Quick question, by the way:

[conuly]

Is it wrong if while walking through battery park city and watching the girls dash up and down every set of stairs they encounter, jump from one bench to another, and clamber over all the rocks, as is their wont, I sing the Rocky theme song, as is my wont? They seem to think it attracts attention and is embarrassing, but I think the fact that they take death defying leaps off of six foot high benches* is what attracts the attention.

* Yes, you read that correctly.

Comments

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Welll.... why are you singing it? Why that song? No, really, why?

I have to say, if somebody started singing the Rocky theme song every time I was doing one of my exercise routines, I would assume that they were passive-aggressively mocking me, and I would not believe them if they denied it. Yes, it is wrong to mock people, especially children under your authority who don't have the option of walking away and not dealing with you again until you apologize. It's not about "attracting attention", it's about you making fun of them in public when they have already told you they don't like it.

If you don't want them leaping off benches like that - for which I wouldn't blame you one bit, since it sounds like a trip to the ER just waiting to happen - then just tell them so. If their behavior is inconveniencing other park users, tell them that. But it seems as if this behavior has been permitted them right along, or they wouldn't be in the habit of it, and you don't mention having told them to stop it.

So what's the real problem? Is it that you think the behavior is age-inappropriate, that they're too big now to hurtle around like that, and thus are making a spectacle of themselves, so singing the song is a way of detaching yourself from the appearance of condoning the behavior without actually reprimanding it? Sort of like saying to the general populace, "Yes, my girls are acting like wild monkeys in public and I don't like it either, but please try to take it humorously, and laugh at them instead of loooking down on me for not stopping them"...?

If that's the case, it would be a lot more honest to have The Talk about getting too big to act like wild monkeys, not making a spectacle of oneself, and how poorly it reflects on those bringing them up when they comport themselves with such inconsideration. It would be perfectly fair to say "Yes, it embarrasses me very much to be out with you when you act that way, and every time you do it I'm going to embarrass you right back, so if you don't want to hear the Rocky song, stop acting like a preschooler." That's not disingenuous passive-aggression, it's a straightforward declaration of unpleasant consequences for unacceptable behavior.

If you don't think the behavior is age-inappropriate or inconsiderate to other park users, and you haven't told them straight-out to stop it for those reasons, then deliberately embarrassing them is rude - and, yeah, keeping on doing it after they've told you it's embarrassing does make it deliberate. Denial of intent just makes it worse, because after all, they can't just come right out and call it a lie, as an adult would do in their place. Therefore an apology would be in order.

It's not safe for children to jump from any height higher than their own heads unless they have a mat, straw, a sand pile or deep water to cushion the impact. You may want to look up the topic of knee injuries, and have a serious discussion with the nieces on exactly why they really don't want any, and how part of growing up is learning to show a little sense about avoiding reckless acts that may disable one for life. Until they are old enough to show some sense, it's for the adults bringing them up to stop them from doing stupid things, so they reach adulthood with all their joints, teeth, etc. as intact as possible. Listening to this Explanation will probably be almost as tiresome to them as your singing the song was, which ought to be some consolation if you have to give it several times. ^^

[conuly]

Welll.... why are you singing it? Why that song? No, really, why?

Because I always sing when I walk, make dinner, shower, or otherwise do things. Or I hum. Or I absently go da-da-da to whatever pops into my head. It's just that it usually has nothing to do with them, but something about seeing them run up, then down, then up the steps to the lookout point jogs that part of my memory.

I don't think they're really that upset by it, though. They don't go "Connie, stop already!" but "Oh, Connie is being crazy, let's run to the next landmark and wait for her to catch up! Aaah, she'll catch us!" which is what they want to do anyway, as seen by the fact that humming or not they generally run to the next spot and wait for me. They just don't roll their eyes first. If I didn't want them climbing on things I would take the free bus instead of walking the mile and a half or so down the length of the park to the boat. (And then after the walk in which they gleefully climbed on everything in sight they ask "wait, why didn't we take the bus? You made us walk this whole way?" but, you know, it had been a long day.)

I mean, let's face it, I went to Eva's class to read last week, and she hid her face and cringed when I said "here is the book Eva wanted me to read," a sentence I had carefully constructed to be as bland and non-embarrassing as possible. I think they're just in general principle embarrassed by the idea of being around related adults in public.

As far as the benches goes, the truth is they climb to the six foot height, walk along it, then jump down step by step down to the lower part before jumping off in a wild plunge to the ground, but without a picture it's hard to explain. Though I never considered knee injuries before. Still, I'd rather they burn off all that energy when we walk rather than waiting until we get home. They have a full steam ahead approach to life that isn't very suited for bedtime.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay, so it's all about them getting to yell "Aaaah!" and run, not about about them *really* being embarrassed. LOL, all kids of a certain age are ever so mortified when their parents sing in public. But perhaps yours need the Explanation of why, no matter how one may be feeling, one does not act ashamed of one's family members in front of others - not even if they're behaving poorly; certainly not for simply existing and speaking.

I'm very relieved to hear your girlies are not literally jumping off six-foot-high benches, sheesh! See, there are children who do - boys mostly; boys egg each other on to acts of suicidal recklessness, so they're always jumping off heights, and six feet wouldn't be surprising. Even if one doesn't get an actual sprain or fracture, the impact causes micro-tearing and progressive inflammation under the kneecap, - especially if the feet aren't straight with the knees on landing. Might want to coach the girls about that: whatever they're doing, always keep feet pointed in the direction the knee bends, and it will save many a sports injury. But, yeah - no jumping off stuff taller than themselves; far too easy to get badly hurt.

LOL, "wait, you made us walk all this way?" - "Why no, darling children, I let you walk all this way." Sometimes one's just gotta be a wild monkey, and far better outdoors than in.