Updated pronoun usage

[conuly]

As I said, somebody in my life came out as nonbinary and this involved a change in pronouns. I'm tentatively happy to report that I'm now up to 25 - 33% correctly getting the right pronoun on the first try, slightly higher if they're within earshot. It's slow, but it's progress.

It only took me a few months to force myself to say twenty-whatever instead of two-thousand-whatever for the year, sooooooooo hopefully this will be just that fast.

Comments

[lydy]

Yay! I have two people in my life that now use "they" and I'm getting there. In at least one case, they clearly appreciate the effort, and are not cross with me when I get it wrong, especially if I immediately correct. And it makes them so happy when I get it right, so there's a real incentive. Yes, it's a bit of work, but it's work with a tangible benefit which brings more joy into the world, so it also makes me happy when I get it right.

[conuly]

I just hope they stick with this pronoun. I would be quite surprised if they changed their mind about their gender identity, but it's somewhat within the realm of possibility they'll decide they prefer some other pronoun, and if so I guess I'd just have to suck it up and deal but it'd be hard.

(Also hope there's never a name change involved. I use their name when actually speaking to them, not just about them. That'd be harder on them during the adjustment period.)

[lydy]

Yeah, one of my friends who changed their pronoun also changed their name, and I've known them since they were two. The name change is actually harder than the pronoun.

[altamira16]

These changes in people that you have known a long time are difficult. I was particularly graceless when a friend that I knew through grad school went through a gender identity transition? I am not even sure I have the right words for it.

[batwrangler]

I didn't know "twenty-whatever" vs "two-thousand-whatever" was a thing?

[conuly]

In 2013 I suddenly decided that it was high time to stop saying "Twenty thirteen" and so I made that my New Year's Resolution.

This year my resolution was "Don't move furniture all year" but my sister keeps making me violate that. She says that if I decide on my resolution in June, right before she asks me to move furniture, it doesn't count. Well, who asked her!?

[silveradept]

The effort is appreciated, as is the improvement, given how many people choose not to use correct pronouns, even when they know them.

[archangelbeth]

*supportive fistbump*

[amaebi]

Yay!

[wpadmirer]

I'm glad you're working on it. I am, too, and when I flub it I want to smack myself in the head. When you're old and have been trained on binary terms, it's rough going. Though totally worth it, I think.

[conuly]

Likewise, but then I'm drawing attention to the error and basically asking other people to manage my emotions. So no. Nooooooo. That's not helpful.

I'll mope here instead.

[author_by_night]

Good. I think it's an adjustment, but it's clear that you're trying (as opposed to simply being in denial). I'm sure that they appreciate it.

[conuly]

I'm just glad they're part of a family and a society where it's mostly *safe* to come out as nonbinary and also people have a good chance of understanding what you mean when you say that.

[thewayne]

There is a book bundle available at Humble Bundle right now that supports the ACLU, as in all proceeds go to the ACLU, and at the $15 level you get a book on pronoun usage. I just got the bundle yesterday but haven't had a chance to look at that one.

Books are without DRM and most are available in PDF, epub, or Kindle. Some are just PDF or not in all three.

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/get-the-vote-out-books

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

I always wondered abou that. Under what circumstances do you even use third-person pronouns about someone who's within hearing distance?

[conuly]

"Oh, hi, Friend. So-and-so here was just telling me about his/her/their mother."

"Mom, this is Friend. He's in my Psych class with me."

"Now, if somebody over here could pick up her room...."

It happens a lot more often than I expected!

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

I just realized that I never say this. Like ever. So, lesson for today - it's not just the accent, my word usage also seems to be weird.