Okay people. The comma is NOT your friend.

[conuly]

I know I'm not exactly the Queen of Punctuation here, but I know that much.

Most of the time when people ask for punctuation help (well, they never do, always for grammar help, but punctuation is often what they mean) their real problem is the fact that they have too many commas.

Now, of course, there are any number of different schools of thought regarding the comma. At this point in my post you have a choice. You can go back to school and learn to punctuate properly or you can follow the "do I take a breath there" rule. The "take a breath" rule isn't perfect, and it sure won't allow you to distinguish between commas and semicolons and the like, but what it will do is allow you to avoid sentences like this:

I was, going, out to the, store.

Or like this:

I went, up the street, and then I saw a magic cowboy, and I, said I liked it.

Or this:

I,,,,, was,,,, typing,,, c,o,mm,a,s, with, wild, aban,don.,,,

*wince*

It's better to have too few commas than too many. And if you're really in doubt it's totally okay to separate your commariffic sentence into several short-short sentences instead. Easier to read, and they pack more of a punch!

Comments

[thornleaf.livejournal.com]

This,,,, makes me violently angry. I actually saw it on a professionally-made corporate website the other day and nearly lost it at work.

[tenou-k.livejournal.com]

I have a friend, who writes like this, and also capitalizes Things using some Impenetrable rule, I have yet to unravel.

[feebeeglee.livejournal.com]

This comment, made Me laugh, out Loud.

[siderea]

http://siderea.livejournal.com/491370.html?thread=3424362#t3424362

[ncp.livejournal.com]

I usually use the "commas go where you would pause" rule, and then once I'm done with the sentence I go back and remove most of them or replace them with periods and/or semicolons.

And now I have a run-on sentence with too many conjunctions...

[ncp.livejournal.com]

Let me try again...

I usually use the "commas go where you would pause" rule. Once I'm done with the sentence I remove most of them or replace them with periods and/or semicolons.

See what I did there?

Re: And now I have a run-on sentence with too many conjunctions...

[conuly]

Yes. I do.

Re: And now I have a run-on sentence with too many conjunctions...

[ncp.livejournal.com]

Everyone should follow my well-punctuated example!

[breakableheart.livejournal.com]

I cling to commas. Even when I know better.

[pne.livejournal.com]

You can go back to school and learn to punctuate properly

Is this even possible?

I thought that English comma rules weren't set in stone -- that's there's no rule (regardless of how complex) that provides the One True Way to add commas; but that, rather, commas are optional in some places and a stylistic decision.

It's true, though, that English tends to use fewer commas than -- say -- German. (A common mistake by German speakers is to use a comma before a subordinate clause, because German demands one there: "He told me, that he was not going to come tomorrow". Though in German's defence, they do also pause there in the equivalent German sentence, while English speakers don't pause there.)

[conuly]

To my understanding there may not be set in stone rules about when to use a comma but there certainly are rules about when not to use one.

English punctuation is almost as much a mess as our spelling, though, with the downside that it's not taught much in school at all.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

See the above Horrid Examples for how NOT to punctuate properly.

And to think that I once engaged in heated debate over the Oxford comma in English class....

[conuly]

I am a big fan of the serial comma. That's what I was taught in the first grade, with many helpful examples of disgusting sandwich combinations to illustrate the point.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I was, going to go, to the store, when my, breathing problems, started acting up, again.

... So, would that be okay?

[conuly]

For you? Anything goes :)

(And yeah, I guess that's a legitimate use of Weird Untypical Commas right there.)

[thornleaf.livejournal.com]

This,,,, makes me violently angry. I actually saw it on a professionally-made corporate website the other day and nearly lost it at work.

[tenou-k.livejournal.com]

I have a friend, who writes like this, and also capitalizes Things using some Impenetrable rule, I have yet to unravel.

[feebeeglee.livejournal.com]

This comment, made Me laugh, out Loud.

[siderea]

http://siderea.livejournal.com/491370.html?thread=3424362#t3424362

[(Anonymous)]

I usually use the "commas go where you would pause" rule, and then once I'm done with the sentence I go back and remove most of them or replace them with periods and/or semicolons.

And now I have a run-on sentence with too many conjunctions...

[(Anonymous)]

Let me try again...

I usually use the "commas go where you would pause" rule. Once I'm done with the sentence I remove most of them or replace them with periods and/or semicolons.

See what I did there?

Re: And now I have a run-on sentence with too many conjunctions...

[conuly]

Yes. I do.

Re: And now I have a run-on sentence with too many conjunctions...

[(Anonymous)]

Everyone should follow my well-punctuated example!

[breakableheart.livejournal.com]

I cling to commas. Even when I know better.

[pne.livejournal.com]

You can go back to school and learn to punctuate properly

Is this even possible?

I thought that English comma rules weren't set in stone -- that's there's no rule (regardless of how complex) that provides the One True Way to add commas; but that, rather, commas are optional in some places and a stylistic decision.

It's true, though, that English tends to use fewer commas than -- say -- German. (A common mistake by German speakers is to use a comma before a subordinate clause, because German demands one there: "He told me, that he was not going to come tomorrow". Though in German's defence, they do also pause there in the equivalent German sentence, while English speakers don't pause there.)

[conuly]

To my understanding there may not be set in stone rules about when to use a comma but there certainly are rules about when not to use one.

English punctuation is almost as much a mess as our spelling, though, with the downside that it's not taught much in school at all.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

See the above Horrid Examples for how NOT to punctuate properly.

And to think that I once engaged in heated debate over the Oxford comma in English class....

[conuly]

I am a big fan of the serial comma. That's what I was taught in the first grade, with many helpful examples of disgusting sandwich combinations to illustrate the point.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I was, going to go, to the store, when my, breathing problems, started acting up, again.

... So, would that be okay?

[conuly]

For you? Anything goes :)

(And yeah, I guess that's a legitimate use of Weird Untypical Commas right there.)