And more on my holiday!

[conuly]

So, now, my mother actively dislikes holidays. Oh, she won't ever admit to it, but you can tell because she becomes a raging bitch as the holiday approaches. Used to really upset me until I figured it out, and Jenn still doesn't always seem to get it, she'll argue with my mother about it. (The bookcases, this year. The damn bookcases. It would have been better to get them and put them up without telling my mother, but now that we've told her, does Jennifer *have* to bring it up on Christmas Eve? I spent two hours making sure my mother stayed calm so she didn't do anything rash like start trying to lug boxes of books up and throw them into the street or burn them or whatever because "she doesn't want bookcases". She's gonna have to suck it up and deal, we NEED bookcases, but surely we could wait to move on this until after Little Christmas, or at least New Year!) Mother's Day, Christmas Day, Arbor Day - she doesn't care, she doesn't like it. They make her cranky and irritable and bitchy, and when she's in a bad mood she's not happy until we're ALL in a bad mood, so that's no fun.

So Christmas Eve I spent wrapping up the presents my mother had bought ("Don't bother! Throw them out! I'm not DOING Christmas, I know I'm not welcome, I'll just go to Connecticut!") for her, and making sure we saved enough food from dinner for her (I told Jenn she'd be back halfway through dinner after she stormed out, just so she could stand around and complain that we didn't save enough and hadn't set a place for her, and sure enough that's exactly what she did, while - in a neat trick! - also whining that she wasn't really hungry and she might as well go starve) and convincing her that throwing out books was a VERY bad idea because there was certainly not going to be any pickup on Christmas Day, even if Thursday is garbage night.

Fun.

And of course, on Christmas itself, it was "Gosh, I can't give gifts, they're not wrapped". Uh, no, Mommy, I did that for you. Remember, back when you were bitching and moaning that you weren't gonna do Christmas? Aren't you glad I ignored you?

Comments

[sayga.livejournal.com]

Your mom is kind of a nut. So is mine. :) Keeps things interesting anyway.

[conuly]

Now that I've learned to ignore her, sure. She's getting better the more I ignore her (just like a toddler, but never let her know I said that), but Jenn needs to learn to start ignoring her too.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Holidays, especially December ones are hard on many people. One of the little sad notes for this time of year is that it is also peak suicide time.

I'm sorry your mom takes out her issues on the rest of the family, but it does sound like you are coping with it fairly well.

I also get irritable around many holidays and my birthday. The latter mainly because it has so many negative associations and brings up so many bad memories. The former mainly because I dislike so much of the culture that happens, plus people sometimes put up blinking lights (aka, torture-me devices). Although I think I'm getting better at coping with blinking lights over time.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

oh boy, sounds like your mom has some holiday-related trauma. It's amazing how many people get stressed out at this time of year, especially if they feel like they are "supposed" to make everything perfect for their family and don't feel up to the task. Sadly, I think your mother's passive-aggressive-- and perhaps regressive-- behavior is pretty common for adults under stress. Gets me wondering why people ever tell us to act like adults, you know?