Ana really is a grudge-holder.

[conuly]

Every day at the SICM, at 2:00, they have animal time. Generally, this means that they talk about the blind guinea pig (whom we very emphatically *do not* feel sorry for) and how she's a cousin to all sorts of animals, and then we feed said guinea pig. And then they talk about their sun conure and watch her do various tricks.

Ana was thrilled with this show, right up until the day Johanna (who runs the show) told her she could not, in fact, help out with the bird - well, of course she can't, birds bite. And they're small and easily crushed.

But Ana walked out of the audience that day, and since then has, at best, barely conceded to see it long enough to feed the guinea pig and walk out again. She's also been very cool towards Johanna, whom she used to adore.

She still likes Kimba - every time we see another sun conure, in books or at another museum or the zoo, she'll chatter excitedly all about "pretend Kimba!!!" and what "pretend Kimba!!!!" is doing, and she loves to talk to Kimba when she happens to see her around. But she doesn't much like talking to Johanna anymore, and she refuses to hang around for that part of animal time (when she deigns to watch at all, which is a pity, as the baby likes it).

And it's all because of that one show, three or four months ago. Did you read that? MONTHS.

I finally explained to Johanna Friday why this is, since I had some relative free time - she'd done the right thing of course, but it's starting to look like Ana's not going to forgive her until she gets a written apology for the correction. Which is, of course, never gonna happen.

Right now, her grudge-holding is annoying, but tolerable. I hope she outgrows it, though - I don't really want to see how she holds grudges as a teenager or young adult. I'm sure she'll start coming up with truly diabolical revenges by then, if she's still doing this.

Comments

[mortaine.livejournal.com]

How unfortunate. It sounds like Ana was supremely embarrassed, and hasn't figured out yet how to deal with that. I think it only took me about 19 years to figure out how to deal with such embarrassment.

[conuly]

That could also be it.

But seriously - the girl holds grudges. She once told me, a week after the fact, that she "wasn't mad at me anymore". I'd noticed she was a little surly during the week, but had attributed it to illness or somesuch.

But no - apparently, she was mad at me because Jenn had told her she was helping clean my house, and that meant she couldn't be with Mama all weekend. (Well, I understand her point of view, and sympathize - but she never even told me she was upset until she decided to forgive me! And her forgiveness came with a lecture, let me tell you. I had to listen to a lecture, both to earn her forgiveness and figure out what the heck I was being forgiven for! From a three year old! I shouldn't've done it, but then she'd probably still be holding that damn grudge.)

[leora.livejournal.com]

I still hold grudges. I have one from when I was about 2. I just don't do much about most of them, except feel annoyed from time to time when I think about them. Although I think the 2 year old one may have caused some problems throughout my childhood. But it was more a loss of trust than a grudge. But you can hold grudges and be okay... you just need to learn which things are worth it. She needs to develop her sense of right and wrong more so it's not a grudge just for not getting what she wanted, but because someone truly did something wrong. And that takes time.

[mortaine.livejournal.com]

How unfortunate. It sounds like Ana was supremely embarrassed, and hasn't figured out yet how to deal with that. I think it only took me about 19 years to figure out how to deal with such embarrassment.

[conuly]

That could also be it.

But seriously - the girl holds grudges. She once told me, a week after the fact, that she "wasn't mad at me anymore". I'd noticed she was a little surly during the week, but had attributed it to illness or somesuch.

But no - apparently, she was mad at me because Jenn had told her she was helping clean my house, and that meant she couldn't be with Mama all weekend. (Well, I understand her point of view, and sympathize - but she never even told me she was upset until she decided to forgive me! And her forgiveness came with a lecture, let me tell you. I had to listen to a lecture, both to earn her forgiveness and figure out what the heck I was being forgiven for! From a three year old! I shouldn't've done it, but then she'd probably still be holding that damn grudge.)

[leora.livejournal.com]

I still hold grudges. I have one from when I was about 2. I just don't do much about most of them, except feel annoyed from time to time when I think about them. Although I think the 2 year old one may have caused some problems throughout my childhood. But it was more a loss of trust than a grudge. But you can hold grudges and be okay... you just need to learn which things are worth it. She needs to develop her sense of right and wrong more so it's not a grudge just for not getting what she wanted, but because someone truly did something wrong. And that takes time.