Sep. 13th, 2017

conuly: (Default)
the strangest things pop out of my mouth. I just get caught up on the moment, and say whatever springs to mind. Well, no, if it came to mind I'd review it first before saying it. But I'm sure this happens to everyone. (Please tell me it happens to everyone!)

The other day I was on the bus with my mother, and the jerk behind me was playing music (loudly) and singing along (badly), and I asked him to stop. So he starts off with "Well, I would've if you hadn't been so rude", which is bullshit. He should never have started in the first place and he knows it, which is what I told him. Nobody on the bus wants to listen to him. "Oh, can you read minds?"

This right there. That's the moment where I was possessed.

"Yes, I can, thanks for bringing it up."
"No you can't, nobody can read minds!"
"I knew you'd say that, but you're still wrong."

The funny thing about this conversation is that it worked. He lowered the volume. He didn't turn it off, and he bitched and moaned like a toddler, but he lowered the volume. Which is good, because I had no more idea where to go in this conversation than he did. Once you say something completely bizarre, there's just nothing left to say.

Seriously, though, I need to invest in some dollar store headphones, hand them out with a smile. Aggressive niceness, that works even better than aggressive nonsense. (Maybe it's more passive-aggressive, the headphones? Whatever. The alternative is to invest in a cell phone blocker, and I'm reliably informed that those are technically illegal.)


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