On "being too old" to trick-or-treat....
Nov. 2nd, 2005 02:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
Many of you, I'm sure, know about my experience with early puberty. To recap: I look now very much like I did at 10. I had breasts before my father died, in the 4th grade. The next year I got my period. I had pubic hair when we were still on 18th avenue, so either in the 4th or 3rd grade. (The average observer is not to know this, of course, but I'm putting it in for the sake of completeness.)
It's bad enough to remember my Last Trick-or-Treating Experience Ever (honestly, I'm far less upset in the present about this than my mom is. She's *still* angry enough to spit when she thinks about that!) until I remember that I'm not the only person who went through early puberty. The kid I talk about in the link? Facial hair in the first grade? That's not an exaggeration. That's not a lie, or some friendly hyperbole to make a point. That's two kids, in the same school (but from different parts of the country, originally, and living in different parts of the city, which helps rule out environmental factors) going through life consistently looking older than they were. Much older, really - I *knew* this kid was two years younger than I was, and he looked older. I've seen pictures of myself at four or five, and I don't believe I'm that age - I look more like nine or ten.
It's one thing for me to talk about this and say "but I was a bit weird", except... I couldn't've been *that* weird, because I can remember at least one other kid like that! And I see it when I go out with Ana - somebody will complain that this kid is "very rough" with the other kids, that she "doesn't act right" - well, the kid doesn't act right because she's a year younger than she looks. You can't expect an 18 month old child to act like a 2.5 year old child, even if that's the age of her same-heighted friends. And it's clear to me, from watching this kid, that she's only 18 months old, but apparently many people who 1. have children that age and 2. hang around other children for several hours a week don't see it - they see the kid's size and assume she's a certain age. Or, on the other hand, there's people who think Ana is up to a year younger than she is. Even though she's clearly *not* from her behaviour, they see her height and assume she's not as old as she is.
You can't tell how old a given child is by looking at them. You *should* be able to guess, with some degree of accuracy, by how they act... but from my limited experience, that gets harder as they get older.
So, my halloween motto? Costumes. It's all about the costumes. I don't bother trying to figure out ages, because, dude, I've been there, and it is Not Pleasant.
It's bad enough to remember my Last Trick-or-Treating Experience Ever (honestly, I'm far less upset in the present about this than my mom is. She's *still* angry enough to spit when she thinks about that!) until I remember that I'm not the only person who went through early puberty. The kid I talk about in the link? Facial hair in the first grade? That's not an exaggeration. That's not a lie, or some friendly hyperbole to make a point. That's two kids, in the same school (but from different parts of the country, originally, and living in different parts of the city, which helps rule out environmental factors) going through life consistently looking older than they were. Much older, really - I *knew* this kid was two years younger than I was, and he looked older. I've seen pictures of myself at four or five, and I don't believe I'm that age - I look more like nine or ten.
It's one thing for me to talk about this and say "but I was a bit weird", except... I couldn't've been *that* weird, because I can remember at least one other kid like that! And I see it when I go out with Ana - somebody will complain that this kid is "very rough" with the other kids, that she "doesn't act right" - well, the kid doesn't act right because she's a year younger than she looks. You can't expect an 18 month old child to act like a 2.5 year old child, even if that's the age of her same-heighted friends. And it's clear to me, from watching this kid, that she's only 18 months old, but apparently many people who 1. have children that age and 2. hang around other children for several hours a week don't see it - they see the kid's size and assume she's a certain age. Or, on the other hand, there's people who think Ana is up to a year younger than she is. Even though she's clearly *not* from her behaviour, they see her height and assume she's not as old as she is.
You can't tell how old a given child is by looking at them. You *should* be able to guess, with some degree of accuracy, by how they act... but from my limited experience, that gets harder as they get older.
So, my halloween motto? Costumes. It's all about the costumes. I don't bother trying to figure out ages, because, dude, I've been there, and it is Not Pleasant.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 08:33 pm (UTC)But yeah-- it would be better for the ride operators to understand that and be able to explain it to you and/or your parents. Having been a ride operator, I can tell you this would be utterly futile, as all too many parents' response to normal height requirements is usually "I'll sign a *%^()$@ing paper if my son can go on THIS RIDE!" and don't understand when you say "your paper won't help me keep my job, sir. Go away."
These are the same types of folks who accused me of being racist for not letting their 3" too short son on the bumper cars, and the same kinds who brutally beat a ride operator with a telephone she was using to call for help one night.
It's very hard to tell a parent that you're denying their kid some fun and that it's in the best interest of the kid.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 08:37 pm (UTC)So the adult goes on the ride. How does that ruin anybody else's fun? Being told that the people who run the park are lying to you, and saying you can go on when you can't, that's not fun. They should make the rules they can enforce (it's not safe for anybody if somebody outside this height range is riding) instead of the ones they can't.
These are the same types of folks who accused me of being racist for not letting their 3" too short son on the bumper cars, and the same kinds who brutally beat a ride operator with a telephone she was using to call for help one night.
Oy vey....
no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 08:46 pm (UTC)