Stealing gift swaps

[conuly]

In the past month I've become aware of a few things, which I'll enumerate now:

1. There are a lot of different names for the sort of gift swap where people pick gifts randomly and can steal from other players - Yankee Swap, White Elephant, Dirty Santa... the list just goes on.

2. Many people think there's some sort of distinction between these activities, that some are just for regifting or just for gag gifts or whatever, or that some are unwrapped presents and others are wrapped presents, or I don't even know. These people are constantly dismayed to find that nobody else knows their private rules. If you're organizing such an activity for your group, you need to make it very clear what sort of gifting is happening or else a lot of people are going to be unhappy that "nobody knew the real rules".

3. Many people think it's appropriate to give sex toys and lingerie at these activities, even at work. You shouldn't have to forbid this, but you do.

4. The funniest possible gift that's still useful is an economy sized package of toilet paper. If your gift exchange is for inexpensive gag gifts, you will utterly make a smash.

5. The most desired gift in a non-gag gift swap is probably a gift card.

So now you know!

Comments

[sovay]

3. Many people think it's appropriate to give sex toys and lingerie at these activities, even at work. You shouldn't have to forbid this, but you do.

Aaaaaaah.

[conuly]

IT IS SO GROSS.

Even if you worked at, idk, a strip club or a sex store or a freaking brothel, it'd be so gross. Except I think they know that at those places, which is why you only hear this story from office environments.

BTW, if you're a cisgender guy in such an environment and you see a female coworker has accidentally gotten such an item, you're honor-bound to "steal" it from her and then complain to the organizer later that this should've been specifically forbidden in the rules. And if such a thing happens during a Secret Santa, and you witness it, you're well within your rights to help the hapless victim go to HR and then key the dudebro's car.

[peoriapeoriawhereart]

Oh, how I wish "lingerie" here was correctly sized thermals.

First rule of clowning: The "underwear" revealed is polka-dotted and covers to the knees. I don't know if the hooped top pants with suspenders clown still exists.

[jessie_c]

The most-stolen gift I ever saw at one of these was a set of 5 Vodka sample bottles. It went around the entire room at least once.

[flexagon]

Yeah, alcohol always swapped the most at every corporate one of these I've seen.

[dragonyphoenix]

I've got one coming up next Wednesday and have no idea what I'm getting yet so that's good to know.

[colls]

As a former organizer of this sort of exchange, I can only whole-heartedly agree with your list (it wasn't for work, it was a group of drinking friends so #3 would've been acceptable).
The only thing I would add is that when the organizer explains the rules of this particular swap, DON'T ARGUE AND TRY TO DO YOUR OWN THING. As you say, there are 100 ways to play and dear lord someone has to make a decision or it's going to end in chaos and hurt feelings AND NO ONE WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME.

I no longer organize the group because I moved away, but this sort of crap is why I don't miss it.
Bah Humbug.
(LOL)

But I'm totally buying toilet paper next time. Ha!

[conuly]

Geez, if you want to play by some other rules, make your own swap.

[topaz_eyes]

The Mister brought home a little pink piggy foot pillow from this year's white elephant. :-D ...with a pair of obviously used stretch slippers tucked inside. >_<

The best white elephant gift I remember, was a hot air popcorn popper in trade for a little Pikachu stuffie, back in about 2000. (The person who stole my Pikachu, commented he was going to take the only thing that would appreciate in value.) We still use the popcorn maker, too.

[conuly]

Did the Pikachu appreciate in value after all?

[batwrangler]

I'm never quite certain about this (or corporate group activities of any kind) so I look for something that appeals to my sense of whimsy: Last year, it was a giant plush owl that turned out to be quite a hit (I'd crammed it into a box rather smaller than it was in its uncompressed form, which no doubt helped). This year it was a cozy throw blanket with festive gnomes on it, but I went home sick before the exchange....

[conuly]

Festive gnomes sound nice!

[ioplokon]

Ugh yeah, I think that unless your office is really close, gag gift parties in general are just pointless. Like, just going out to spend $20 on a gift people probably are going to throw away is strange.

[ioplokon]

It's also fucking weird to do them in work environments where people attending are on vastly different pay scales?

[novel_machinist]

"Many people think it's appropriate to give sex toys and lingerie at these activities, even at work. You shouldn't have to forbid this, but you do"



Woooooowwwwwwwwww XD

[conuly]

Seriously!

[nicki]

Our most stolen 2 gifts this year were both fuzzy throw blankets. (rule was $20 cap)

[dragonyphoenix]

That's good to know. I've got an exchange coming up and am not sure what to get.

