*headdesk*

[conuly]

My grandmother needs her pacemaker checked.

I carefully examined the referral and dialed the number there.

Try number one!

Receptionist: Hi *mumblemumblemumble*!
Me: This is where I call to get a pacemaker checked?
Receptionist: I'unno. *click*
Me: Did she... she HUNG UP ON ME?

Try number two!

Me: I'm not sure I WANT to deal with that receptionist again. I'll try google. Okay, this is the number for these people, got it...
Phone: To continue in English, please press one now.
Me: Okay. One!
Phone: *starts speaking Spanish*
Me: Uh... riiiiiight.

I'm now on try number three. I'll keep you posted.