I rarely have this complaint, quite the opposite, in fact

[conuly]

So you know it's serious when I say it: You, anonymous author, would do well to purchase a thesaurus and learn how to use it.

In particular, if you are not a bigot - and I must admit that you don't seem to be - you would be well-served to banish the word "homosexual" from your vocabulary entirely. Try "gay". At any rate, even if you're talking about LGBT issues, neither word should appear more than six times in a five sentence paragraph. That's not the only example of limited vocabulary here, but it's by far the most egregious.

(Of course, this is all a symptom of a bigger problem, which is a noted tendency to repeat ideas and infodrop. The books are cheap, at least, probably because nobody sprung for an editor or even provided coffee for a beta reader.)

Comments

[ioplokon]

omg you need to share it. I like, genuinely cannot fathom how this happened? Like, "the homosexual went to meet up with other homosexuals at a bar known for its homosexual activities"?

[conuly]

I don't want to risk outing what terrible prose I've been reading, but it's more "She wondered if he might be homosexual. Homosexuals, as you know, had a hard time in this world, far worse than in her own world she came from. She had once known a boy who came out as homosexual, and everybody treated him badly, like they thought homosexuality might be catching."

JUST. SAY. GAY.

Or better yet, don't, because once was enough for this thought process.

[kengr]

in her own world she came from

Ecccchhh.

Such butchery of the English language.

[conuly]

That wasn't an exact quote, mind.

[fox]

Also, though I don’t know if this is an issue in the thing you’re reading (but one does have suspicions), both those words are adjectives and not nouns.

[conuly]

One is right to be suspicious.

[jessie_c]

I wonder whether the Author used the American Family Association's autocorrect software?

[conuly]

Eesh.

[greghousesgf]

for fuck's sake....

[silveradept]

That sounds very much like someone needs some additional help with their word choices. A lot of additional help.

[conuly]

The word choices are a symptom of a much bigger problem, I'm afraid.

[silveradept]

I had a suspicion that might be the case. Are we sure it's a human and not a neural net attempting to write a story?

[conuly]

Mmm. His prose is awful, and his characterization needs a little work. (I'm forgiving the lack of worldbuilding because I suspect we're not supposed to take it overly seriously.) However, credit where it's due and the reason I've read these books, his ability to hold together an interesting plot is much better than a baby neural net could do.

[silveradept]

Ah. So it's someone who needs encouragement to improve on the things that need improving and to keep the things that are going well, going well.