Ugh.

[conuly]

Twit number one is arguing with me that people should disclose all of their past marriages (even if said marriages are clearly never going to affect anything in the future) to their children. I disagree, but what I *really* don't like is her going "I don't want to be like that person downthread who found out in her father's obituary!"

Yeah. That person's me. And about the only thing I took away from that obit was "Wow. My dad's wedding had the Grateful Dead playing - live!" I wasn't shocked, traumatized, left feeling awkward, weirded out, or disturbed by this revelation. Might have been if I had half-siblings somewhere, but as I don't I can't imagine why anybody would care. If you're gonna use my comment as an example, use it to agree with me, you doofus.

Twit number two says: You want your kids to grow up thinking that you fall in love, marry, and live happily ever after and you're living with a prime example of the fact that that doesn't always happen.

Do people really want their kids to think that? Why? It strikes me as one of the stupidest things I've ever read in P101, and that's saying a whole heck of a lot. It's right up there with "If I had sex with him, that means I love him so it's all right because we're in love". It's just STUPID - more so if you happen to know from personal experience that it's just not true. Then it's stupid and lying. Great job of talking to your impressionable children.

And several other people are piping up that if you don't explicitly share information, you're somehow keeping it secret. They're wrong, but I'd be glad to keep secrets if it'd spare us all boring and pointless conversations that run:

Mom: Julia, just so you know, I was married before I met your dad.
Julia: What?
Mom: I was married before I met your dad!
Julia: Why are you telling me this????
Mom: No reason, I just thought you ought to know so you wouldn't feel awkward and weird!
Julia: Well, I certainly feel awkward and weird NOW. Do I have brothers and sisters I don't know about???
Mom: Nope, nothing like that!
Julia: DO I KNOW THIS GUY? IS IT MY MATH TEACHER?
Mom: No, silly! I don't know why you're getting worked up about it, I'm just telling you.
Julia: But why???
Mom: Because!
Julia: Well, thanks. So there's no reason?
Mom: Nope.
Julia: Wow. This conversation was a complete waste of time. Thanks, Mom.
Mom: You're welcome! Also, in high school I slept with the chess team on a dare, and in kindergarten I ate paste.
Julia: MOM!
Mom: Full disclosure, you're bound to find out sooner or later, I thought you should know!

Yeah. I think I'll pass. I do wish my mother had fessed up about her secret boyfriend, admittedly, but that's something that at least happened within my own lifetime, and I stumbled upon it in a really embarrassing way. Unless you're storing your homemade porn from your ex in your dresser drawer, it's not likely to ever come up in that fashion, is it?

Comments

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

I can't comment on the situation with your parents at all, but I can say with Connie that a) she was 10, so it may just not have come up in conversation yet and b) I am pretty sure *I* knew, from casual conversation (not a big We Have Something To Tell You talk or anything) before my father's death, so I can say with a fair amount of certainty that it likely WAS discussed around Connie but she simply wasn't tuned into the conversation at the time (something I think she will verify happens a decent amount of the time, and particularly when she was a young child and people were talking about things that were "adult stuff" and probably didn't interest her any...or, she could have been reading.)