So, another Ana-update...

[conuly]

A cute story or two, and then another thing I need help with....

1. Ana is cute. Evie is cute. Ana's talking is cute. Evie's "ah-goo"ing is cute. Ana sitting next to her baby sister and carefully pointing out "your eye. Your other eye. Nose. This your nose!" while her sister grins is beyond adorable.

2. Ana's started sometimes calling her mother "Mama" instead of "Mommy". I'm sure she picked that up from her favoritest book ever, "In the Night Kitchen" (which we read at least once a day). I think this is cute, and it will limit the confusion between her Mommy and MY Mommy, or between the words "Connie" and "Mommy". My mother thinks this is cute, and will make life easier in crowded playgrounds. My sister is not convinced. She answers to Mama, though, so I don't know why she gets on our case for encouraging the child.

Onto the request for help.

I'm becoming concerned about Ana's hearing. I started noticing this problem when the baby was born - she's covering her ears a lot for sounds which, logically, shouldn't be loud. She's also getting very upset now if I raise my voice, or appear to, for any reason. "Connie? Don't yell please, okay?"

At first, I thought, since I saw this happening after the baby was born, that it was a reaction to the baby - we're everlastingly telling her to use her indoor voice because "the baby is sleeping".

However, in retrospect, it occurs to me that she was already starting to do that before the baby was born. I remember clearly thinking it was a phase when she was doing this in the summer.

Mind, of course, she doesn't mind all loud things - she's certainly loud enough herself, and she tolerates that fine.

I've also noticed that after switching to taking the S53 and transfering to the S44 to get to the museum (instead of taking the S74 and transfering to the S40), her waiting for the first bus has gotten... boring. Instead of walking, looking at things, talking, she'll sit curled up and quiet. I'm thinking this is because the bus stop is much noisier than the other one - it's right by the expressway. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out, but that's exactly what I do when things are too loud for me - I tune it all out, don't hear anything (if that's possible - less now than when I was a kid), and ignore the world.

I had already been thinking that I needed to pay more attention to this after what happened at the museum last time we were there. Ana, at home, loves to flush the toilet. What kid doesn't? The toilet at home isn't very strong, so it's not very loud. She's flushed the museum toilets before, so she knows they're louder. She'd just gotten off the toilet and moved to flush it when she pulled her hand away, retreated as far from it as she could get without actually leaving the stall (we were using the handicapped stall because that's the one with the changing table - I can't put her diapers on with her standing up, I don't apparently have that kind of coordination), covers her hears, and tells me to flush the toilet. In the normal course of things, having me flush the toilet is unheard of. She even wants to flush it when she wasn't the one who used it! And while I know that it's normal for children to be frightened by unexpected sounds, or sounds they don't understand where they're coming from, I thought most children were fine with sounds they knew the cause of...?

Thing is, I don't know what's normal. My hearing is so strange that I'm not possibly an unbiased judge, and I really *don't* know that much about normal hearing for children.

This all came to a head today, though, at Michelle's house. Deniz (her elder daughter, four years old) had pulled out her ukelele to play on. Ana and all had been running and giggling all around, but when Ana saw this and figured out that it might make noise, she curled up into her Nanen and frowned and covered her ears. She thought it might make noise, and it might be loud, so she covered her ears. She's been doing that. I knew it probably wouldn't be that loud, and I leaned over and told her so - "Sweetie? I don't think this is going to be very loud. You don't have to cover your ears." Both Michelle and my mom thought this was strange, and said so.

Obviously, whether her hearing is too sensitive, normal, or even not sensitive enough (this I doubt), Ana's the one who's going to have to learn to deal with it. We all do.

My hearing is very sensitive. I can often hear things that others can't, at least when it comes to decibal level. I can't talk about frequency, so I don't know if my hearing is normal in that respect or not. I do have trouble with filtering sound - I used to be able to block off my sense of hearing almost entirely by focusing on something else. However, if I could hear something, I could hear everything else - this is still true. I can't hear somebody talking next to me without at the same time being aware of the rain, the train doors closing in the station, the TV that's on, the people in the next room talking. My mother apparently had her suspicions about that from my childhood and did her best to focus me on music on the theory that this'd be helpful. Don't know if it was or not.

