Please stop doing this one weird trick!

[conuly]

Yes, it's true that each time you switch speakers you start a new paragraph, but that does not mean that you stay in the old paragraph right up until the moment somebody else speaks.

As soon as the action switches from Alice to Bob, that's when you start the paragraph.



1. Alice shook her head. "I don't think that works, Bob." Bob turned around in confusion.

"Why not? It makes perfect sense to me!" Alice sighed as she struggled to explain.

"It just... doesn't!"

2. Alice shook her head. "I don't think that works, Bob."

Bob turned around in confusion. "Why not? It makes perfect sense to me!"

Alice sighed as she struggled to explain. "It just... doesn't!"

You see? One of these definitely flows better.

On an unrelated note, if somebody says they welcome otherwise unsolicited editorial corrections of spelling, grammar, general word choice, exactly how much should one take them at their word, and how many suggestions are too many?

Comments

[hilarita]

I'd drop a few suggestions (2-3) first of all, and then ask if they're still interested in editorial suggestions.

[cimorene]

+1 Unfortunately there's no way to know in advance quite how far they mean it.