Hypothetical question....

[conuly]

Is it better to change your appearance, and then feel better about yourself, or to work on your self-image and worry about your appearance later (if at all)?

I know which one I vote for.

Comments

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I think it all depends on how you change your appearance. Getting a nice new haircut or new clothes is fine. Starving yourself to look like a toothpick is not. I also don't agree with getting plastic surgery unless you're a burn victim or something, because it's so expensive and pretty extreme. So I guess I'd say it's alright if it's something fairly small and reversible like the first two examples, but not something dangerous (like starving yourself) or irreversible like plastic surgery.

And also there's a degree as to how much your self-esteem depends on your appearance. I think it's fine to feel good about getting a new haircut to a certain degree, but your entire world shouldn't be shattered if you have a day where you look like crap. Moderation is a good thing.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Having a good self image doesn't mean you HAVE to be content with looking less than your best. I have a decent self image but still enjoy dressing up, getting a haircut, waxing my eyebrows, whatever.

I think the difference is I like doing this for myself, and I am not doing it for anyone else but me. Can't even say I am doing it for my spouse, because, well, he's not here!

Also for me, trying on looks is almost like trying on different personalities. It's fun!

[rho]

I think there's a lot to be said for changing your appearance as part of the process of improving your self-image. It's a fairly straightforward, quick and easy method of making yourself more like the sort of person you want to be. It's good for a quick jolt of self-esteem and it can help catalyse other changes to make you feel better about yourself.

However, you do have to view it as part of a process, or it doesn't actually accomplish anything. If all you're doing is a one-off change of appearance to try to feel better about yourself, then you likely have other, bigger problems that need tackling as well.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Personally, I find that a change in my appearance goes a long way toward encouraging me to change my self-image, even if I only make a small change.

For example, I may spend some extra time "prettying myself up", whether that be a new haircut, a different style of clothing, what have you. When I find I like it, and I like how I feel like that, I make an effort to upkeep that appearance, and eventually find that even on days when I lapse and bum around, I still feel like I look good, simply because I've put effort into myself in the past, and because I think everyone deserves an "off" day.

...Does that make sense?

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

That absolutely makes sense. If you have one or two little things that just make you feel *really good* (regardless of whether anyone else really likes them or not) it can brighten up your whole outlook.

On the other hand, I definitely agree with the above comments - it is all about moderation. If you hate the size of your boobs that does NOT mean a boob job is the de facto solution. I think then working with some *other* part that you DO like is a good start there.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Well, here's what I think about that.

If I hate my boobs, why is it that I hate them? If they're too small, well, I can wear a padded bra. If they're too large, why are they too large? Am I overweight? If I lose a pound, it might not make a difference in my boobs, but if I lose ten, it will, and I'll be healthier as well.

Win win, right?

[firingneurons.livejournal.com]

Small, non-permanent changes that boost self-image I'm all for, but not serious cosmetic changes. I know for myself I'd always been self-concious about my teeth, I vowed to save up enough money to get braces, etcetc, but after a while I became more comfortable with who I am, and what I look like and now I haven't the slightest desire to get braces.

I just think it's better to become comfortable with who you are rather than try and alter yourself into who you wish you were.

[ex-chaos-by-699.livejournal.com]

I think it all depends on how you change your appearance. Getting a nice new haircut or new clothes is fine. Starving yourself to look like a toothpick is not. I also don't agree with getting plastic surgery unless you're a burn victim or something, because it's so expensive and pretty extreme. So I guess I'd say it's alright if it's something fairly small and reversible like the first two examples, but not something dangerous (like starving yourself) or irreversible like plastic surgery.

And also there's a degree as to how much your self-esteem depends on your appearance. I think it's fine to feel good about getting a new haircut to a certain degree, but your entire world shouldn't be shattered if you have a day where you look like crap. Moderation is a good thing.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Having a good self image doesn't mean you HAVE to be content with looking less than your best. I have a decent self image but still enjoy dressing up, getting a haircut, waxing my eyebrows, whatever.

I think the difference is I like doing this for myself, and I am not doing it for anyone else but me. Can't even say I am doing it for my spouse, because, well, he's not here!

Also for me, trying on looks is almost like trying on different personalities. It's fun!

[rho]

I think there's a lot to be said for changing your appearance as part of the process of improving your self-image. It's a fairly straightforward, quick and easy method of making yourself more like the sort of person you want to be. It's good for a quick jolt of self-esteem and it can help catalyse other changes to make you feel better about yourself.

However, you do have to view it as part of a process, or it doesn't actually accomplish anything. If all you're doing is a one-off change of appearance to try to feel better about yourself, then you likely have other, bigger problems that need tackling as well.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Personally, I find that a change in my appearance goes a long way toward encouraging me to change my self-image, even if I only make a small change.

For example, I may spend some extra time "prettying myself up", whether that be a new haircut, a different style of clothing, what have you. When I find I like it, and I like how I feel like that, I make an effort to upkeep that appearance, and eventually find that even on days when I lapse and bum around, I still feel like I look good, simply because I've put effort into myself in the past, and because I think everyone deserves an "off" day.

...Does that make sense?

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

That absolutely makes sense. If you have one or two little things that just make you feel *really good* (regardless of whether anyone else really likes them or not) it can brighten up your whole outlook.

On the other hand, I definitely agree with the above comments - it is all about moderation. If you hate the size of your boobs that does NOT mean a boob job is the de facto solution. I think then working with some *other* part that you DO like is a good start there.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Well, here's what I think about that.

If I hate my boobs, why is it that I hate them? If they're too small, well, I can wear a padded bra. If they're too large, why are they too large? Am I overweight? If I lose a pound, it might not make a difference in my boobs, but if I lose ten, it will, and I'll be healthier as well.

Win win, right?

[firingneurons.livejournal.com]

Small, non-permanent changes that boost self-image I'm all for, but not serious cosmetic changes. I know for myself I'd always been self-concious about my teeth, I vowed to save up enough money to get braces, etcetc, but after a while I became more comfortable with who I am, and what I look like and now I haven't the slightest desire to get braces.

I just think it's better to become comfortable with who you are rather than try and alter yourself into who you wish you were.