I don't know how well Ana can filter out sounds. I do know that whether she can do so well or not, it's not easy living with a loud world :) I've honestly lived as I do for my whole life - I haven't even ever tried out earplugs because I figure "Eh, my hearing isn't *that* annoying that it's worth spending money on (I'll say that about anything if the money can go for a new book)".

No matter how Ana's hearing is, it's clear sounds are bothering her. Right now, she doesn't know how to deal with that other than covering her ears, which is a stopgap solution at best. I want to know what other people do to deal with noise, because my normal method (a. suffer through it while plotting everybody's death/reading a VERY engrossing book or b. leave, fast or c. suffer through it to a point, then suffer massively from the sensory overload because that wasn't really a clever thing to do) probably won't work for her. I'm not sure it even works for *me*, but at least I'm responsible enough to know that.

Comments

[kayt-arminta.livejournal.com]

I read and listen to a walkman at the same time... though I think that only works on my anxiety attack part. I hear less... individual things. Just the music, and the book helps me drown out that one thing, so I'm all nice and comfy.

[leora.livejournal.com]

It could be her hearing, which could be tested for. But I'd be more worried about attention... filtering... When I get pained or overwhelmed by sounds, it's usually not because the sounds themselves are that bad, but because at that time, my brain just can't bear to handle them (with the exception of vibratey sounds I can feel... very low sounds can just plain hurt, but covering my ears won't help with that).

However, I don't know much that can be done for that other than avoidance. Although I would consider getting her ear plugs that she can use when she wishes to. I know many people who sleep with ear plugs, because it's just too difficult for them to otherwise.

The behavior does not sound typical. And it doesn't sound like a social issue or any sort of irrational fear, it really sounds like these things are unpleasant for her.

[conuly]

The behavior does not sound typical. And it doesn't sound like a social issue or any sort of irrational fear, it really sounds like these things are unpleasant for her.

Yeah, I figured that one out. Ugh, and I do the same things! Stupid of me to take so long to realize what's going on.

Like when the ear-covering started, I remember I'd taught her to do that in situations I think really are probably too loud, like when the train comes in, because that's what *I* do as I think it's really bad for my hearing. And when she did it in other situations, I figured it was, to her, a lot like waving bye-bye or blowing a kiss - just one of those weird things grown-ups like you to do. I'm so used to thinking of my hearing as weird that I didn't want to think that she was picking up more than just some surface habits.

Although I would consider getting her ear plugs that she can use when she wishes to.

I haven't invested in ear plugs of my own. However, I know already that if you use them too much, you acclimate and things with the ear plugs are as bad as before, but without them they're worse. I'm not sure she can understand that concept, though.

And of course she's not sensitive to every type of noise. She doesn't seem to mind, for example, the sound of the incessant construction outside her house, even when it has ceased for a short time and started up again. And as I said, she doesn't mind her own yelling, nor (to an extent) the yelling of her friends. But I have that same type of problem - I can't stand to have the TV on that I can hear it in another room, but I love the sound of fireworks when I'm near them, even the whiny ones. You'd think the softer noise would be less annoying, but it's not.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

All I really have to compare with is my son. For him, it didn't seem to be the volume so much as the pitch or type of noise. He used to hate mechanically reproduced speech unless he could see what was going on (tv was great, radio was awful). He's still not thrilled by loud noises or high-pitched ones.

For what it's worth, he grew out of it to some extent. Ana may do the same.

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

I can't stand to have the TV on that I can hear it in another room

I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way! My hearing is weird, though. I'm extremely sensitive to loud noise, and I'm happiest when the house is totally silent -- yet I often have trouble getting what people are saying. It often sounds like they're mumbling. I do have ADHD, so it could be an attentional thing.

But I finally did start carrying earplugs with me. When I go to a coffeehouse to hear a band, I'd be the only one with my hands over my ears -- no one else ever seems to be bothered. (And it's not just that they're not showing it. I've asked many people over the years, and they don't ever seem to have a problem with the volume.) I'm also sensitive to bright light that doesn't seem to bother other people, but sound is the worst -- I feel terribly overwhelmed by levels that other people find completely comfortable and normal.

I just checked a book out of the library called Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060195207/002-4023552-4716849?v=glance&n=283155). I haven't read it yet so I can't give you a recommendation one way or the other, but you might want to take a look at it.

[conuly]

Have you ever heard of CAPD? Central Auditory Processing Disorder. It sounds a lot like you describe yourself as experiencing.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

It could be a concern but some kids go thru wierd sensory things.

