Well, I'm taking away the nieces' books.

[conuly]

One too many incidences of coming up and finding them scattered all over the floor, getting their covers torn off from being stepped on, getting PEED on at least once (they sleep in hammocks, and they're both still pretty young. Bedwetting is easier in that you just toss the whole bed in the wash, and harder in that then you have to mop) - no more!

EVERY book, on the shelf or not (because they have so many that just taking away the ones on the floor wouldn't matter) is getting boxed up for the next 7 days, at which point we'll discuss the matter.

With any luck, this will also help them find something else to do after bedtime other than sneak out of bed and start reading (and leaving all the books on the floor).

In other news, I'm also tired of seeing toys and games all over everywhere. EVERY broken toy is getting tossed, and half the stuff on the floor as well, whatever's not worth saving. (Ana ran away and hid in my mom's closet at this point. This is because Ana is a brat, but I used to hide in my closet when upset, so I try to forgive her.) I AM SO TIRED OF THIS.

Comments

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it did work remarkably well in the short term, at least as far as teaching them that leaving 'their' possessions out in 'their' room would be punished. If the single goal is to have the floor of the room be clean at all times, without regard to the feelings or the character-development of the children in question, then yes, an admirably effective solution.

Basically, those children had no possessions, and they had no room either. Put yourself in their place: the room that is called "yours" may be invaded at any time by another person, who may take anything in there and get rid of it at any time: how do you feel about that? Safe, secure, loved, respected? Do you have a warm feeling of trust for the maker of this arbitrary "rule", especially knowing that it may be arbitrarily changed at any time, and you will have no right to protest?

I highly recommend the books of Alice Miller, especially For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty inn Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence (http://www.amazon.com/Your-Own-Good-Child-Rearing-Violence/dp/0374522693/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1284073841&sr=1-3) for an in-depth professional explanation of why this sort of thing is cruel and wrong.

Note, I would not have a problem with a consistently-enforced rule that stuff left strewn about would go into the Box and have to be earned back by extra chores. The stuff is still theirs; it's still in the house; they can get it back when they want it... but leaving stuff strewn around makes extra work for someone else, so it's only fair they pay back that extra work with some of their own.

[jillianfish.livejournal.com]

I agree that perhaps depriving children of a private room of their own, with private possessions may be seen as cruel, however I strongly believe that a laissez-faire attitude to child raising may hurt children more than we realize. If you give a child no boundaries, how are they supposed to deal with a world that regularly forces them to follow rules that they may not have a say in? Children are not small adults, they do not have the same rights as small adults merely because they are not as capable of taking care of themselves as adults. It is a parents job to prepare their children for adulthood. Adulthood, as much as we may not like it, is a series of rules and guidelines that we must follow for the good of ourselves and society. Thus, children need to learn that there are rules and that the rules must be followed. If you have an unregistered gun in your house, regardless of whether its "yours" I would want the police to come into "your house" and take it. Sorry, but that's for my safety as well as society's. Also, in regards to parents being monarchs, so to speak, well, it's their house, and it's their rules. If we choose to live in America or France or Sweden or China, or hell, even North Korea then it is expected that we follow the rules set forth by the government. If children are to grow up to be well adjusted adults, they need to understand that life isn't always fair and that you are expected to follow rules set forth by a governing body, be it a president, a parliament or a parent. If those rules are slightly chafing, well, I'm sorry.

[conuly]

If we choose to live in America or France or Sweden or China, or hell, even North Korea then it is expected that we follow the rules set forth by the government.

Where you live (especially if it's North Korea) isn't really much of a matter of choice.

If children are to grow up to be well adjusted adults, they need to understand that life isn't always fair and that you are expected to follow rules set forth by a governing body, be it a president, a parliament or a parent. If those rules are slightly chafing, well, I'm sorry.

Not really a good comparison, though (unless you're in North Korea) because we choose our legislators and public opinion has some real influence.