It's my birthday!

*glances at the news*

Fuuuuck. Can I have a do-over?

Sigh. You know the drill, guys. Batten down the hatches, and keep calling your congress critters. At this point, I'm not even sure what to say anymore, but I suppose it doesn't hurt to just call and have a friendly chitchat. If you want to get me something for my birthday, and it's not a pony, take $5 and donate it to the lefty not-for-profit of your choice. Right now both PP and the ACLU are swimming in cash (Thanks, Trump?) but the FFRF, Lambda, the SPLC - my guess is they haven't had quite the windfall since they weren't in the news. (And when in doubt, you can always donate to City Harvest.)

Got hit up for cash in the smoothest possible way the other day

It was so smooth, I almost gave this woman money just because!

Her: Good morning!
Me: Hi?
Her: So how're you doing?
Me: Fine, thanks, and you?
Her: Oh, sorry, I thought you were somebody I knew!
Me: LOL, it happens!

And then, when my guard was down -

Her: Listen, I'm a little short, can I borrow $5?

If I'd had any small bills, I really might have given her something. I wasn't fooled from the second she said "Listen", but still. It was really well done, and if she's careful to keep switching grocery stores she can probably keep it up a while before people get annoyed.