I know kids who hate loud noises -- that was my brother. We went to the movies when he was about six and he flipped out. And he was always covering his ears.

My middle son hates things that itch/scratch/feel funny. Tags, buttons, seams. Drive him nuts.

And my cousin would gag at any strong scent. Still does and he is in high school!

I wonder if picky eaters are just an extension of this all...

[conuly]

I wonder if picky eaters are just an extension of this all...

It can be - an aversion to certain tastes, smells, textures, or colors will definitely impair your ability to eat a variety of foods.

This sort of sensory problem runs in families, so it makes sense that Ana'd be like me in this respect.

Hrm

[adina77.livejournal.com]

I know I dont like loud sounds because my hearing aids amplifies it. Certain sounds hurts my ears as well. But the thing is Ana is hearing. Perhaps sensitive hearing? Eh, dont mind me, I am not feeling all that well.

[azarias.livejournal.com]

I had that same problem when I was little. Loud sounds, even sounds that other people didn't particularly mind, terrified me. I'm not entirely sure what it was ... I think I had a few tests done, but I don't remember exactly what, or any results. I do know that during standard hearing tests, the kind where they put a set of headphones on you and play beeps or buzzes in either ear, I'd get weird results: I'd indicate a noise when one hadn't been played, because I'd be listening to fluctuations in the static in the headphones. It took me a while to learn which noise I was supposed to be hearing and which the tester didn't care about.

As an adult, I can be driven into a panic attack by loud noise, but that's a nervous condition I've developed these last few years. I have no idea if it's linked to childhood oddness or not. I do know that I have filtering trouble, though not as much now as I had as a teen -- I sometimes have a hard time telling if someone is speaking actual words or just nonsense, and I get background and foreground noises muddled.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

AH! i knew seth's hearing went somewhere. Ana stole it! just kidding, don't kill me, but maybe the times you flipped out and ran away covering your ears around her? i doubt you've been doing thatlately, but you can't deny that you never have...she is pretty damn close to you...but, hey, what do i know. i'm an idiot, you knwo it, i know it. *gr* bye.

[conuly]

That's what I originally thought - that she was just mimicking that behaviour without understanding why I do that. And I did specifically teach her to do that in damaging situations.

But that wouldn't cause any of the rest of this.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

true. i do remember i am better equipped at dealing with the hearling loss impared child as opposed to the sensitive hearer. love ya. come visit. i'll have a three bedroom, and no husband, he's going to afghanistan is a month or so. come visit. bring girls, please?

[kayt-arminta.livejournal.com]

I read and listen to a walkman at the same time... though I think that only works on my anxiety attack part. I hear less... individual things. Just the music, and the book helps me drown out that one thing, so I'm all nice and comfy.

[leora.livejournal.com]

It could be her hearing, which could be tested for. But I'd be more worried about attention... filtering... When I get pained or overwhelmed by sounds, it's usually not because the sounds themselves are that bad, but because at that time, my brain just can't bear to handle them (with the exception of vibratey sounds I can feel... very low sounds can just plain hurt, but covering my ears won't help with that).

However, I don't know much that can be done for that other than avoidance. Although I would consider getting her ear plugs that she can use when she wishes to. I know many people who sleep with ear plugs, because it's just too difficult for them to otherwise.

The behavior does not sound typical. And it doesn't sound like a social issue or any sort of irrational fear, it really sounds like these things are unpleasant for her.

[conuly]

The behavior does not sound typical. And it doesn't sound like a social issue or any sort of irrational fear, it really sounds like these things are unpleasant for her.

Yeah, I figured that one out. Ugh, and I do the same things! Stupid of me to take so long to realize what's going on.

Like when the ear-covering started, I remember I'd taught her to do that in situations I think really are probably too loud, like when the train comes in, because that's what *I* do as I think it's really bad for my hearing. And when she did it in other situations, I figured it was, to her, a lot like waving bye-bye or blowing a kiss - just one of those weird things grown-ups like you to do. I'm so used to thinking of my hearing as weird that I didn't want to think that she was picking up more than just some surface habits.

Although I would consider getting her ear plugs that she can use when she wishes to.

I haven't invested in ear plugs of my own. However, I know already that if you use them too much, you acclimate and things with the ear plugs are as bad as before, but without them they're worse. I'm not sure she can understand that concept, though.

