conuly | Asking for help....

You're viewing

conuly's journal
Create a Dreamwidth Account Learn More

Reload page in style: site light

A friend of mine is very worried about her daughter, who is diagnosed ADHD and bipolar and who seems to be getting worse all the time. That hair-pulling thing, what looks like the beginnings of an eating disorder, violence towards inanimate objects, suicidal thoughts - that's a lot to fit into 13 years.

I don't have any advice, and doubt I could help, but I know some of my friends are near experts on these sorts of subjects, so I thought I'd ask you to help. If you want to comment there, go ahead, but I gave her my journal's addy, so she can come her and comment and read your comments.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

snale.livejournal.com

I don't know if I can help at all, but I went through some similar problems when I was close to her age (a little older). Often doing stuff like pulling out hair or behaving wildly like kicking down doors (I did both) is just acting out from a buildup of confusing emotions. She may say it "isn't her" or that "she doesn't do those things". I denied it too. I didn't know why I was doing what I was doing and I was afraid of confronting it. The best thing that happened for me, was being expected to be responsible for my actions combined with my parents displaying a certain amount of trust that I would do the right thing. I think your daughter's problems are probably more serious than mine were, but holding her accountable and talking about the things she's doing is better than blaming them on "Mr. Nobody". If she's anything like me, she's having trouble making sense of the world around her and anything you can do to create a sense of cause and effect (that makes sense) is going to help. The more she can know what to expect and feel free to express her confusion and expect understanding and explanation, the better. She may not be talking to anyone because she may not see the point in it. At least, that's how I felt. I hope this makes sense and can help you and your daughter. I remember that time very vividly and it was awful. I hope things get better for you both soon.

From: (Anonymous)

Hi. Thank you for replying. The Mr. Nobody thing was a little joke. I forget that sarcasm doesn't travel well over the internet. *blush*

I'll keep what you said in mind. It is nice to know she isn't the only person that acts this way, but I'm so sorry you had to go through it. It is terrible.

Yes, taking responsibility for her actions is something we have been working on. We use the "Love and Logic" approach to parenting. In most things, it works, but for this? She has to see her problems as her own before she can take the responsibility. This is the main subject of the sessions with her doctors.

She is a very immature little girl in a world of more mature 8th graders. It is confusing for her.

It is something we'll have to work on day by day. There is no easy answer. She's healthy and smart. She has people who love her. I just worry about her so.

Thank you so much for sharing. It is surprising, now that I've told someone, other than my family and the doctors, I feel much better. I may just have to check into this lj thing. It might be a help to us all. She loves to write, but we will have to wait until she is ungrounded. I think it may just be a fun project for us to work on. Much better than creating petpages.

From:

snale.livejournal.com

I'm glad you found this outlet! It's a great forum to get emotions out in the open and to get support from some truly kind people. Your daughter will probably enjoy it just as much. :)