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conuly
I occasionally browse a certain community, and some things that go there do irk me....
Okay, seriously. Why is this supposed to be funny? Or fair? Or anything?
1. A kid in a stroller, not hurting anyone, falling over straight backwards (okay, maybe you laugh every time ANYONE falls over, but that's still not right)
2. A woman running out to kick a kid up into the air when said kid wasn't doing anything to anybody
?
And there's a few other comments... (all comments may be exaggerated for effect)
"You know, when you hear smacking behind you, you automatically assume it's teenagers kissing, right? So you go to look, right? And EEEEWWWWWWWW, it's a BABY NURSING! Ick!"
How about you try something new. DON'T TURN AROUND. If this is what it takes to teach you some manners, I think you're well-served by the experience.
And two which, while not upsetting, do merit comment in my rant....
Even the aisle of baby food at the grocery store makes me cringe.
Okay, you're entitled to feel that way. But, frankly, that's a bit much. Lots of people don't like kids, they don't feel sick looking at jars of puree. I'm not saying this to be mean, but I can actually see that impairing your life.
My husband just told me that he is leaving; he "wants kids and to live in a small town."
Yes, I will be a divorcee because I won't breed. He knew this when we started dating.
Yes, that sucks. We all know it sucks. But... this is important. You should not decide to have kids just to please him, if he changed his mind on the kids issue (or stupidly married you thinking you'd change) he should have a chance to have kids, if it's so important to him now.
Let's look at some of the replies (biased sample):
That's horrible for him to do to you, especially after you'd made it clear that you didn't want kids!
Yeah, it's horrible for him to do to you. Or, we could say it's horrible for you to do to him. Is this worse than him lying about his feelings? Or than him nagging you the rest of your life to have kids? Or than him pressuring you into a bad decision? He's getting the divorce because it's clear to him that you don't want kids. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, this shouldn't happen. But it does. Some people do change their minds. Pity when it's about something important enough to ruin a good relationship, but it can't be helped.
What an asshole!
For wanting kids, and deciding not to stay in a relationship where this desire would hurt everyone? Maybe he really IS a jerk, but we don't know that from this person's comment.
*hugs* Oh, gods... I'm so sorry this happened to you. What he did was nigh unto unforgivable. It's men like him that should be castrated.
Because changing your mind is BAD. Like many people in that community have said "if he's not childfree, he's not for me". Well, I'm guessing that if you really want kids, and your partner doesn't, they're no longer the right person for you. Again, it sucks, and again, it's bad that this has to happen to you, but people do change their minds. That's not a crime, nor even a thing we can help.
Agreed. I think it would be the most fantastic irony if he discovered he were sterile. Or if he suffered from extreme erectile dysfunction.
Spiteful, much? Either the guy was an idiot, hoping to change her, or he changed. But he should lie about who he is to please her? Why should it be that way instead of her lying about who she is? Either way, one or both of them is gonna end up unhappy that way. The answer, of course, is that neither should lie, but since this makes a relationship difficult, at best, they shouldn't be married anymore. Yeah, that makes us unhappy, and yeah, it's hard, and no, I don't wish that on anyone... but there's nothing you can do. It's better, in the long run, than the alternatives
And there's the news from me. Did I mention that some people irk me?
Okay, seriously. Why is this supposed to be funny? Or fair? Or anything?
1. A kid in a stroller, not hurting anyone, falling over straight backwards (okay, maybe you laugh every time ANYONE falls over, but that's still not right)
2. A woman running out to kick a kid up into the air when said kid wasn't doing anything to anybody
?
And there's a few other comments... (all comments may be exaggerated for effect)
"You know, when you hear smacking behind you, you automatically assume it's teenagers kissing, right? So you go to look, right? And EEEEWWWWWWWW, it's a BABY NURSING! Ick!"
How about you try something new. DON'T TURN AROUND. If this is what it takes to teach you some manners, I think you're well-served by the experience.
