an ugly cap on. And that had to be the worst line I have ever heard. EVER. I thought your average guy grew out of such inanities before their voices broke, but I guess I was mistaken.

Comments

Sometimes it works...

[the-cynic.livejournal.com]

I had a friend in college who didn't bother with lines. He would go up to every girl he met and say "Hey, wanna f***?". He claims it worked one time in every ten.

Guys never outgrow inanities. Just try telling a fart joke to even your grandfather and watch them laugh.

Re: Sometimes it works...

[conuly]

Y'know what? I find "Hey, wanna fuck?" to be far less offensive than "Your breasts are really big"

There's no pretensions in that statement - it's even grounds. It is entirely possible that, yes, a random person on the street wants to fuck (and is willing to do so with somebody who asks so openly that they don't know)

Re: Sometimes it works...

[leora.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and what I like about that is most people direct enough to say it, are also direct enough that you can just say, No, thanks. And they'll go away. I'd prefer someone who asks outright and then leaves if I say no to someone who hedges around being annoying and not giving me an opening to make it clear that I'm not interested.

Re: Sometimes it works...

[conuly]

Exactly.

Though there's always an opening if you're forthright enough.

*hedgehedgehed-*

SHUT UP! I WOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH! AND IF YOU KEEP TALKING, YOU'LL BE WEARING YOUR BALLS AS A NECKLACE, YOU PUNK!

That works pretty well, I find.