Summer session's almost over!

[conuly]

Time to celebrate... with bad jokes!

Post your worst jokes here. Bad puns, questionable taste, terrible punchlines... it's a bad joke day.

I'll start.

Dracula is walking down the street, when he gets attacked by a falling pile of sandwich meats, bread, and fruit. Finally, he's impaled on a toothpick. Before he dies, he screams

"OH NO! It's buffet, the vampire slayer!"

See what I mean? Really bad jokes.

I can do better worse.

Do you know why it's called Staten Island?
Because when Henry Hudson was sailing, and he saw it, he said

"Is dat an island?"

Okay. I'm done. For now.

Comments

[neurotica0.livejournal.com]

Heeheehee.
I knew the punchline to the second one, but not the first one.

Hmmm, bad jokes...let me think. These jokes might even be bad at being bad. Or something.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon?
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POP!

Ok, and the only other bad jokes I can think of off the top of my head are in such poor taste that I can't even repeat them. So, I leave you with just the lame porcupine joke.

[conuly]

Oh, god, that's as bad as "what's purple and eats people?"









A purple people eater!

[neurotica0.livejournal.com]

Yep, it is pretty bad.
I thought it was funny when I was 5, because I was 5!

I'm sure that you will see the other two jokes I was able to think of. I don't know. I depends on how much tact your friends list has. I, personally, hate hearing way-off-color jokes, but the ones I am thinking of seem to be irresistible to some people.

[conuly]

Please don't say one is the cake joke. If I never hear that joke again, it'll be too soon.

[neurotica0.livejournal.com]

No.
I don't know any cake jokes.
Now you have to tell me.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

a mom and her daughter were taking a walk. they came upon two rabbits having sex. "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?"
the mother says "they're making cake". so they continue walking and come upon two cats having sex. "mommy, mommy, what are "THEY" doing?" and the mother says..."they're making cake." so the continue walking til they get home, and see two dags having sex. "mommy mommy! what are THEY doing??" and the mother says, "they're making cake."

So the go home, shower, and go to bed. the next day, the little girls parents are having sex on the couch while she is at school. before she comes home, the move to the bedroom. The girl come home, does her homework, eats a snack, and sits on the couch to watch tv. when her parents emerge from the bedroom she say. "mommy, i know you guys were making cake!" her mother asks, "how do you know that honey?" and the little girl replies...
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"i licked all the frosting off the couch!"

[neurotica0.livejournal.com]

Oh...just ewww.
But, yes, I have heard that one before. I just have a terrible memory for jokes I guess. [Actually the way I heard it, the father was having sex with the babysitter.]

If conuly was never wanting to hear that joke again, it's probably a good thing that I opted not to tell the two way-off-color jokes that I know.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

yep probably.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

i get a kick out of seeing people faces when i tell that one. it makes them cringe at first, and it cracks me up.

[conuly]

I've nothing against dirty jokes, I'm just sick of THAT one. Which she first told at the dinner table. In front of my mother.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

so, connie. a mom and her daughther were walking down the block...sorry. now i have to actually type it out for your friend who asked. :)