Tres annoyed.

[conuly]

We've all seen this, right?

Well, somebody posted it in asperger. And I replied, pointing out things I thought were useful (noticing when your kid is likely to go into meltdown is a Good Thing, for example), the ones I thought were tragically misguided (not every autistic person is visually oriented, and pretending that this is the case is damaging to those who aren't, no matter how good your intentions), and, of course, commenting on the ones I thought were dead wrong (you know how I feel about person-first language, right?).

She deleted her post, didn't reply to me.

Okay, fine. That's her perogative.

What I didn't realize until today was that she followed this up by posting one of those "I'm leaving!!!!" posts afterwards. I really hate those. In the course of this post, she called us sour, judgmental, intolerant, angry at the world... well, she called me that, I suppose. Whatever. That's pretty much par for the course with these posts, so, while I'm irked, and perfectly willing to argue with her (hey, I might as well get some use out of this nasty mood... that's probably a bad sign, come to think of it) I'm not especially upset.

But then she tells me that I was unnecessarily rude in my reply to her, and that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all.

WTF?

She's nice, but I'm horribly rude (and judgmental, and sour, and angry at the world, and a host of other bad things)?

See, now I'm actually pissed.

Comments

[allassein.livejournal.com]

Ah, I was wondering what was up with that omg ur meen im leeving post. (Pardon the leet sarcasm.)

In the time I've read you in communities and at your lj, I have never known you to be any of those things. Well, maybe angry at the world on occasion, but I don't consider that negative or unreasonable.

And of course I disagree with the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule being a universally good idea. Especially in places that I think are suited for discussion, rather than simple back-patting and many posts all consisting of one word. ("Word!")

[conuly]

Well, I'll step up and say I might have been a bit more... emphatic than strictly necessary. But I wasn't as rude or sour as I've been made out to be.

[allassein.livejournal.com]

But an emphatic and not entirely agreeing response from someone is not, in my opinion, a good reason to delete a post and leave a community.

[conuly]

If she'd done that, that'd be fine.