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conuly
I occasionally browse a certain community, and some things that go there do irk me....
Okay, seriously. Why is this supposed to be funny? Or fair? Or anything?
1. A kid in a stroller, not hurting anyone, falling over straight backwards (okay, maybe you laugh every time ANYONE falls over, but that's still not right)
2. A woman running out to kick a kid up into the air when said kid wasn't doing anything to anybody
?
And there's a few other comments... (all comments may be exaggerated for effect)
"You know, when you hear smacking behind you, you automatically assume it's teenagers kissing, right? So you go to look, right? And EEEEWWWWWWWW, it's a BABY NURSING! Ick!"
How about you try something new. DON'T TURN AROUND. If this is what it takes to teach you some manners, I think you're well-served by the experience.
And two which, while not upsetting, do merit comment in my rant....
Even the aisle of baby food at the grocery store makes me cringe.
Okay, you're entitled to feel that way. But, frankly, that's a bit much. Lots of people don't like kids, they don't feel sick looking at jars of puree. I'm not saying this to be mean, but I can actually see that impairing your life.
My husband just told me that he is leaving; he "wants kids and to live in a small town."
Yes, I will be a divorcee because I won't breed. He knew this when we started dating.
Yes, that sucks. We all know it sucks. But... this is important. You should not decide to have kids just to please him, if he changed his mind on the kids issue (or stupidly married you thinking you'd change) he should have a chance to have kids, if it's so important to him now.
Let's look at some of the replies (biased sample):
That's horrible for him to do to you, especially after you'd made it clear that you didn't want kids!
Yeah, it's horrible for him to do to you. Or, we could say it's horrible for you to do to him. Is this worse than him lying about his feelings? Or than him nagging you the rest of your life to have kids? Or than him pressuring you into a bad decision? He's getting the divorce because it's clear to him that you don't want kids. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, this shouldn't happen. But it does. Some people do change their minds. Pity when it's about something important enough to ruin a good relationship, but it can't be helped.
What an asshole!
For wanting kids, and deciding not to stay in a relationship where this desire would hurt everyone? Maybe he really IS a jerk, but we don't know that from this person's comment.
*hugs* Oh, gods... I'm so sorry this happened to you. What he did was nigh unto unforgivable. It's men like him that should be castrated.
Because changing your mind is BAD. Like many people in that community have said "if he's not childfree, he's not for me". Well, I'm guessing that if you really want kids, and your partner doesn't, they're no longer the right person for you. Again, it sucks, and again, it's bad that this has to happen to you, but people do change their minds. That's not a crime, nor even a thing we can help.
Agreed. I think it would be the most fantastic irony if he discovered he were sterile. Or if he suffered from extreme erectile dysfunction.
Spiteful, much? Either the guy was an idiot, hoping to change her, or he changed. But he should lie about who he is to please her? Why should it be that way instead of her lying about who she is? Either way, one or both of them is gonna end up unhappy that way. The answer, of course, is that neither should lie, but since this makes a relationship difficult, at best, they shouldn't be married anymore. Yeah, that makes us unhappy, and yeah, it's hard, and no, I don't wish that on anyone... but there's nothing you can do. It's better, in the long run, than the alternatives
And there's the news from me. Did I mention that some people irk me?
Okay, seriously. Why is this supposed to be funny? Or fair? Or anything?
1. A kid in a stroller, not hurting anyone, falling over straight backwards (okay, maybe you laugh every time ANYONE falls over, but that's still not right)
2. A woman running out to kick a kid up into the air when said kid wasn't doing anything to anybody
?
And there's a few other comments... (all comments may be exaggerated for effect)
"You know, when you hear smacking behind you, you automatically assume it's teenagers kissing, right? So you go to look, right? And EEEEWWWWWWWW, it's a BABY NURSING! Ick!"
How about you try something new. DON'T TURN AROUND. If this is what it takes to teach you some manners, I think you're well-served by the experience.
And two which, while not upsetting, do merit comment in my rant....
Even the aisle of baby food at the grocery store makes me cringe.
Okay, you're entitled to feel that way. But, frankly, that's a bit much. Lots of people don't like kids, they don't feel sick looking at jars of puree. I'm not saying this to be mean, but I can actually see that impairing your life.
My husband just told me that he is leaving; he "wants kids and to live in a small town."
Yes, I will be a divorcee because I won't breed. He knew this when we started dating.
Yes, that sucks. We all know it sucks. But... this is important. You should not decide to have kids just to please him, if he changed his mind on the kids issue (or stupidly married you thinking you'd change) he should have a chance to have kids, if it's so important to him now.
Let's look at some of the replies (biased sample):
That's horrible for him to do to you, especially after you'd made it clear that you didn't want kids!
Yeah, it's horrible for him to do to you. Or, we could say it's horrible for you to do to him. Is this worse than him lying about his feelings? Or than him nagging you the rest of your life to have kids? Or than him pressuring you into a bad decision? He's getting the divorce because it's clear to him that you don't want kids. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, this shouldn't happen. But it does. Some people do change their minds. Pity when it's about something important enough to ruin a good relationship, but it can't be helped.
What an asshole!
For wanting kids, and deciding not to stay in a relationship where this desire would hurt everyone? Maybe he really IS a jerk, but we don't know that from this person's comment.
*hugs* Oh, gods... I'm so sorry this happened to you. What he did was nigh unto unforgivable. It's men like him that should be castrated.
Because changing your mind is BAD. Like many people in that community have said "if he's not childfree, he's not for me". Well, I'm guessing that if you really want kids, and your partner doesn't, they're no longer the right person for you. Again, it sucks, and again, it's bad that this has to happen to you, but people do change their minds. That's not a crime, nor even a thing we can help.
Agreed. I think it would be the most fantastic irony if he discovered he were sterile. Or if he suffered from extreme erectile dysfunction.
Spiteful, much? Either the guy was an idiot, hoping to change her, or he changed. But he should lie about who he is to please her? Why should it be that way instead of her lying about who she is? Either way, one or both of them is gonna end up unhappy that way. The answer, of course, is that neither should lie, but since this makes a relationship difficult, at best, they shouldn't be married anymore. Yeah, that makes us unhappy, and yeah, it's hard, and no, I don't wish that on anyone... but there's nothing you can do. It's better, in the long run, than the alternatives
And there's the news from me. Did I mention that some people irk me?
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 10:22 am (UTC)And re: the woman who's husband is leaving her. That's so sad. =/ I mean, it's best that he leaves but it's so sad... my physics teacher, her boyfriend of five years (she was converting to Judaism and everything for this man) dumped her out of the blue because he suddenly decided he didn't want to date a woman who was 4'10. For some reason these seem parallel. He's the wrong guy and it's good he's gone, but it's still sad. People just would naturally say "he's an asshole" and they may mean it, but it may also be a way to cheer her up. When someone hurts you, normally you'll (well, most people) will come up with a reasoning to make themselves feel better. Sometimes calling him an asshole and hoping he goes sterile is what does it. I mean, I took a small amount of glee when one of the guys that made my life a living hell didn't get into the dream college he bragged about....
Sorry, I just like to play Devil's advocate. I haven't read
no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 10:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 05:19 pm (UTC)And if that's the case, maybe she did the same for him. I can't imagine that he thought she'd change and never ONCE said "you know, I really want kids".
no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 05:28 pm (UTC)"He was an asshole" but they'd tack on "you did the right thing!" *sarcasm* it's a bit of a no win situation with that.