So, another Ana-update...
Jan. 2nd, 2006 11:31 pmA cute story or two, and then another thing I need help with....
1. Ana is cute. Evie is cute. Ana's talking is cute. Evie's "ah-goo"ing is cute. Ana sitting next to her baby sister and carefully pointing out "your eye. Your other eye. Nose. This your nose!" while her sister grins is beyond adorable.
2. Ana's started sometimes calling her mother "Mama" instead of "Mommy". I'm sure she picked that up from her favoritest book ever, "In the Night Kitchen" (which we read at least once a day). I think this is cute, and it will limit the confusion between her Mommy and MY Mommy, or between the words "Connie" and "Mommy". My mother thinks this is cute, and will make life easier in crowded playgrounds. My sister is not convinced. She answers to Mama, though, so I don't know why she gets on our case for encouraging the child.
Onto the request for help.
I'm becoming concerned about Ana's hearing. I started noticing this problem when the baby was born - she's covering her ears a lot for sounds which, logically, shouldn't be loud. She's also getting very upset now if I raise my voice, or appear to, for any reason. "Connie? Don't yell please, okay?"
At first, I thought, since I saw this happening after the baby was born, that it was a reaction to the baby - we're everlastingly telling her to use her indoor voice because "the baby is sleeping".
However, in retrospect, it occurs to me that she was already starting to do that before the baby was born. I remember clearly thinking it was a phase when she was doing this in the summer.
Mind, of course, she doesn't mind all loud things - she's certainly loud enough herself, and she tolerates that fine.
I've also noticed that after switching to taking the S53 and transfering to the S44 to get to the museum (instead of taking the S74 and transfering to the S40), her waiting for the first bus has gotten... boring. Instead of walking, looking at things, talking, she'll sit curled up and quiet. I'm thinking this is because the bus stop is much noisier than the other one - it's right by the expressway. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out, but that's exactly what I do when things are too loud for me - I tune it all out, don't hear anything (if that's possible - less now than when I was a kid), and ignore the world.
I had already been thinking that I needed to pay more attention to this after what happened at the museum last time we were there. Ana, at home, loves to flush the toilet. What kid doesn't? The toilet at home isn't very strong, so it's not very loud. She's flushed the museum toilets before, so she knows they're louder. She'd just gotten off the toilet and moved to flush it when she pulled her hand away, retreated as far from it as she could get without actually leaving the stall (we were using the handicapped stall because that's the one with the changing table - I can't put her diapers on with her standing up, I don't apparently have that kind of coordination), covers her hears, and tells me to flush the toilet. In the normal course of things, having me flush the toilet is unheard of. She even wants to flush it when she wasn't the one who used it! And while I know that it's normal for children to be frightened by unexpected sounds, or sounds they don't understand where they're coming from, I thought most children were fine with sounds they knew the cause of...?
Thing is, I don't know what's normal. My hearing is so strange that I'm not possibly an unbiased judge, and I really *don't* know that much about normal hearing for children.
This all came to a head today, though, at Michelle's house. Deniz (her elder daughter, four years old) had pulled out her ukelele to play on. Ana and all had been running and giggling all around, but when Ana saw this and figured out that it might make noise, she curled up into her Nanen and frowned and covered her ears. She thought it might make noise, and it might be loud, so she covered her ears. She's been doing that. I knew it probably wouldn't be that loud, and I leaned over and told her so - "Sweetie? I don't think this is going to be very loud. You don't have to cover your ears." Both Michelle and my mom thought this was strange, and said so.
Obviously, whether her hearing is too sensitive, normal, or even not sensitive enough (this I doubt), Ana's the one who's going to have to learn to deal with it. We all do.
My hearing is very sensitive. I can often hear things that others can't, at least when it comes to decibal level. I can't talk about frequency, so I don't know if my hearing is normal in that respect or not. I do have trouble with filtering sound - I used to be able to block off my sense of hearing almost entirely by focusing on something else. However, if I could hear something, I could hear everything else - this is still true. I can't hear somebody talking next to me without at the same time being aware of the rain, the train doors closing in the station, the TV that's on, the people in the next room talking. My mother apparently had her suspicions about that from my childhood and did her best to focus me on music on the theory that this'd be helpful. Don't know if it was or not.
I don't know how well Ana can filter out sounds. I do know that whether she can do so well or not, it's not easy living with a loud world :) I've honestly lived as I do for my whole life - I haven't even ever tried out earplugs because I figure "Eh, my hearing isn't *that* annoying that it's worth spending money on (I'll say that about anything if the money can go for a new book)".
No matter how Ana's hearing is, it's clear sounds are bothering her. Right now, she doesn't know how to deal with that other than covering her ears, which is a stopgap solution at best. I want to know what other people do to deal with noise, because my normal method (a. suffer through it while plotting everybody's death/reading a VERY engrossing book or b. leave, fast or c. suffer through it to a point, then suffer massively from the sensory overload because that wasn't really a clever thing to do) probably won't work for her. I'm not sure it even works for *me*, but at least I'm responsible enough to know that.
1. Ana is cute. Evie is cute. Ana's talking is cute. Evie's "ah-goo"ing is cute. Ana sitting next to her baby sister and carefully pointing out "your eye. Your other eye. Nose. This your nose!" while her sister grins is beyond adorable.
