Can I share a pet peeve with you?

[conuly]

Of course I can, it's my journal :)

Lemme just share one thing people do with their kids that pisses me off.

I see this with some of Ana's friends, and every time it scares me, too, which is why it upsets me at all. People who let their kids just wander off wherever.

I'm not talking about people who try to stop their kids from wandering/running off, but it still happens. Or about people who have one very young child, and they follow the kid rather than trying to keep him/her contained.

I'm talking about people whose kids don't even understand that they shouldn't wander, and who never get told otherwise. One of Ana's friends, she and her younger sister wander and run off from their mom all the time. I'm at the museum, and I'm constantly seeing one of these kids sans mom, and their mother and sister don't show up for another minute because either the kid had run off, and mom had to pack up everything and follow, or the *other* kid had run off and mom was chasing her, or, occasionally, *both* kids had wandered, in different directions.

And I can see the two-year-old doing this... but at four? And a half? That's gotta stop. And I know the kid understands about not wandering, because when I've been roped into watching her so her younger sister could be rounded up, and she's started to go from one area to another without asking first, and I tell her not to - she stays put!

So, on Thursday ("today"), the inevitable happened and they lost the younger child. Not, y'know, permanently - but she was down in the basement and we were up on the third floor and while I was watching the older one... turns out mom didn't even realize the girl was in my care. She thought another friend of hers was watching the kid, but they didn't know they were supposed to be. I mean, they certainly didn't go up to me and say "Oh, by the way, we'll be taking her now for you". And while the younger one is wandering up and down the museum, I had to chase her sister down all over the third floor and finally threaten her with a time-out to make her stay where I could see her. (Not that I had the authority, but, eh, circumstances were odd.) (And after that, she stayed beautifully where I could see her, though she wasn't happy about it, kept giving me deathglares. Soon as her mom came back, she gave me one last glare and ran in the opposite direction, because her mom would let her do it.)

I like these kids, too, and I like their mom... but man, it scares me. It's bad enough they both of them like to go wherever, some kids are just like that - but it occurs to me that it didn't take long to (mostly) cure Ana of this affliction, and it just seems like a safety issue to me (and that even if it took longer to cure these kids of it, the effort should still be put in). Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. I certainly don't know everything going on with everybody, but... *shrugs*

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Oh wow that would scare the SHIT outta me.

When K was a newborn I almost forgot her at my mom's house, we were loading up the car and I had the car seat on the stoop, and then walked into the car and mom was 'um you forgot something' (and I was 26 when I had her) but other than that I try to keep up with them. F got lost on the beach for what was the longest 5 minutes in my life. T of course is my biggest fear not just for the lack of talking but because if you call his name, he won't answer/come to me all the time. So he is never EVER out of my sight when outside.

And I have a mantra in my head when we are all out: 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3 and sometimes I will have two with me and I'll be one, two, oh yeah K is with her friends. And when they gave me and D a gruop on the class trip, we were given 5 kids and I was like 'no problem, it's just 2 extra'.

Point is I am hyperaware of my children, more so given T's past of wanting to wander or leave the house (I sleep in the dining room, not upstairs, to watch the door)but even before he was born, it was just how things were.

(And considering honestly what a lazy and irresponsible and flighty person I am, it shouldn't be that hard.)

[conuly]

So he is never EVER out of my sight when outside.

A rule people should follow more often with kids who can reasonably be expected to wander off.

And I have a mantra in my head when we are all out: 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

*laughs*

I go out, I'm constantly turning and pointing... "Okay... here's Ana. And there's the baby. And there's the kid we're playing with. And there's... hey... Where's that kid's sister! I should ask her mom, just to make sure somebody can see that kid!"

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

I think I might have posted a few times griping about the new neighbors across the street that moved in last year? Well, you just named the scariest thing -- they have what my mother says is a kid between 1 and 2 years old...and HE wanders off alone.

As in "after toys, into the street, where sometimes cars come rocketing through at 50mph because we're a convenient shortcut between two main roads" wandering off. Oh, sometimes it's from right in front/back of a parked car, so nobody driving down the road could see him if they tried.

Usually it's because the dad was stuck with him and turned away to jabber on his cellphone or went in the backyard, but sometimes it's the mother being too busy doing things. It's just a matter of time, unless the kid is REALLY lucky, before he gets hit by a car at this rate. (Unless they lose custody to CPS, which with the other red flags doesn't seem too unlikely.)

[conuly]

Elise's parents! That was them! Kid would just leave the house at the age of three, and her parents didn't worry about it. And we're in between *three* busy streets. We don't get much traffic, but what we do get zooms right down our street, because they're breaking the law by trying to beat the light, so they might as well break the law by speeding as well.

And I'll be fair, some kids do just wander off. Sometimes, it happens. But if you know your kid is likely to do that, shouldn't you take precautions to make sure you know where they are (or at least, can find them really easily when they go)?

And it is scary. It's scary just *knowing* kids like that, or knowing parents like that. The combination is really bad.

[ser-kai.livejournal.com]

I cannot understand parents like that.

[conuly]

In the short run, it must be easier to just let them, or to go with them when they wander, or bring them back. In the long run, though, it's *bound* to be easier to tell them they can't do that, that doing so will get them taken home or time-outted or whatever.

