*jawdrops*

May. 12th, 2005 10:45 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Maybe it's just me...

Will It Be a Boy or a Girl? You Could Check the Receipt
By LINDA SASLOW

When Rochelle Ludwig became pregnant last year, she and her husband, David, debated whether to find out the sex of their baby early. Knowing that a routine sonogram at 20 weeks would most likely provide that information, they ultimately resisted the urge to look.

Laura and Lloyd Rosenbaum also thought it was important to be surprised. "When we thought about the excitement when the baby is born and you hear, 'It's a girl!' or 'It's a boy!' - we didn't want to give up that moment," she said.

But the Ludwigs and Rosenbaums wanted someone to know, behind the counter at the baby store.

Maybe it is another example of big city neuroticism. Or maybe it is the ultimate in practicality. But the Ludwigs and the Rosenbaums are among a growing number of Manhattan parents-to-be who do not learn the sex of their baby early, but still want the nursery decorated when baby arrives. So they choose two sets of furniture, clothing and bedding, then ask the store owners to call their obstetrician to find out whether to submit the order in pink or blue.

"It's a New York mentality," said Dr. Ricky Friedman, an obstetrician on the Upper East Side. "With the new technology at our disposal, just about anyone who wants to know the sex of their baby can. But for about half of our patients, who want to be surprised, they still want to be fully prepared, and everything still has to be planned perfectly."

Susan Johnson, co-owner of Blue Bench, in TriBeCa, has kept the secret for a dozen customers. But the service is starting to get more attention in places like New York magazine.

"The first time a customer asked me to call her doctor, I was so nervous and afraid that I'd blow the surprise," she said. "After we had spent hours together picking out two sets of furniture, bedding and curtains, once I knew what she was having, I told her not to call me again during her pregnancy."

Keeping the secret is especially hard for store owners when family members come snooping around.

"There have been several occasions," said Pat Meyerson, co-owner of La Layette, on the Upper East Side, "when a sister or mother-in-law has called and asked us to share the secret, but we never tell. Once we know the sex of the baby, we write it down on a sheet of paper and put it away - so we can try to forget that we know."

Ms. Johnson said one pregnant customer asked her to share the secret only with her mother.

"She wanted to have the nursery painted, carpeted and decorated in time for the baby, but didn't want to know herself," she said. "So every day when she went to work, her mom came to her apartment and worked on the room, then padlocked the door before leaving. For months, she lived with a padlocked nursery."

Not knowing can be excruciating, the expectant parents say.

After the Rosenbaums' sonogram, the technician wrote the sex of their baby on a slip of paper, folded it into a sealed envelope and handed it to them. "We made it for one block, then ripped up the envelope and threw the pieces into a garbage pail," Ms. Rosenbaum said.

But a month later, she returned for another sonogram, "and this time brought it to my doctor's office, so the stores could know." (It was a boy.)

Some parents look for clues, said Pamela Scurry, owner of Wicker Garden, on the Upper East Side. One customer, she said, had ordered two sets of layettes, but came back with her mother to choose alternatives when some items were unavailable.

"When the saleswoman spent a lot of time with them choosing a new pink blanket, they were smiling at each other, certain we knew it was a girl," Ms. Scurry said. When they chose an outfit for a bris, the circumcision ceremony, in case it was a boy, "and the saleswoman spent even longer helping them, they looked at each other again, now convinced that it was a boy. They were so busy trying to figure it out, without really wanting to know." (It was a girl.)

Temptation sat in Ms. Ludwig's home for weeks. After she had ordered two sets of bedding and two gliders, one with pink fabric, the other with blue, she told the store to ship the order to the home of her husband's family. But three weeks before her due date, the glider was mistakenly shipped to her apartment.

"For three long weeks, it sat in our nursery, in a huge box marked 'Do not open,' " Ms. Ludwig said. "It was torture." (The glider came in blue.)

Date: 2005-05-12 07:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com
What a moron - I got classic Pooh and that was gender neutral. Lots of baby stuff is.

I will say something -- my cousin opted not to know, and she chose Beatrix Potter, which is gender neutral. Sadly, they didnt have everything she wanted, it was discontinued, and her next choices were not gender neutral.

So, she burst into tears in the store, whipped out her cellphone, and called her doctor.

But see, that's pregnancy hormones talking, as opposed to the pre-planned insanity mentioned in your article.