2. Ana's started sometimes calling her mother "Mama" instead of "Mommy". I'm sure she picked that up from her favoritest book ever, "In the Night Kitchen" (which we read at least once a day). I think this is cute, and it will limit the confusion between her Mommy and MY Mommy, or between the words "Connie" and "Mommy". My mother thinks this is cute, and will make life easier in crowded playgrounds. My sister is not convinced. She answers to Mama, though, so I don't know why she gets on our case for encouraging the child.
Onto the request for help.
I'm becoming concerned about Ana's hearing. I started noticing this problem when the baby was born - she's covering her ears a lot for sounds which, logically, shouldn't be loud. She's also getting very upset now if I raise my voice, or appear to, for any reason. "Connie? Don't yell please, okay?"
At first, I thought, since I saw this happening after the baby was born, that it was a reaction to the baby - we're everlastingly telling her to use her indoor voice because "the baby is sleeping".
However, in retrospect, it occurs to me that she was already starting to do that before the baby was born. I remember clearly thinking it was a phase when she was doing this in the summer.
Mind, of course, she doesn't mind all loud things - she's certainly loud enough herself, and she tolerates that fine.
I've also noticed that after switching to taking the S53 and transfering to the S44 to get to the museum (instead of taking the S74 and transfering to the S40), her waiting for the first bus has gotten... boring. Instead of walking, looking at things, talking, she'll sit curled up and quiet. I'm thinking this is because the bus stop is much noisier than the other one - it's right by the expressway. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out, but that's exactly what I do when things are too loud for me - I tune it all out, don't hear anything (if that's possible - less now than when I was a kid), and ignore the world.
I had already been thinking that I needed to pay more attention to this after what happened at the museum last time we were there. Ana, at home, loves to flush the toilet. What kid doesn't? The toilet at home isn't very strong, so it's not very loud. She's flushed the museum toilets before, so she knows they're louder. She'd just gotten off the toilet and moved to flush it when she pulled her hand away, retreated as far from it as she could get without actually leaving the stall (we were using the handicapped stall because that's the one with the changing table - I can't put her diapers on with her standing up, I don't apparently have that kind of coordination), covers her hears, and tells me to flush the toilet. In the normal course of things, having me flush the toilet is unheard of. She even wants to flush it when she wasn't the one who used it! And while I know that it's normal for children to be frightened by unexpected sounds, or sounds they don't understand where they're coming from, I thought most children were fine with sounds they knew the cause of...?
Thing is, I don't know what's normal. My hearing is so strange that I'm not possibly an unbiased judge, and I really *don't* know that much about normal hearing for children.
This all came to a head today, though, at Michelle's house. Deniz (her elder daughter, four years old) had pulled out her ukelele to play on. Ana and all had been running and giggling all around, but when Ana saw this and figured out that it might make noise, she curled up into her Nanen and frowned and covered her ears. She thought it might make noise, and it might be loud, so she covered her ears. She's been doing that. I knew it probably wouldn't be that loud, and I leaned over and told her so - "Sweetie? I don't think this is going to be very loud. You don't have to cover your ears." Both Michelle and my mom thought this was strange, and said so.
Obviously, whether her hearing is too sensitive, normal, or even not sensitive enough (this I doubt), Ana's the one who's going to have to learn to deal with it. We all do.
My hearing is very sensitive. I can often hear things that others can't, at least when it comes to decibal level. I can't talk about frequency, so I don't know if my hearing is normal in that respect or not. I do have trouble with filtering sound - I used to be able to block off my sense of hearing almost entirely by focusing on something else. However, if I could hear something, I could hear everything else - this is still true. I can't hear somebody talking next to me without at the same time being aware of the rain, the train doors closing in the station, the TV that's on, the people in the next room talking. My mother apparently had her suspicions about that from my childhood and did her best to focus me on music on the theory that this'd be helpful. Don't know if it was or not.
I don't know how well Ana can filter out sounds. I do know that whether she can do so well or not, it's not easy living with a loud world :) I've honestly lived as I do for my whole life - I haven't even ever tried out earplugs because I figure "Eh, my hearing isn't *that* annoying that it's worth spending money on (I'll say that about anything if the money can go for a new book)".
No matter how Ana's hearing is, it's clear sounds are bothering her. Right now, she doesn't know how to deal with that other than covering her ears, which is a stopgap solution at best. I want to know what other people do to deal with noise, because my normal method (a. suffer through it while plotting everybody's death/reading a VERY engrossing book or b. leave, fast or c. suffer through it to a point, then suffer massively from the sensory overload because that wasn't really a clever thing to do) probably won't work for her. I'm not sure it even works for *me*, but at least I'm responsible enough to know that.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-03 05:45 pm (UTC)I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way! My hearing is weird, though. I'm extremely sensitive to loud noise, and I'm happiest when the house is totally silent -- yet I often have trouble getting what people are saying. It often sounds like they're mumbling. I do have ADHD, so it could be an attentional thing.
But I finally did start carrying earplugs with me. When I go to a coffeehouse to hear a band, I'd be the only one with my hands over my ears -- no one else ever seems to be bothered. (And it's not just that they're not showing it. I've asked many people over the years, and they don't ever seem to have a problem with the volume.) I'm also sensitive to bright light that doesn't seem to bother other people, but sound is the worst -- I feel terribly overwhelmed by levels that other people find completely comfortable and normal.
I just checked a book out of the library called Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060195207/002-4023552-4716849?v=glance&n=283155). I haven't read it yet so I can't give you a recommendation one way or the other, but you might want to take a look at it.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-04 02:19 am (UTC)