And of course she's not sensitive to every type of noise. She doesn't seem to mind, for example, the sound of the incessant construction outside her house, even when it has ceased for a short time and started up again. And as I said, she doesn't mind her own yelling, nor (to an extent) the yelling of her friends. But I have that same type of problem - I can't stand to have the TV on that I can hear it in another room, but I love the sound of fireworks when I'm near them, even the whiny ones. You'd think the softer noise would be less annoying, but it's not.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

All I really have to compare with is my son. For him, it didn't seem to be the volume so much as the pitch or type of noise. He used to hate mechanically reproduced speech unless he could see what was going on (tv was great, radio was awful). He's still not thrilled by loud noises or high-pitched ones.

For what it's worth, he grew out of it to some extent. Ana may do the same.

[sunnydale47.livejournal.com]

I can't stand to have the TV on that I can hear it in another room

I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way! My hearing is weird, though. I'm extremely sensitive to loud noise, and I'm happiest when the house is totally silent -- yet I often have trouble getting what people are saying. It often sounds like they're mumbling. I do have ADHD, so it could be an attentional thing.

But I finally did start carrying earplugs with me. When I go to a coffeehouse to hear a band, I'd be the only one with my hands over my ears -- no one else ever seems to be bothered. (And it's not just that they're not showing it. I've asked many people over the years, and they don't ever seem to have a problem with the volume.) I'm also sensitive to bright light that doesn't seem to bother other people, but sound is the worst -- I feel terribly overwhelmed by levels that other people find completely comfortable and normal.

I just checked a book out of the library called Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060195207/002-4023552-4716849?v=glance&n=283155). I haven't read it yet so I can't give you a recommendation one way or the other, but you might want to take a look at it.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

It could be a concern but some kids go thru wierd sensory things.

I know kids who hate loud noises -- that was my brother. We went to the movies when he was about six and he flipped out. And he was always covering his ears.

My middle son hates things that itch/scratch/feel funny. Tags, buttons, seams. Drive him nuts.

And my cousin would gag at any strong scent. Still does and he is in high school!

I wonder if picky eaters are just an extension of this all...

[conuly]

I wonder if picky eaters are just an extension of this all...

It can be - an aversion to certain tastes, smells, textures, or colors will definitely impair your ability to eat a variety of foods.

This sort of sensory problem runs in families, so it makes sense that Ana'd be like me in this respect.

Hrm

[adina77.livejournal.com]

I know I dont like loud sounds because my hearing aids amplifies it. Certain sounds hurts my ears as well. But the thing is Ana is hearing. Perhaps sensitive hearing? Eh, dont mind me, I am not feeling all that well.

[azarias.livejournal.com]

I had that same problem when I was little. Loud sounds, even sounds that other people didn't particularly mind, terrified me. I'm not entirely sure what it was ... I think I had a few tests done, but I don't remember exactly what, or any results. I do know that during standard hearing tests, the kind where they put a set of headphones on you and play beeps or buzzes in either ear, I'd get weird results: I'd indicate a noise when one hadn't been played, because I'd be listening to fluctuations in the static in the headphones. It took me a while to learn which noise I was supposed to be hearing and which the tester didn't care about.

As an adult, I can be driven into a panic attack by loud noise, but that's a nervous condition I've developed these last few years. I have no idea if it's linked to childhood oddness or not. I do know that I have filtering trouble, though not as much now as I had as a teen -- I sometimes have a hard time telling if someone is speaking actual words or just nonsense, and I get background and foreground noises muddled.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

AH! i knew seth's hearing went somewhere. Ana stole it! just kidding, don't kill me, but maybe the times you flipped out and ran away covering your ears around her? i doubt you've been doing thatlately, but you can't deny that you never have...she is pretty damn close to you...but, hey, what do i know. i'm an idiot, you knwo it, i know it. *gr* bye.

[conuly]

That's what I originally thought - that she was just mimicking that behaviour without understanding why I do that. And I did specifically teach her to do that in damaging situations.

But that wouldn't cause any of the rest of this.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

true. i do remember i am better equipped at dealing with the hearling loss impared child as opposed to the sensitive hearer. love ya. come visit. i'll have a three bedroom, and no husband, he's going to afghanistan is a month or so. come visit. bring girls, please?