On "being too old" to trick-or-treat....
Nov. 2nd, 2005 02:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly
Many of you, I'm sure, know about my experience with early puberty. To recap: I look now very much like I did at 10. I had breasts before my father died, in the 4th grade. The next year I got my period. I had pubic hair when we were still on 18th avenue, so either in the 4th or 3rd grade. (The average observer is not to know this, of course, but I'm putting it in for the sake of completeness.)
It's bad enough to remember my Last Trick-or-Treating Experience Ever (honestly, I'm far less upset in the present about this than my mom is. She's *still* angry enough to spit when she thinks about that!) until I remember that I'm not the only person who went through early puberty. The kid I talk about in the link? Facial hair in the first grade? That's not an exaggeration. That's not a lie, or some friendly hyperbole to make a point. That's two kids, in the same school (but from different parts of the country, originally, and living in different parts of the city, which helps rule out environmental factors) going through life consistently looking older than they were. Much older, really - I *knew* this kid was two years younger than I was, and he looked older. I've seen pictures of myself at four or five, and I don't believe I'm that age - I look more like nine or ten.
It's one thing for me to talk about this and say "but I was a bit weird", except... I couldn't've been *that* weird, because I can remember at least one other kid like that! And I see it when I go out with Ana - somebody will complain that this kid is "very rough" with the other kids, that she "doesn't act right" - well, the kid doesn't act right because she's a year younger than she looks. You can't expect an 18 month old child to act like a 2.5 year old child, even if that's the age of her same-heighted friends. And it's clear to me, from watching this kid, that she's only 18 months old, but apparently many people who 1. have children that age and 2. hang around other children for several hours a week don't see it - they see the kid's size and assume she's a certain age. Or, on the other hand, there's people who think Ana is up to a year younger than she is. Even though she's clearly *not* from her behaviour, they see her height and assume she's not as old as she is.
You can't tell how old a given child is by looking at them. You *should* be able to guess, with some degree of accuracy, by how they act... but from my limited experience, that gets harder as they get older.
So, my halloween motto? Costumes. It's all about the costumes. I don't bother trying to figure out ages, because, dude, I've been there, and it is Not Pleasant.
It's bad enough to remember my Last Trick-or-Treating Experience Ever (honestly, I'm far less upset in the present about this than my mom is. She's *still* angry enough to spit when she thinks about that!) until I remember that I'm not the only person who went through early puberty. The kid I talk about in the link? Facial hair in the first grade? That's not an exaggeration. That's not a lie, or some friendly hyperbole to make a point. That's two kids, in the same school (but from different parts of the country, originally, and living in different parts of the city, which helps rule out environmental factors) going through life consistently looking older than they were. Much older, really - I *knew* this kid was two years younger than I was, and he looked older. I've seen pictures of myself at four or five, and I don't believe I'm that age - I look more like nine or ten.
It's one thing for me to talk about this and say "but I was a bit weird", except... I couldn't've been *that* weird, because I can remember at least one other kid like that! And I see it when I go out with Ana - somebody will complain that this kid is "very rough" with the other kids, that she "doesn't act right" - well, the kid doesn't act right because she's a year younger than she looks. You can't expect an 18 month old child to act like a 2.5 year old child, even if that's the age of her same-heighted friends. And it's clear to me, from watching this kid, that she's only 18 months old, but apparently many people who 1. have children that age and 2. hang around other children for several hours a week don't see it - they see the kid's size and assume she's a certain age. Or, on the other hand, there's people who think Ana is up to a year younger than she is. Even though she's clearly *not* from her behaviour, they see her height and assume she's not as old as she is.
You can't tell how old a given child is by looking at them. You *should* be able to guess, with some degree of accuracy, by how they act... but from my limited experience, that gets harder as they get older.
So, my halloween motto? Costumes. It's all about the costumes. I don't bother trying to figure out ages, because, dude, I've been there, and it is Not Pleasant.