And two which, while not upsetting, do merit comment in my rant....
Even the aisle of baby food at the grocery store makes me cringe.
Okay, you're entitled to feel that way. But, frankly, that's a bit much. Lots of people don't like kids, they don't feel sick looking at jars of puree. I'm not saying this to be mean, but I can actually see that impairing your life.
My husband just told me that he is leaving; he "wants kids and to live in a small town."
Yes, I will be a divorcee because I won't breed. He knew this when we started dating.
Yes, that sucks. We all know it sucks. But... this is important. You should not decide to have kids just to please him, if he changed his mind on the kids issue (or stupidly married you thinking you'd change) he should have a chance to have kids, if it's so important to him now.
Let's look at some of the replies (biased sample):
That's horrible for him to do to you, especially after you'd made it clear that you didn't want kids!
Yeah, it's horrible for him to do to you. Or, we could say it's horrible for you to do to him. Is this worse than him lying about his feelings? Or than him nagging you the rest of your life to have kids? Or than him pressuring you into a bad decision? He's getting the divorce because it's clear to him that you don't want kids. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, this shouldn't happen. But it does. Some people do change their minds. Pity when it's about something important enough to ruin a good relationship, but it can't be helped.
What an asshole!
For wanting kids, and deciding not to stay in a relationship where this desire would hurt everyone? Maybe he really IS a jerk, but we don't know that from this person's comment.
*hugs* Oh, gods... I'm so sorry this happened to you. What he did was nigh unto unforgivable. It's men like him that should be castrated.
Because changing your mind is BAD. Like many people in that community have said "if he's not childfree, he's not for me". Well, I'm guessing that if you really want kids, and your partner doesn't, they're no longer the right person for you. Again, it sucks, and again, it's bad that this has to happen to you, but people do change their minds. That's not a crime, nor even a thing we can help.
Agreed. I think it would be the most fantastic irony if he discovered he were sterile. Or if he suffered from extreme erectile dysfunction.
Spiteful, much? Either the guy was an idiot, hoping to change her, or he changed. But he should lie about who he is to please her? Why should it be that way instead of her lying about who she is? Either way, one or both of them is gonna end up unhappy that way. The answer, of course, is that neither should lie, but since this makes a relationship difficult, at best, they shouldn't be married anymore. Yeah, that makes us unhappy, and yeah, it's hard, and no, I don't wish that on anyone... but there's nothing you can do. It's better, in the long run, than the alternatives
And there's the news from me. Did I mention that some people irk me?
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 03:40 am (UTC)This whole "childfree" communities thing is new to me -- I never heard of such until discovering them on LJ. I note, though, that others outside of here know about them, as they were satirized last Sunday night on The Simpsons.
People who hate children are more alien to me than anything I've ever encountered in science fiction, written or filmed. Do they think they were never children themselves? Do they think they sprang into being as fully-formed adults, like Pallas Athene from the brow of Zeus?
Fie on them and their goofy attitudes.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-08 04:02 am (UTC)To my mind, if you want, you can hate kids. You may have good reasons for it, like a sensitivity to high tones, you may not, as in the case of prejudice, but I really don't care, it's not my business. Shit, there's some kids I hate, and I hated most kids for about as long as I was one... bad memories there. However, if you have a community which says "we're not all childhaters", but you make a big deal out of various comments which are, um, iffy at best on the childhating issue... there's something screwy there.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-09 10:24 pm (UTC)> It was only on LJ? Sheltered upbringing!
Oh, it wasn't that I've never met child-haters. As an adult I've met some who were out, just as I suspect some of the nuns who abused me and my classmates in primary school were in the closet.
What gets me is that now they're organized.
It's like in the Three Stooges comedy in which somebody calls them morons and Moe replies, "Yes! And we're organized!", proudly showing his union button, evidence of his membership in the Amalgamated Morons, Dimwits, and Fools, Local 6-7/8.