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conuly
Because it kills.
Yes, this boy committed suicide - but he was killed by the people who wouldn't let it drop, who had to bother him day after day. I shouldn't have to say this, it should be obvious, but there's always somebody who thinks I'm wrong, that if the bullied had just fit in, had conformed more, it would be different. Well, that's not true. If the victim fits in, the bullies just switch to somebody new. The only way to stop it is to make sure everybody knows that this is unacceptable.
Yes, this boy committed suicide - but he was killed by the people who wouldn't let it drop, who had to bother him day after day. I shouldn't have to say this, it should be obvious, but there's always somebody who thinks I'm wrong, that if the bullied had just fit in, had conformed more, it would be different. Well, that's not true. If the victim fits in, the bullies just switch to somebody new. The only way to stop it is to make sure everybody knows that this is unacceptable.
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Actually, that's not true in my experience...
Date: 2004-12-06 08:41 pm (UTC)No, what they do is deride the victim's never-quite-satisfactory efforts to fit in until the explosion happens.
Autobiographical evidence: in middle school I was mocked for not wearing makeup. Accordingly, I asked my parents for some and started wearing it in eighth grade. Now the topic of the mockery was not my lack of makeup but my inexpert application of it (since my mother didn't wear makeup either).
Re: Actually, that's not true in my experience...
Date: 2004-12-06 08:45 pm (UTC)The solution isn't to ask the victims to fit in, or to stop-gap the problem and say "bullying these people isn't right" (gays, blacks, people-who-don't-wear-makeup), it's to say "bullying is wrong, you intolerant jerks" and mean it.
Re: Actually, that's not true in my experience...
Date: 2004-12-06 08:54 pm (UTC)I've always wondered why high-school students, often less than a year away from legal adulthood, are permitted to get away with crap that in the Real World could result in charges being filed.
(Autobio. anecdote again: sophomore English class, teacher who marked you tardy if not seated when bell rang, I ran in at last second & was shoved by seated miscreant. Miscreant cried "tardy!", teacher said "not if she hadn't been pushed", end of matter. That's assault, is it not?)