I cleaned out a few cabinets the other day

[conuly]

In the process, I found a box of condoms. After confirming that they are unexpired, I went and passed them back to my sister so she can use them (or not) before they DO expire.

Actually, I tossed the box at her and accidentally hit her in the forehead, thus causing me to suffer the wrath of Jenn. "Why would you do that???" The fact that she is always throwing random shit at me apparently is not worth mentioning. So I won't mention it. Even though she does it all the time.

Anyway, I digress. The nieces have no school today (L'Shana Tova, all of you!) and have been amusing themselves by making costumes and giving themselves tattoos with markers. I've been making lunch, eating lunch, and checking movie times. All of a sudden, in runs Evangeline, braids a-flutter.

"Connie, Connie! Who's getting married?"
"Um... nobody as far as I know...?"
"Then why does Mommy have this box of condos?"
Me: I found them while cleaning and gave them back to her.
Eva: But she's having... sex???
Me: Um... listen, guys, you don't have to be married to have sex. You know that, right?
Eva: Oh, okay. Ana! Mommy's going to have a baby!
Me: No, she's not! People use condoms to NOT have babies! (This conversation was getting wildly out of hand, clearly.)
Ana: Wait. Mommy's... having sex?
Me: *sigh* She's an adult.
Ana: But... she has sex???
Me: Well, lots of adults have sex! It's normal for adults!
Ana: Excuse me. *runs to bathroom and pretends to throw up, which is, of course, normal for nine year olds*

Comments

[l33tminion]

Converstaions like that always remind me of this comic.

[sayga.livejournal.com]

OMG, what a funny and strange conversation. I have had conversations like that where I can tell they're getting out of hand but I believe in discussing it, age appropriately, with the kids rather than refusing to answer their questions. Like when Kira asked me what "loose women" were. I hemmed and hawed and finally decided to be truthful, and she was apalled that the answer had anything to do with sex.

I CANNOT get it through my kids' heads that you don't have to be married to have sex or have a baby either. It's like, I explain it, and they just don't believe me or something. It doesn't sink in somehow. Maybe because we are married, and most of their friends have parents who are married, they just don't believe it, but I'm sure some of their friends have parents who are not married, or who are divorced, or living with a significant other, but the friends don't talk about that much, at least, I'd guess they don't. Or, babies are babies and the kids and their friends are NOT babies, and therefore it doesn't matter where their friends came from because they ARE NOT BABIES. Kids' brains are weird.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well, all I can think of is

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75sslumber.phtml

(Tried to find it on youtube... remakes just don't do it. God, I miss Gilda.)

[pne.livejournal.com]

So much for assumptions; I assumed that Jenn and 'dul were married. (And I further assume that he is Eva’s and Ana’s father.)

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

They were, he is.