Date: 2005-05-12 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beetlebomb.livejournal.com
You can't go wrong with Winnie the Pooh! Even as an adult I tend to have lots of Tigger stuff around the house as he's my favorite!
Other gender-neutral themes would include the circus and Noah's Ark.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] sparkofcreation.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 11:36 am (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2005-05-12 08:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadesong.livejournal.com
I did Classic Pooh too. :)

Date: 2005-05-12 07:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beetlebomb.livejournal.com
Soft green is better than yellow. I read somewhere that babies cry more in a yellow room because it tends to be a harsh colour on their little eyes. The same article also said to decorate the guest room in yellow if you don't want visitors overstaying their welcome. Another good bet would be to have all colours of the rainbow. Children like colourful things and contrast helps their eyes learn to focus.

Date: 2005-05-12 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lizziey.livejournal.com
yellow was my sons absolute favorite color as an infant. yellow toys calmed him down when he was uspet.

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Date: 2005-05-12 07:59 am (UTC)
innerbrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerbrat
It makes me angry, this pink-blue nonsense. It makes me actually want to slap parents and tell them to stop being such idiots.

Why? Because I think gender roles are to a great extent artificial constructs, and they limit the potential of us as humans. And the minute you choose "pink for a girl" or "blue for a boy", you've decided that this child is going to sit in this little box society's made with your approval.

I had a long debate the other day with a father who said he was never going to have to deal with a cross dressing child because his children, who are 2 and 4 "were happy in their proper gender roles", the boy playing with truck and the girls with My Little Ponies and the very idea of a proper gender role disgusts me.

I hate pink. I like blue. It's a pretty, feminine colours. My baby girls will be dressed in blues and whites and lilacs. So are my boys, for that matter. I don't think I've worn pink in my life, and I turned out OK.

Date: 2005-05-12 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mortaine.livejournal.com
Much as I love to see my neice dressed like a doll, I even more love to buy her overalls....

Date: 2005-05-12 10:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com
You know what though? I tried to be gender neutral with my kids and it just didn't work out. They gravitated towards the stereotypes anyway.

Either way it's forcing the issue, I think, and now I just follow the lead of my children instead of what society wants or political correctness expects.

(no subject)

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Date: 2005-05-12 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xandiwillflailx.livejournal.com
that does strike me as a bit moronic...but what is really strange...if you don't want to know, fine...but dont go looking for clues then! if you want to know, then go find out, its not that difficult. but it seems like some parents just dont know whether they want to know or not.

and i can totally see this ending up as a legal situation...all that emotional strife! oh noes!

Date: 2005-05-12 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arikatt.livejournal.com
Pastels are stupid for babies. They need bright and varied colors to focus on. I hate stupid people.

Date: 2005-05-12 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amarafox.livejournal.com
Yeah! Bright primary colours.

I hate this pink and blue stuff, too. it's a really, really really north american mindset.

A friend of mine has a baby girl and her bedroom is bright blue, green and yellow. :D

Date: 2005-05-12 10:07 am (UTC)
ancarett: Change the World - Jack Layton's Last Letter (Default)
From: [personal profile] ancarett
You know what I love? Pink used to be thought a boy's colour, too strong and warm a tone for girls. I'm not kidding!

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=238733

Date: 2005-05-12 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cindel.livejournal.com
You can never go wrong with Winnie the Pooh or Bambi

Yellow or Green anyone?

Date: 2005-05-12 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-lady-aurora.livejournal.com
People like that just need a good smack. I had lots of alphabet type wallpaper with eeyore - he's my fave!

Date: 2005-05-12 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] naive-notstupid.livejournal.com
water, trees, flowers.. dolphins, clouds...

those are what i decorated baby rooms with, until they showed active interests in other things.

i could be wrong, but my kids did end up being nature buffs. ^_^

Date: 2005-05-12 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leora.livejournal.com
Just a guess, but that probably relates more to how you raised them and what you exposed them to than to what was put on their walls as a baby. :)

But at least there weren't any scary clowns. Dolphins sound nice.

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Date: 2005-05-12 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiggaroo.livejournal.com
Nurseries sort of make me sad.

Date: 2005-05-12 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiggaroo.livejournal.com
Hey, speaking of babies, Ana's second birthday is the 15th, right? Not that I can afford gifts or anything, but.

Date: 2005-05-12 07:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com
What a moron - I got classic Pooh and that was gender neutral. Lots of baby stuff is.

I will say something -- my cousin opted not to know, and she chose Beatrix Potter, which is gender neutral. Sadly, they didnt have everything she wanted, it was discontinued, and her next choices were not gender neutral.

