Tres annoyed.

[conuly]

We've all seen this, right?

Well, somebody posted it in asperger. And I replied, pointing out things I thought were useful (noticing when your kid is likely to go into meltdown is a Good Thing, for example), the ones I thought were tragically misguided (not every autistic person is visually oriented, and pretending that this is the case is damaging to those who aren't, no matter how good your intentions), and, of course, commenting on the ones I thought were dead wrong (you know how I feel about person-first language, right?).

She deleted her post, didn't reply to me.

Okay, fine. That's her perogative.

What I didn't realize until today was that she followed this up by posting one of those "I'm leaving!!!!" posts afterwards. I really hate those. In the course of this post, she called us sour, judgmental, intolerant, angry at the world... well, she called me that, I suppose. Whatever. That's pretty much par for the course with these posts, so, while I'm irked, and perfectly willing to argue with her (hey, I might as well get some use out of this nasty mood... that's probably a bad sign, come to think of it) I'm not especially upset.

But then she tells me that I was unnecessarily rude in my reply to her, and that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all.

WTF?

She's nice, but I'm horribly rude (and judgmental, and sour, and angry at the world, and a host of other bad things)?

See, now I'm actually pissed.

Comments

[leora.livejournal.com]

Awww, poor little kid. She couldn't come in as the more-informed savior spreading information and being respected as the sage she is. How cruel you all were to not realize that she is the most informed, best source of guidance the community could possibly have.

[conuly]

Let's not be too harsh. She really did mean well. I think.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Why not be too harsh? I'm not saying she doesn't mean well. I'm saying when that makes her fall flat on her face, she picks up her toys and goes home rather than being willing to learn ~why~ that made her fall flat on her face.

That strikes me as typical - I want to be admired and respected, and if I'm wrong,. you're mean for pointing it out, rather than helping me to become someone people will admire and respect.

I thought I was allowed to pick on bad traits. I'm not saying she's a bad person - just that she has a bad trait. One I feel I understand, because I want to be admired and respected. But you have to temper that with a willingness to earn that and with a willingness to be disagreed with and disliked. I tend to earn a good batch of admiration, respect, dislike, and disgust. That's life.