[dragonyphoenix]

These people are constantly dismayed to find that nobody else knows their private rules. I had that I experience. I thought it was only for gag gifts and was quite surprised to find out not.

I asked for recs on my Facebook group and a friend asked if sex toys were appropriate. I didn't bother to check but I'm pretty sure not. ;-)

The most desired gift in a non-gag gift swap is probably a gift card. That's good to know. I've got a final project on Monday and the gift exchange is Wednesday so I won't have much time to shop.

Toilet paper. And now I'm wishing ours was a gag gift exchange.

[conuly]

The other option for "always wanted" gift is, if you live someplace it gets cold, probably reusable hand warmers. I always want those, anyway....

(Everybody always says booze, but it must suck to be an alcoholic at a gift swap where everybody is swapping the drink all around and nobody swaps your gift and you never get to grab anything.)

[asakiyume]

This is brilliant, and your two advice points strike me as spot on. And that's pretty hilarious about the toilet paper.

[conuly]

Somebody brought it up elsewhere, and for now and forever I will tell people it's a good idea.

[adafrog]

3. That is gross.

4. Oh man, and I've already gotten mine. That's a great idea, though.

[conuly]

3. Yes, and I'm not convinced they don't really know it.

[gwydion]

Props on the toilet paper!

There is a reason I make the Secret Pumpkin rules incredibly simple and state them all clearly. Just saying.

Also, I hate that one where you steal other people's gifts. *shudder*

[conuly]

*shrugs*

If they're all really cheap gifts then apparently it can be enjoyable because you can go BUY the gift if you wanted it so much.

Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

We dispensed with the problem by using a giveaway box. All unwrapped, put one thing in and take one thing out.

Re: Well ...

[conuly]

I'd call that a grab bag.

[crystalpyramid]

I wonder if I'm the only person with a stack of useful gift cards I have been forgetting to actually use for the last four years.

Super-interesting post! I hate most kinds of gift-required activity because I find the decision-making really stressful, but it's really useful to see what everyone else does. (Also toilet paper suggestion is awesome!)

[conuly]

Listen, you want to send some of those gift cards along....

(Seriously, though, I think you can sell them.)

[zyzyly]

I love those gift exchange things. I always see it as a challenge to be as creative as possible in my gift selection. I found a white elephant figurine in Thailand once and used it as a white elephant gift. It went right over the recipient's head.

[silverusagi]

Yep. If I have learned nothing else from reading the Ask A Manager blog, it's that holiday gift exchanges have the potential to go horribly, horribly wrong.

[conuly]

Yup.

[cellio]

Sex toys and lingerie? At *work*? Um, no. Also, the versions of this that I've seen have people pick wrapped gifts from the pile (or steal from someone else); it's kind of bad form for a "fresh draw" gift to be blatantly inappropriate for the person who drew it and you can't know who that is, so anything with a size or gender or sexual-preference aspect should be right out even if people thought those items were otherwise ok. Sheesh.

At the ones I've seen, the most popular (non-gag) gifts have been alcohol, closely followed by good chocolate. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've seen gift cards show up. Oh, maybe Starbucks, but I wouldn't have been paying attention to that.

[conuly]

Yeah, well, apparently some people never got the memo about appropriate and inappropriate work behavior.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

The MOST desired gift is to not have to participate in gift-swaps, Secret Santa, office parties, or any such empty, commercialized rituals of pseudo-cameraderie.

Seriously, just don't. Everybody's plate is already too full at the holidays anyway, without piling on the burden of selecting, buying and wrapping junk for people who don't even want it, and of graciously receiving junk one doesn't even want. Holiday gift-giving is for loved ones, who rate more than some chintzy trinket; not for some semi-stranger at the office.

Gag gifts are one of the uglier forms of conspicuous consumption. WTF is wrong with people who'd squander good money on trash like that? It's not funny, it's not cute; it's just stupid and selfish, like using dollar bills as toilet paper.

If you must participate in gift exchanges, fancy high-end soap is a good choice. It's a consumable, but it's a durable consumable; it won't go stale or moldy. Everybody needs soap, and it's easy to re-gift if it's not wanted. Pretty tree ornaments are another safe bet - if, for some perverse reason, one just couldn't resist doing a gift exchange, ornaments would probably be the theme least likely to leave anyone mad or in tears.

[conuly]

Everybody swears they enjoy those, though I wonder if they mostly just enjoy complaining about them.