I just don't fit in....

[conuly]

I have some people telling me that they think I'm the sort of person who loves kids so much that I don't mind their screaming (so not true, by the way - I mind the screaming, I just understand that it's not always evitable). And then other people ask me why I'm posting in certain forums if I "hate children". I do love children (in a general sense. This may or may not apply to YOUR child). I find them easier to understand than most adults, anyway, and I like doing a LOT of the same things (wow, that's an embarassing confession!).

But apparently, my not wanting to have kids means I hate them.

*sighs*

Okay, I need something new to talk about. Hold on, I'm going to check the news....

*grumbles*

Nothing interesting. Grr.

Comments

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

*grins* I do go a little overboard at times, on my own trinkets and treats as well as hers. Like a lot of Bards, I'm a grasshopper by nature, not an ant. I don't feel bad about "spoiling" my girlie, though, because she deserves it.

I always wonder what's going on with parents who say "no" just to prove that they can - their kid wants something, not a piece of junk but something nice, and they can easily afford it; they'd spend ten times that much on an impulse-purchase for themselves without blinking, and yet they say no to the kid. Well, if the kid has been a butt lately, trinkets and treats are certainly to be withheld - THAT'S the way to make a classic "spoiled brat"; reward obnoxious behavior - but if the kid's been good, why not just go ahead and say "yes"?

LOL, my girlie's got my number - long ago she figured out that being good gets rewarded, being exceptionally good gets exceptionally rewarded, so she is good almost all the time, and exceptionally good on frequent occasions. Positive reinforcement is definitely the child-rearing method of choice.

I'm quietly amused at all those parents who spanked, scolded, threatened, demanded, yelled, withheld treats, enforced rules for no reason but that they were the rules - and criticized me for not doing the same, predicting dire consequences. My kid's 15 now and says, direct quote, "I'm not doing the teen-rebel thing because I've got nothing to rebel against; I agree with the rules my parents set for me."

Being a parent doesn't have to mean being a bad guy; just that too many people don't know how to parent any other way. But certainly, someone who doesn't wish to be a parent shouldn't be one - aunts and uncles and childfree grown-up friends are essential to children and parents both, to give them a break from each other now and then. *grins* My kidling's been raised by her whole Clan, not just her parents - "share the wealth", right?

[conuly]

Well, sometimes you *do* have to be the badguy. You have to say "no, seth, you're not allowed to pull hair" and "no, ana, you're not getting what you want by throwing a melodramatic temper tantrum" and I don't like it :(

But yes, positive reinforcement is the way to go.