conuly

Young children don't learn new words from TV.

(And yes, that includes TV as "background noise" - what that seems to do is prevent children from fully focusing on the world around them, again, keeping them from learning to their full potential. Just because your kid is playing while the TV is on all day, as some people claim, does not mean it's harmless.)

Like Sweden, they start school later than we do, and like Sweden, they do better on international tests.

I'm not surprised. There's no profit in pushing a kid who really isn't ready to learn to read, or to add, or to tie their shoes - and even if they're ready early, and they do these things early, so what? Nobody can tell when they're grown anyway.

It just seems so weird to me. When children are babies, we understand that some of them walk early, and some talk early, and it doesn't matter. The average age for starting to walk spans nine months - which doesn't sound like a lot, until you realize that the late-end-of-average walkers are twice the age of the early-end-of-average walkers! And we get that development isn't steady. Heck, there's an oft-repeated expression about it - early walker, late talker. (Or the other way around). People say it because it's true.

So what happens when a kid turns five (or six, or three, or whenever that magic age is) that makes us think that they'll suddenly need help, and gain the magic ability to learn on schedule? Often, nowadays, it sounds like on an accelerated schedule.

I don't get it. I just don't.

Was fine most of the day, just coughing, got a sore throat midway through - and then, bam - I stand up and find myself very dizzy. Both lightheaded and spinny dizzy. Very scary when you have a good 45 minutes before your ride shows up, and you're watching her kid (so you can't go home early), and it's pouring rain and you're not dressed for it at all (because you have a ride!).

It's a sinus thing, I know it. I used to feel this way all the time in high school, which explains some of my poor performance. It's weird, though, because recently I also felt another thing I haven't felt in a few years - random anxiety out of nowhere. It took me ages to work out that it was internal instead of external! I would drive myself into a dithering panic over why I felt so anxious and stressed, and make real problems for myself that way, which only, of course, made it worse. But I've worked it out - it's seasonal. Once I worked that out, I was able to ignore it, which made it mostly go away as far as I'm concerned, so it really surprised me when it happened again a few days ago.

Anyway, as it happened, another kid we love and adore (I'll call him P because I'm about to say something marginally sensitive about him) showed up with both his parents, so I had help watching the three I was watching, which was great.

The other parents and I got to talking about school, and their kid. He's turning five this month, and he's in pre-k, and he's struggling. Well, I have some idea why, and I think they know too if they look - he's a little immature. (Well, of course he is, he's four, but I mean he's a little immature compared to most kids his age I know.)

( In which I learn to shut up about things when people don't want to talk about them )

At any rate, I can't convince them I'm right, even though I do think they're coming at this from the wrong angle. I can only sit and hope everything turns out all right in 13 years, and not bring it up again unless they do more than bring it up, but ask me for my opinion. I might make it a "not to be spoken of" topic with them. I hate doing that, I do, but you know I tend to go on and on!

At one point, I'm doing... I don't remember, something at the counter, and behind me I hear Jenn comment that "She'll really be surprised" or somesuch. So I ask "Who she?" meaning "Do you mean me, or can I turn around right now?"

Well, we've been doing a lot of winking and nudging with Angelique lately. She thinks it's fun (it is fun!) and she likes to feel involved, preferably by actually being involved at some level. So Jenn responds, very dramatically, "Oh. Nobody. I didn't say anything!"

And do you know what Angelique said? "It's Nanen's!"

(I know it's really mine, of course, but if I didn't already guess by Jenn's deliberately bad playacting, I would have been fooled by Angelique's deception.)

Later, I asked Jenn what she got me outright, and she pretends (wink wink nudge nudge - say it with me!) she did not get me anything. Angelique then pipes up that it's a pillow. After making faces at my sister for a bit, I ascertain that no, it is not a pillow.

Last year, she would not have done that. She did lie, but not well enough to *ever* fool me, and not at socially approved times. If asked to keep a secret, she'd go "Okay!" and then run to share the secret with the person she was supposed to be keeping the secret from. Or she'd blurt it out by seeming accident (I was never too sure about that one way or another) going "I won't tell you that your present is whatever" or something.

This is such a major step, and I didn't even see it coming until it was here. Wow.

The weirdest thing about how Ana's language develops (and by weird I mean "interesting" not, y'know, weird) has to be how she makes up new coinages I *know* she hasn't heard.

She doesn't say she wants us to unVERB something. It's always that she wants us to VERB backwards. So we "zip up jacket backwards" and "put shoes on backwards" and similar, instead of unzipping and taking off (well, she says that one too, but she never says unzip).

It's just beyond cool.

The second weirdest thing is how fast it moves, even when you think you're beyond the point of being able to discern explosive language growth. Friday, Ana and I were out walking, and she saw a broken balloon on the ground.

Ana: OH! Dey bwoke ba-yoon!
Me: Yes, I guess they did.
Ana: I want bayoon. I ask Daddy for bayoon. And Mommy. I ask Mommy and Daddy for bayoon yater.
Me: Okay. What color balloon do you want?
Ana: Uh... Owange. I yike owange. I ask Daddy for owange bayoon when he gets home.

This conversation would not have been possible a few months ago. I'm not even sure it was possible a few weeks ago. But a few days ago, we had it. We had an actual conversation, referencing events that might happen in the future. Just a short while ago, the conversation would've stopped, at best, after her statement that she wanted a balloon - or even just after her comment that the balloon existed.

When Ana had just turned two, we met at the museum another little girl who was about the age Ana is now. And we couldn't get over how talkative and clear she was. Sure, Ana talked a lot, but not like this!

And we didn't believe my mom when she told all of us that Ana'd be like that a year from then (that is to say, now). But she is. She really is.

She also dances. Well, you knew that. She'll be playing, and then she's half spinning back and forth (you know, turning one way, then the other?), or she'll be shaking, and she's dancing she says.

It's just a bit irritating when you want to talk to her about why (say) we DO NOT pull on electrical cords. Because that's when she... is... well, she's more likely to be dancing sans music then*. (Well, she calls it dancing, though without music I'm more inclined to call it Ana-stimming, because that's what it looks like to me. Seems to fit the same purpose, too.)

Which, I know, that one's not on the normal side of things. But when I'm not trying to impress upon her the importance of not touching dangerous things, I'm glad she's happy doing things that make her, ah, happy.

...

That last sentence isn't very clear. Or well-constructed. I'm sorry.

*_{I should clarify - it irritates me then because it distracts me and makes it hard for me to concentrate on what I'm saying. When I'm talking about something important, I do like to get my point across. Plus, I suspect she's doing that in part to keep from listening. That's why we're going now on the "what did I just say" idea - if I find out she listens better when not dancing/stimming/fidgeting, we'll have to find a way to work on that. If I find out she listens better when she *is* doing such, then I'll be the one with work to do, won't I?}