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conulyNothing more will be posted related to the QoW fiasco, you'll be pleased to know. That's number one.
Secondly, and this is important, I have a very important request to make. You all know what I've said about when you're offended by something I've said, but it bears repeating. If I say something to offend you, please tell me what it is I said. This is very important.
There is, however, something more important. If something I said offends you, or if something about me personally manages to upset you, please, see if you can explain why. Or tell me how to say the same things I've said without being offensive. Telling me that I seem "arrogant" or "rude" (hypothetical examples) isn't very helpful unless you explain why that is. I can't modify my behaviour unless I know what it is that needs to change.
I recognize that a lot of people are unaccustomed to this sort of analysis, but for the sake of my sanity (and hopefully our friendship, if you're my friend), I ask you to please, if you're upset, be specific. And immediate. Don't wait until you're really pissed to complain. Complain earlier. Saves time.
Now. Time for the apology.
Since I seem to have actually offended somebody recently, I would like to extend my heartfelt apologies. I am truly sorry for upsetting you, and would like to make amends.
Secondly, and this is important, I have a very important request to make. You all know what I've said about when you're offended by something I've said, but it bears repeating. If I say something to offend you, please tell me what it is I said. This is very important.
There is, however, something more important. If something I said offends you, or if something about me personally manages to upset you, please, see if you can explain why. Or tell me how to say the same things I've said without being offensive. Telling me that I seem "arrogant" or "rude" (hypothetical examples) isn't very helpful unless you explain why that is. I can't modify my behaviour unless I know what it is that needs to change.
I recognize that a lot of people are unaccustomed to this sort of analysis, but for the sake of my sanity (and hopefully our friendship, if you're my friend), I ask you to please, if you're upset, be specific. And immediate. Don't wait until you're really pissed to complain. Complain earlier. Saves time.
Now. Time for the apology.
Since I seem to have actually offended somebody recently, I would like to extend my heartfelt apologies. I am truly sorry for upsetting you, and would like to make amends.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-13 06:04 pm (UTC)Before you respond, please note that you're at the bottom of my friends page. I'm making an effort to come back here periodically, but if you're worried I'll miss something, feel free to post on my most recent apology.
And a quick explanation on that, and you'll either love this explanation or be pissed, I love controversy and am currently perseverating on breastfeeding. Well, it makes a nice change from ranting about ABA and CAN, anyway. I think that'll fade in another week or so, though, so within a week I might be posting about something else. Anything else. This perseveration is starting to bore me. It's worse than the time I memorized the names of every Greek and Roman god! So, um, that's why I've been so vehemant. My mind's on repeat.
It's actually not you that's driving me insane on this issue. It pops up often in the websites I visit for reasons unknown to me, and some of the people on the "pro" side are so intolerant and so bullying that it makes me angry. Of all the things to bully people about! So that's why I always take the underdog side. So now whenever I see it I have to say something. I didn't see much of the QoW drama, though I remember the woman that said "all bottle fed badies are sickly" made me want to beat her. It's that misconception that's pissing me off. They're scare tactics, no better than the ones pro-lifers use (which is what makes me so *angry* about it).
no subject
Date: 2004-07-13 06:19 pm (UTC)Did you read my actual post related to the subject? I hid it behind a cut, since I figured by now everybody was bored to tears over the breastfeeding :)
I made my famous analogy about school. Some people study very hard, but they're going to fail anyway. Other people don't do any work, but they ace the finals. Most people put in a reasonable amount of work and get a decent grade. More work = a better grade. Babies, I think, are like that. Some can be fed absolute crap and they'll thrive. Some can have all the advantages and still end up sickly. Most, though, have better or worse health depending on what they have to eat. They won't be completely sickly because of the formula, but they won't be as healthy as they would be on breastmilk. And this goes for everything in life. Some people get lung cancer from second hand smoke, others smoke a pack a day all their lives and live to be 92. Most people are neither lucky nor unlucky; they get sick or stay healthy based on what they do.
So I agree with you. And I got another chance to use that analogy, yay!
Of course, it's possible that formula-fed babies really are sickly, and it's our definition of sickly that's skewed. But I'm not going into semantics right now, that's too much effort.