*eyeroll*

[conuly]

Due to an unfortunate incident with the sink's hose and some cups of water today... *coughs*

I skipped out on work and let 'dul watch his own kids. Hey, he started it!

Which meant that I caught the 1:01 bus this afternoon, right on time for this brilliant guy to show up....

This Brilliant Guy: Hey, how are you?
Me: (in the middle of a book)
TBG: How are you?
Me: Oh... do I know you?
TBG: *appears to be attempting to leer* No... but I'd sure like to.
Me: Yeah... I'm kinda busy.
TBG: Your breasts are really big.

Now, you're wondering, Gentle Readers, if this exchange actually occured. Lo, I kiddeth you not - he actually said this!

Me: What? This is what you say to somebody you don't know?
TBG: ...uh...
Me: That's pathetic. You need to try harder. Seriously.
TBG: Well, how 'bout we -
Me: Ohlookthebusishere!
TBG: But we
Me: BUS!
TBG: Bye.

Seriously. My breasts are big? Like I haven't noticed that somehow? Maybe the realization that my breasts are big will cause me to fall all over him in an orgasm of big-breasted-love?

Yeah. My breasts are big. And he had an ugly cap on. And that had to be the worst line I have ever heard. EVER. I thought your average guy grew out of such inanities before their voices broke, but I guess I was mistaken.

Comments

[kynn.livejournal.com]

TBG: Your breasts are really big.

I hate guys.

[conuly]

I limit myself to pitying those who feel they have to stoop to personal comments. Bet they don't get laid much.

Hatred - it's such a nonproductive emotion. I could hate them, but it would take a lot of energy, with very little in the way of results. Better to save my energy for things I can do something about.

Sometimes it works...

[the-cynic.livejournal.com]

I had a friend in college who didn't bother with lines. He would go up to every girl he met and say "Hey, wanna f***?". He claims it worked one time in every ten.

Guys never outgrow inanities. Just try telling a fart joke to even your grandfather and watch them laugh.

Re: Sometimes it works...

[conuly]

Y'know what? I find "Hey, wanna fuck?" to be far less offensive than "Your breasts are really big"

There's no pretensions in that statement - it's even grounds. It is entirely possible that, yes, a random person on the street wants to fuck (and is willing to do so with somebody who asks so openly that they don't know)

[dr-graffenberg.livejournal.com]

haha.
I don't have a clue as to what to say to a woman to strike up a conversation but I definitely have more than enough sense to know that that certainly is not a viable option.

And I hate the "double that" thing that I just did up there. Is it even grammatically legal. It works fine when it's a voice but with text it's just atrocious. And why am I babbling about this anyway. Ugh.

[conuly]

Haha? Well, it's not the best stylistic choice for print, but I don't see that it's nonstandard, not that I'm an expert.

[prezzey.livejournal.com]

Well, a friend of mine who has a beard was asked by a random male (!) stranger whether it tickled her girlfriend's private parts when he was licking her. Some People Are Just Ugh.

[conuly]

Why... I mean.... But...

I have a headache.

[mortaine.livejournal.com]

"your breasts are really big."

"I know, but I can get a reduction. you'll always be stupid."

[conuly]

Hah!

Nah, I'm trying to avoid calling people stupid nowadays. I feel it's insulting to people who actually are, uh, stupid.

Or, at least, I'm experimenting with that idea. Let's see where it gets me.

[deceptica]

I loved your response!

[conuly]

Why, thank you!

[kayt-arminta.livejournal.com]

I think that guy musta been in the Toronto area a few years ago when I Was working at a games store. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to run away onto a bus. I was at work, alone, so I did what any self respecting woman would do in such a situation;

"Get out, and don't come back."

He left, I'm happy to say, with a very stunned expression on his face, and security to escort him out and take his picture so he couldn't come back.

[conuly]

That works too, as does yelling "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU PERVERTED LITTLE CREEP!" (not screaming, just yelling).

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

My breasts are bigger! :-p

Somehow, you never seemed to give off the "please, I know nothing about my body. Please tell me all about it!" vibe to me. huh. Have you changed in ways I am unaware of my dear? :-p

[conuly]

I should wear a sign: Yes. I know my breasts are big. Shut up, please.

[idonotlikepeas]

You should have looked down, shouted "OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? SOMEBODY CALL 911!" and then fled the scene.

[conuly]

What, and missed the bus?

