Summer session's almost over!
Aug. 19th, 2004 12:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
Time to celebrate... with bad jokes!
Post your worst jokes here. Bad puns, questionable taste, terrible punchlines... it's a bad joke day.
I'll start.
Dracula is walking down the street, when he gets attacked by a falling pile of sandwich meats, bread, and fruit. Finally, he's impaled on a toothpick. Before he dies, he screams
"OH NO! It's buffet, the vampire slayer!"
See what I mean? Really bad jokes.
I can dobetter worse.
Do you know why it's called Staten Island?
Because when Henry Hudson was sailing, and he saw it, he said
"Is dat an island?"
Okay. I'm done. For now.
Post your worst jokes here. Bad puns, questionable taste, terrible punchlines... it's a bad joke day.
I'll start.
Dracula is walking down the street, when he gets attacked by a falling pile of sandwich meats, bread, and fruit. Finally, he's impaled on a toothpick. Before he dies, he screams
"OH NO! It's buffet, the vampire slayer!"
See what I mean? Really bad jokes.
I can do
Do you know why it's called Staten Island?
Because when Henry Hudson was sailing, and he saw it, he said
"Is dat an island?"
Okay. I'm done. For now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
I first heard this one from my then-fiancee:
Date: 2004-08-19 01:47 pm (UTC)"This is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect my lady, the Queen, when I'm on a long quest?"
"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt, whereupon, a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" said the grateful monarch. "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected."
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon a lengthy Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot.
Immediately he assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.
"Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "You are my one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours."
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless.
When he finished telling it, the other students in the student lounge hurled empty pop bottles and other trash at him.
Re: I first heard this one from my then-fiancee:
Date: 2004-08-19 05:25 pm (UTC)