Something ![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
priyatelka posted about got me thinking...
Oct. 15th, 2004 01:11 pmconuly
And then I saw this. It's the same exact thing!
"I remember the day when I found out that Ryan was deaf," his mother said. "My first thought was I'd never be able to talk to him. My second thought was I'd never be able to hear him read, and I'm a teacher, so that was important to me."
She can't learn to communicate with him in any other way? It's important to her to hear him read. It doesn't matter that he can still learn to read (hell, he can still learn to read aloud!) and that it's the reading that's important, no, it's important to her that she can hear him read.
Her needs come first. This is all through the article:
Thus, Ryan and others with implants would lose their ability to hear if they were to disconnect their hardware. Because of this, Ryan has been limited in his ability to play contact sports, Melanie O'Donohue said, and he has to take extra precautions when playing on slides and other structures during recess.
"There are frustrating things we have to endure from a parent's point of view," she said. "But they're not as frustrating as not being able to talk to him."
He can't run around like the other kids, but it's worth it because she can talk to him, and everybody knows deaf kids can't talk at all.
"I had been very doubtful that would ever happen, ..." O'Donohue said. "I think every parent wants to hear their kid's voice and hear them tell you that they love you."
Again, it's about what she wants. She wants to hear him say he loves her. Doesn't matter that he loves her or not, she needs to hear it.
"When you lose your sense of hearing, you lose your identity because you can't hear your own voice. You can't identify with people. You can see them, but you can't appreciate what's going on," Luetje said. "Now look at Ryan. He's caught up; he's in regular school."
*stares*
I can't believe she actually said this. Any of it.
Look, I'm not going to argue whether or not the implant is the right thing for any kid, or for this kid. I don't know enough about it. But at the very least, I should hope that parents make decisions based on the child's needs, and not on the needs of the parent. It's the exact same thing with autistic kids! A lot of parents, their needs come first. They need to hear their kid say s/he loves them, even if they really don't. They need to have a normal child at all costs, and that's just not right. It blinds them, they can't see if their needs are good for their kid. All they see is themselves.
If you're curious, Priya's entry is here.
"I remember the day when I found out that Ryan was deaf," his mother said. "My first thought was I'd never be able to talk to him. My second thought was I'd never be able to hear him read, and I'm a teacher, so that was important to me."
She can't learn to communicate with him in any other way? It's important to her to hear him read. It doesn't matter that he can still learn to read (hell, he can still learn to read aloud!) and that it's the reading that's important, no, it's important to her that she can hear him read.
Her needs come first. This is all through the article:
Thus, Ryan and others with implants would lose their ability to hear if they were to disconnect their hardware. Because of this, Ryan has been limited in his ability to play contact sports, Melanie O'Donohue said, and he has to take extra precautions when playing on slides and other structures during recess.
"There are frustrating things we have to endure from a parent's point of view," she said. "But they're not as frustrating as not being able to talk to him."
He can't run around like the other kids, but it's worth it because she can talk to him, and everybody knows deaf kids can't talk at all.
"I had been very doubtful that would ever happen, ..." O'Donohue said. "I think every parent wants to hear their kid's voice and hear them tell you that they love you."
Again, it's about what she wants. She wants to hear him say he loves her. Doesn't matter that he loves her or not, she needs to hear it.
"When you lose your sense of hearing, you lose your identity because you can't hear your own voice. You can't identify with people. You can see them, but you can't appreciate what's going on," Luetje said. "Now look at Ryan. He's caught up; he's in regular school."
*stares*
I can't believe she actually said this. Any of it.
Look, I'm not going to argue whether or not the implant is the right thing for any kid, or for this kid. I don't know enough about it. But at the very least, I should hope that parents make decisions based on the child's needs, and not on the needs of the parent. It's the exact same thing with autistic kids! A lot of parents, their needs come first. They need to hear their kid say s/he loves them, even if they really don't. They need to have a normal child at all costs, and that's just not right. It blinds them, they can't see if their needs are good for their kid. All they see is themselves.
If you're curious, Priya's entry is here.
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:25 am (UTC)You know, I was thinking about it more and I'm seriously wondering how much that whole culture of "parents are always right, it's their kid" plays into it? I mean, no one hold parents accountable for their behavior toward their children unless it's a very severe instance and even then it's hit and miss. The overriding belief seems to be that parents always know what's right for their kid and no one should interfere with that.
I know I've heard people talking about seeing someone in a grocery store hitting their kid and they always say "well, I didn't want to say anything, it's their kid".
I'm rambling and not altogether coherent today. Just something I've been thinking about.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:30 am (UTC)Parents make mistakes. It happens. They're just as flawed about their kids as in every other aspect of life. Live with it.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:13 am (UTC)This is... such... bullshit. True story, the "kid" in question was 18, legally an adult, a person of majority, and their parents were doing that bullshit "you put it on your plate so you have to eat it." I had a meltdown, almost killed the mother, and meanwhile the family is trying to tell me that because this is between a parent and her child, that as an adult I have no right to offer my opinion to another adult about her treatment of another adult (yet, of course, these adults were giving me their opinion on how I, as an adult, should treat the interactions between these two adults as sacrosanct).
This is what makes Destroy Parenthood And Raise Everyone Communially people seem more and more sane every day.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:20 am (UTC)Even if they ARE adults.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:31 am (UTC)"Just because you squeezed me out of your cunt doesn't give you the right to treat me like vaginal discharge."
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:33 pm (UTC)I discover you're one seething fount of revoltingly funny bile.
10/10 for vile humour.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-16 12:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:25 am (UTC)You know, I was thinking about it more and I'm seriously wondering how much that whole culture of "parents are always right, it's their kid" plays into it? I mean, no one hold parents accountable for their behavior toward their children unless it's a very severe instance and even then it's hit and miss. The overriding belief seems to be that parents always know what's right for their kid and no one should interfere with that.
I know I've heard people talking about seeing someone in a grocery store hitting their kid and they always say "well, I didn't want to say anything, it's their kid".
I'm rambling and not altogether coherent today. Just something I've been thinking about.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:30 am (UTC)Parents make mistakes. It happens. They're just as flawed about their kids as in every other aspect of life. Live with it.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:13 am (UTC)This is... such... bullshit. True story, the "kid" in question was 18, legally an adult, a person of majority, and their parents were doing that bullshit "you put it on your plate so you have to eat it." I had a meltdown, almost killed the mother, and meanwhile the family is trying to tell me that because this is between a parent and her child, that as an adult I have no right to offer my opinion to another adult about her treatment of another adult (yet, of course, these adults were giving me their opinion on how I, as an adult, should treat the interactions between these two adults as sacrosanct).
This is what makes Destroy Parenthood And Raise Everyone Communially people seem more and more sane every day.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:20 am (UTC)Even if they ARE adults.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:31 am (UTC)"Just because you squeezed me out of your cunt doesn't give you the right to treat me like vaginal discharge."
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:33 pm (UTC)I discover you're one seething fount of revoltingly funny bile.
10/10 for vile humour.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-16 12:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 11:34 am (UTC)