[ser-kai.livejournal.com]

Yeah but it's so dangerous! When Brad was little(& pre-verbal), as soon as I was doing anything but directly watching him, he used to be able to undo both front door locks and turn the handle(despite the childproof thingy I had on it- you know how good auties can be at things like that). He'd run out in the middle of the road (thank Gods it wasn't a busy one at all)and I'd be chasing him. It used to scare me silly. Eventually, I trained him out of it. I can't understand a parent just letting a kid do it at all. It just takes one car or one perverted stranger and you could have a tragedy.

Shit happens.

[conuly]

Yeah but it's so dangerous!

Of course it is, that's why it pisses me off when I see people who let their kids do this.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

Hey, Seth managed to get away from me, 'dul, jenn, AND elise at the beach last week. Those four year old things can be FAST! He was seriously AWAY from everyone when we ALL looked up together and wandered.

And then Ana wandered the other way, but I caught her out of the corner of my eye, and her dad went and fetched her (after he had fetched seth from the PIER thing near where we were when he wandered!)

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Oh wow that would scare the SHIT outta me.

When K was a newborn I almost forgot her at my mom's house, we were loading up the car and I had the car seat on the stoop, and then walked into the car and mom was 'um you forgot something' (and I was 26 when I had her) but other than that I try to keep up with them. F got lost on the beach for what was the longest 5 minutes in my life. T of course is my biggest fear not just for the lack of talking but because if you call his name, he won't answer/come to me all the time. So he is never EVER out of my sight when outside.

And I have a mantra in my head when we are all out: 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3 and sometimes I will have two with me and I'll be one, two, oh yeah K is with her friends. And when they gave me and D a gruop on the class trip, we were given 5 kids and I was like 'no problem, it's just 2 extra'.

Point is I am hyperaware of my children, more so given T's past of wanting to wander or leave the house (I sleep in the dining room, not upstairs, to watch the door)but even before he was born, it was just how things were.

(And considering honestly what a lazy and irresponsible and flighty person I am, it shouldn't be that hard.)

[conuly]

So he is never EVER out of my sight when outside.

A rule people should follow more often with kids who can reasonably be expected to wander off.

And I have a mantra in my head when we are all out: 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

*laughs*

I go out, I'm constantly turning and pointing... "Okay... here's Ana. And there's the baby. And there's the kid we're playing with. And there's... hey... Where's that kid's sister! I should ask her mom, just to make sure somebody can see that kid!"

[moggymania.livejournal.com]

I think I might have posted a few times griping about the new neighbors across the street that moved in last year? Well, you just named the scariest thing -- they have what my mother says is a kid between 1 and 2 years old...and HE wanders off alone.

As in "after toys, into the street, where sometimes cars come rocketing through at 50mph because we're a convenient shortcut between two main roads" wandering off. Oh, sometimes it's from right in front/back of a parked car, so nobody driving down the road could see him if they tried.

Usually it's because the dad was stuck with him and turned away to jabber on his cellphone or went in the backyard, but sometimes it's the mother being too busy doing things. It's just a matter of time, unless the kid is REALLY lucky, before he gets hit by a car at this rate. (Unless they lose custody to CPS, which with the other red flags doesn't seem too unlikely.)

[conuly]

Elise's parents! That was them! Kid would just leave the house at the age of three, and her parents didn't worry about it. And we're in between *three* busy streets. We don't get much traffic, but what we do get zooms right down our street, because they're breaking the law by trying to beat the light, so they might as well break the law by speeding as well.

And I'll be fair, some kids do just wander off. Sometimes, it happens. But if you know your kid is likely to do that, shouldn't you take precautions to make sure you know where they are (or at least, can find them really easily when they go)?

And it is scary. It's scary just *knowing* kids like that, or knowing parents like that. The combination is really bad.

[ser-kai.livejournal.com]

I cannot understand parents like that.

[conuly]

In the short run, it must be easier to just let them, or to go with them when they wander, or bring them back. In the long run, though, it's *bound* to be easier to tell them they can't do that, that doing so will get them taken home or time-outted or whatever.

[ser-kai.livejournal.com]

Yeah but it's so dangerous! When Brad was little(& pre-verbal), as soon as I was doing anything but directly watching him, he used to be able to undo both front door locks and turn the handle(despite the childproof thingy I had on it- you know how good auties can be at things like that). He'd run out in the middle of the road (thank Gods it wasn't a busy one at all)and I'd be chasing him. It used to scare me silly. Eventually, I trained him out of it. I can't understand a parent just letting a kid do it at all. It just takes one car or one perverted stranger and you could have a tragedy.

Shit happens.

[conuly]

Yeah but it's so dangerous!

Of course it is, that's why it pisses me off when I see people who let their kids do this.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

Hey, Seth managed to get away from me, 'dul, jenn, AND elise at the beach last week. Those four year old things can be FAST! He was seriously AWAY from everyone when we ALL looked up together and wandered.

And then Ana wandered the other way, but I caught her out of the corner of my eye, and her dad went and fetched her (after he had fetched seth from the PIER thing near where we were when he wandered!)