[darkpoole.livejournal.com]

A friend from college told me a guy came on to her that way, only put it in the form of a question: "Do you know you have really big breasts?" As if there was some remote chance she hadn't noticed this already.

Really blows that "no such thing as a stupid question" theory right out of the water.

[conuly]

Oh yeah, I'll say it does.

[l33tminion]

Poor sap. Folly is the last comfort of the hopelessly incompetent.

[stagemanager.livejournal.com]

Men are pigs.

[conuly]

No, they're not. The pig is quite an intelligent animal, thank you very much.

[adina77.livejournal.com]

Didn't this happen to you before?? or am I having a deja vu with someone else experiencing the same thing on Staten Island? Recently i had a guy on the bus brush my leg up and it freaked me out!

[conuly]

You're thinking of the snot-nosed 10-year-old brat who asked if he could touch my breast, most likely on a dare.

[kynn.livejournal.com]

TBG: Your breasts are really big.

I hate guys.

[conuly]

I limit myself to pitying those who feel they have to stoop to personal comments. Bet they don't get laid much.

Hatred - it's such a nonproductive emotion. I could hate them, but it would take a lot of energy, with very little in the way of results. Better to save my energy for things I can do something about.

Sometimes it works...

[the-cynic.livejournal.com]

I had a friend in college who didn't bother with lines. He would go up to every girl he met and say "Hey, wanna f***?". He claims it worked one time in every ten.

Guys never outgrow inanities. Just try telling a fart joke to even your grandfather and watch them laugh.

Re: Sometimes it works...

[conuly]

Y'know what? I find "Hey, wanna fuck?" to be far less offensive than "Your breasts are really big"

There's no pretensions in that statement - it's even grounds. It is entirely possible that, yes, a random person on the street wants to fuck (and is willing to do so with somebody who asks so openly that they don't know)

[(Anonymous)]

haha.
I don't have a clue as to what to say to a woman to strike up a conversation but I definitely have more than enough sense to know that that certainly is not a viable option.

And I hate the "double that" thing that I just did up there. Is it even grammatically legal. It works fine when it's a voice but with text it's just atrocious. And why am I babbling about this anyway. Ugh.

[conuly]

Haha? Well, it's not the best stylistic choice for print, but I don't see that it's nonstandard, not that I'm an expert.

[prezzey.livejournal.com]

Well, a friend of mine who has a beard was asked by a random male (!) stranger whether it tickled her girlfriend's private parts when he was licking her. Some People Are Just Ugh.

[conuly]

Why... I mean.... But...

I have a headache.

[mortaine.livejournal.com]

"your breasts are really big."

"I know, but I can get a reduction. you'll always be stupid."

[conuly]

Hah!

Nah, I'm trying to avoid calling people stupid nowadays. I feel it's insulting to people who actually are, uh, stupid.

Or, at least, I'm experimenting with that idea. Let's see where it gets me.

[deceptica]

I loved your response!

[conuly]

Why, thank you!

[kayt-arminta.livejournal.com]

I think that guy musta been in the Toronto area a few years ago when I Was working at a games store. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to run away onto a bus. I was at work, alone, so I did what any self respecting woman would do in such a situation;

"Get out, and don't come back."

He left, I'm happy to say, with a very stunned expression on his face, and security to escort him out and take his picture so he couldn't come back.

[conuly]

That works too, as does yelling "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU PERVERTED LITTLE CREEP!" (not screaming, just yelling).

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

My breasts are bigger! :-p

Somehow, you never seemed to give off the "please, I know nothing about my body. Please tell me all about it!" vibe to me. huh. Have you changed in ways I am unaware of my dear? :-p

[conuly]

I should wear a sign: Yes. I know my breasts are big. Shut up, please.

[idonotlikepeas]

You should have looked down, shouted "OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? SOMEBODY CALL 911!" and then fled the scene.

[conuly]

What, and missed the bus?

[darkpoole.livejournal.com]

A friend from college told me a guy came on to her that way, only put it in the form of a question: "Do you know you have really big breasts?" As if there was some remote chance she hadn't noticed this already.

Really blows that "no such thing as a stupid question" theory right out of the water.

[conuly]

Oh yeah, I'll say it does.

[l33tminion]

Poor sap. Folly is the last comfort of the hopelessly incompetent.

[stagemanager.livejournal.com]

Men are pigs.

[conuly]

No, they're not. The pig is quite an intelligent animal, thank you very much.