conuly

glue traps.

So when I went upstairs to fetch an apple for Bonne-maman (when I'm in the basement, what I urgently need is always in the attic, and vice versa) I found a poor little guy, chin and all glued to the trap, squeaking in fear.

Really, I should've taken him down to show Jenn. If she had seen his suffering, she would not be so cavalier about torture, I can tell you!

But I didn't think that would be the right thing for the poor mousie, he was upset enough as it was (and wouldn't you be?) so I took him outside and used vegetable oil and a toothpick to free him. One minute he's all glued down, then his tail is freed and then the next thing either of us knew he was sitting upright looking as surprised as I was. And then he was off, not quite sure if I was about to pounce and kill him anyway. (I wasn't.)

Though he was all doused with vegetable oil on one side, and it's cold out, so I don't know if, on the whole, it might have been kinder to just take a knife to him inside and end it all. But I could not have just let them there, it would have been wrong.

So now I'm going to take my miserable little pay and go invest in some snap traps. I'm not entirely opposed to killing small furry animals, even the cute ones (though I'd rather remove them if possible, of course), but torture is one thing I cannot abide. For the obvious reasons.

I'm filing this one under "good deed for the day", and tomorrow I'll put out extra birdseed for the squirrel, I'm feeling that happy. (When we plant our garden this year I plan on putting in some birdfeeders (seed generously mixed with pepper) and some squirrel feeders as well (no pepper!), so that's all right. But while I'm reading a lot about bird diets, I can't find out much about proper squirrel diets other than "early spring is the hardest time" (that's why I'm putting out extra birdseed for 'em) and "peanuts and sunflower seeds are lacking in essential nutrients" and "if you find a baby squirrel, take it to a licensed rehabilitator and for god's sake don't give it cow milk", which isn't useful.)

1. You. Across the street. Yeah, you.

Listen, your dog? It's a puppy, maybe three months by the look of it. Maybe.

And maybe you haven't read the memo yet, but let me just assure you that the "walk" concept is decidedly misnamed. It's not about walking, it's about playing around and eventually pottying.

Especially for puppies.

So please. Stop dragging your dog the way you do. Watching his collar pull at him like that is literally painful, and I can only imagine how he feels. I see it again, and I'm telling you to your face instead of online like this. That's just not cool.

Poor dog.

2. YOU. Down the block!

You've got the opposite problem! Your dog is not that responsible! Stop letting him out by himself! Walk him, on a leash, and pick up his shit.

Because the next time I find your dog's shit, it's going on your porch; and the next time I find your dog I'm taking it right over to the nearest animal shelter where, hopefully, it can be adopted by people who care. I can take the collar off, that's no problem.

Thanks very much.