![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
Here's a quick summation, better than typing my own thoughts.
I think that one of the reasons people tend to abort disabled fetuses is that they don't know anything about how the kid could grow up, so they jump to terror scenarios.
No, I know that.
I don't, of course, know anything about what it's like to live with Downs Syndrome.
I do know, from paying attention, something about false expectations. There's a woman at the SICM who has Downs Syndrome. I pay attention - I see that she runs at least one program without extra supervision, I see that she goes to and from work by herself (she takes our bus) - my conclusion is that I should assume she can do something, until she says otherwise.
Other people, I don't know what they see. The other day, we were doing this woman's program (a drop-in arts-and-crafts bit), and she was sitting on the side making a chart. Somebody else asked what it was for, and she explained that she wanted to find out if she had more people come to the program today or yesterday. Basic school math problem stuff, y'know?
Program ends at 4:30, it was only about 2:00.
For some reason, the fact that J was already making a chart and clearly knew how to find the answer she wanted didn't even register with the third adult in the room. Instead, she asked how many had come so far, and how many had come yesterday, and assumed J didn't know which number was greater - "Well, you had more people yesterday!"
Luckily for me, I didn't have to hold my tongue - J explained, much more politely than I would have, that she wouldn't know which day had had more visitors until the program actually ended at 4:30. (She didn't explain that she knows how to count. She might not know how to tell if one number is greater than another. I don't know, I barely know the woman! But I'm going to guess that she does.)
(Not that there's anything wrong with having really bad math skills, but let's not just assume them for other people, 'k?)
This anecdote proves nothing, I know. But it's another one of those stories that's been swinging in my mind lately, and it very loosely ties in to current events, so here it is.
I think that one of the reasons people tend to abort disabled fetuses is that they don't know anything about how the kid could grow up, so they jump to terror scenarios.
No, I know that.
I don't, of course, know anything about what it's like to live with Downs Syndrome.
I do know, from paying attention, something about false expectations. There's a woman at the SICM who has Downs Syndrome. I pay attention - I see that she runs at least one program without extra supervision, I see that she goes to and from work by herself (she takes our bus) - my conclusion is that I should assume she can do something, until she says otherwise.
Other people, I don't know what they see. The other day, we were doing this woman's program (a drop-in arts-and-crafts bit), and she was sitting on the side making a chart. Somebody else asked what it was for, and she explained that she wanted to find out if she had more people come to the program today or yesterday. Basic school math problem stuff, y'know?
Program ends at 4:30, it was only about 2:00.
For some reason, the fact that J was already making a chart and clearly knew how to find the answer she wanted didn't even register with the third adult in the room. Instead, she asked how many had come so far, and how many had come yesterday, and assumed J didn't know which number was greater - "Well, you had more people yesterday!"
Luckily for me, I didn't have to hold my tongue - J explained, much more politely than I would have, that she wouldn't know which day had had more visitors until the program actually ended at 4:30. (She didn't explain that she knows how to count. She might not know how to tell if one number is greater than another. I don't know, I barely know the woman! But I'm going to guess that she does.)
(Not that there's anything wrong with having really bad math skills, but let's not just assume them for other people, 'k?)
This anecdote proves nothing, I know. But it's another one of those stories that's been swinging in my mind lately, and it very loosely ties in to current events, so here it is.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 01:31 am (UTC)Also, if I knew at least soon after birth what was up with Ted, then maybe we could have had early intervention and he'd have been better off. And people would be able to sign up for SSI and waivers and the like, earlier.
I had a similar thing happen where I made assumptions about a patient in the ER where I volunteered. I looked at the wrong chart, and one was someone with schizophrenia, the other not. And I treated each one differently, I think. And then after an hour or so, I realized I had them backwards. I was standoffish with the 'normal' one, and buddy buddy with the other. And to me, their personalities fit my assumptions.
I was much younger then, too, and a lot more naive. I would like to think I wouldn't make the same mistake again.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 01:50 am (UTC)Knowing you've already done it once can be a big help to not doing it again, I always find.
I'm still thinking your anecdote is pretty funny, though I guess you were more embarrassed when it happened.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 09:18 pm (UTC)My landlady's daughter has Down's Syndrome, and she just turned 30. She has a decent job, she has friends and social activities, she gets around town by herself on the bus and on foot - sure, she still lives with her family, but so do a lot of "perfectly normal people". The fact that she's got Down's Syndrome hasn't stopped her from becoming a functional adult, probably because her parents didn't automatically assume that it would.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 01:49 am (UTC)That's what I've always been told!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 02:01 am (UTC)Also, you left your keys here.
Please reply to this so I know you got the message, thanks!! :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 01:31 am (UTC)Also, if I knew at least soon after birth what was up with Ted, then maybe we could have had early intervention and he'd have been better off. And people would be able to sign up for SSI and waivers and the like, earlier.
I had a similar thing happen where I made assumptions about a patient in the ER where I volunteered. I looked at the wrong chart, and one was someone with schizophrenia, the other not. And I treated each one differently, I think. And then after an hour or so, I realized I had them backwards. I was standoffish with the 'normal' one, and buddy buddy with the other. And to me, their personalities fit my assumptions.
I was much younger then, too, and a lot more naive. I would like to think I wouldn't make the same mistake again.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 01:50 am (UTC)Knowing you've already done it once can be a big help to not doing it again, I always find.
I'm still thinking your anecdote is pretty funny, though I guess you were more embarrassed when it happened.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 09:18 pm (UTC)My landlady's daughter has Down's Syndrome, and she just turned 30. She has a decent job, she has friends and social activities, she gets around town by herself on the bus and on foot - sure, she still lives with her family, but so do a lot of "perfectly normal people". The fact that she's got Down's Syndrome hasn't stopped her from becoming a functional adult, probably because her parents didn't automatically assume that it would.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-06 01:49 am (UTC)That's what I've always been told!
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 02:01 am (UTC)Also, you left your keys here.
Please reply to this so I know you got the message, thanks!! :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-03 03:15 am (UTC)