So, she burst into tears in the store, whipped out her cellphone, and called her doctor.

But see, that's pregnancy hormones talking, as opposed to the pre-planned insanity mentioned in your article.

Date: 2005-05-12 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beetlebomb.livejournal.com
You can't go wrong with Winnie the Pooh! Even as an adult I tend to have lots of Tigger stuff around the house as he's my favorite!
Other gender-neutral themes would include the circus and Noah's Ark.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] sparkofcreation.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 11:36 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] beetlebomb.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 05:33 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] shadesong.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 08:42 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2005-05-12 07:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beetlebomb.livejournal.com
Soft green is better than yellow. I read somewhere that babies cry more in a yellow room because it tends to be a harsh colour on their little eyes. The same article also said to decorate the guest room in yellow if you don't want visitors overstaying their welcome. Another good bet would be to have all colours of the rainbow. Children like colourful things and contrast helps their eyes learn to focus.

Date: 2005-05-12 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lizziey.livejournal.com
yellow was my sons absolute favorite color as an infant. yellow toys calmed him down when he was uspet.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] beetlebomb.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 07:20 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2005-05-12 07:59 am (UTC)
innerbrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innerbrat
It makes me angry, this pink-blue nonsense. It makes me actually want to slap parents and tell them to stop being such idiots.

Why? Because I think gender roles are to a great extent artificial constructs, and they limit the potential of us as humans. And the minute you choose "pink for a girl" or "blue for a boy", you've decided that this child is going to sit in this little box society's made with your approval.

I had a long debate the other day with a father who said he was never going to have to deal with a cross dressing child because his children, who are 2 and 4 "were happy in their proper gender roles", the boy playing with truck and the girls with My Little Ponies and the very idea of a proper gender role disgusts me.

I hate pink. I like blue. It's a pretty, feminine colours. My baby girls will be dressed in blues and whites and lilacs. So are my boys, for that matter. I don't think I've worn pink in my life, and I turned out OK.

Date: 2005-05-12 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mortaine.livejournal.com
Much as I love to see my neice dressed like a doll, I even more love to buy her overalls....

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 10:06 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] innerbrat - Date: 2005-05-12 10:27 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] kibbles.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 10:45 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] sparkofcreation.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 11:39 am (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2005-05-12 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xandiwillflailx.livejournal.com
that does strike me as a bit moronic...but what is really strange...if you don't want to know, fine...but dont go looking for clues then! if you want to know, then go find out, its not that difficult. but it seems like some parents just dont know whether they want to know or not.

and i can totally see this ending up as a legal situation...all that emotional strife! oh noes!

Date: 2005-05-12 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arikatt.livejournal.com
Pastels are stupid for babies. They need bright and varied colors to focus on. I hate stupid people.

Date: 2005-05-12 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amarafox.livejournal.com
Yeah! Bright primary colours.

I hate this pink and blue stuff, too. it's a really, really really north american mindset.

A friend of mine has a baby girl and her bedroom is bright blue, green and yellow. :D

Date: 2005-05-12 10:07 am (UTC)
ancarett: (Meh! Edna Mode Incredibles)
From: [personal profile] ancarett
You know what I love? Pink used to be thought a boy's colour, too strong and warm a tone for girls. I'm not kidding!

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=238733

Date: 2005-05-12 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cindel.livejournal.com
You can never go wrong with Winnie the Pooh or Bambi

Yellow or Green anyone?

Date: 2005-05-12 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-lady-aurora.livejournal.com
People like that just need a good smack. I had lots of alphabet type wallpaper with eeyore - he's my fave!

Date: 2005-05-12 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] naive-notstupid.livejournal.com
water, trees, flowers.. dolphins, clouds...

those are what i decorated baby rooms with, until they showed active interests in other things.

i could be wrong, but my kids did end up being nature buffs. ^_^

Date: 2005-05-12 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leora.livejournal.com
Just a guess, but that probably relates more to how you raised them and what you exposed them to than to what was put on their walls as a baby. :)

But at least there weren't any scary clowns. Dolphins sound nice.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] naive-notstupid.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-05-12 05:59 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

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Date: 2005-05-12 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiggaroo.livejournal.com
Nurseries sort of make me sad.

Date: 2005-05-12 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiggaroo.livejournal.com
Hey, speaking of babies, Ana's second birthday is the 15th, right? Not that I can afford gifts or anything, but.

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