Why do people say/think this?

[conuly]

I see this every week or so, often twice a week in different journals and comms and fora.

A little boy likes to play with himself, and mom goes "Oh, if only he were a girl, he wouldn't do that!" or "Next one is gonna be a girl, she won't do that!" or "I wasn't prepared for this because, lol, I'm a girl!" or "Why do boys do this????"

Or, alternatively, a little girl likes to play with herself and mom goes "Oh, I didn't know girls did that too!" or "I thought only boys did that???" or "Why is my girl so weird, this is a boy thing, isn't it???"

...and every time people pipe up to say that yes, young girls do touch themselves, and yes, young girls *do* hump things, and yeah, that's one way in which boys and girls are NOT different (I've even heard it said that girls can be *worse* about touching themselves because, unlike boys, they'll keep at it even when the pants are on!), but clearly nobody reads what anybody else has to say, ever, because not a week later and...

"OMG! MY KID IS MASTURBATING AND IT'S TOTALLY A GENDERED PHENOMENON!"



The whole thing makes me wonder if people actually want to get feedback and advice and consolation, or if they really just like to hear themselves type.

I'm usually sympathetic... well, no, but I usually pretend to be sympathetic anyway - but this is starting to wear out my teeth, I'm grinding them so much!

Comments

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Girls are, in my opinion, more likely to 'get away with it', if only because female arousal isn't...quite so blindingly obvious as male generally is.

[ncp.livejournal.com]

I think it's because people can't wrap their heads around the idea that even little children are sexual beings. Once faced with that fact, they get all weirded out and try to rationalize it by talking about sex in a way that makes sense somehow.

Of course you sometimes get situations like my brother's. When he used to do that, my grandmother would say 'if you don't stop, I'll cut it off with a knife". Yes, she was joking, and yes, she was starting to go senile and didn't quite understand that you don't make jokes like that, but still... A few days later, my mother found my brother with a knife in his hand and his pants off, wanting to "see what would happen".

[ncp.livejournal.com]

One out of every two diaper changes, my 4 month old gets an erection. I'm quite sure he's not getting excited by anything except "Whee! No icky wet diaper!" :-D

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Somehow...that is hysterically adorable, and you just made my day. X)

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Frankly, I always feel sad to see mothers writing that, because it makes me think that they heard "girls don't do it" early enough that they themselves, well, don't. And then that, of course, leads to that whole icky construct we have of girls being gatekeepers and boys just being boys.

[conuly]

Frankly, I always feel sad to see mothers writing that, because it makes me think that they heard "girls don't do it" early enough that they themselves, well, don't.

I agree.

I'm reminded of an article I read on intersexed adults, and one woman who agreed to have her kid's enlarged clitoris cut off as a child because "well, mine wasn't very important to me", and I felt bad for her kid, and worse for her in a way.

[conuly]

You wouldn't say that if you'd ever seen Ana enjoying her own company.

[wakasplat.livejournal.com]

In girl scouts the troop leader had a baby.

She changed his diaper and he started playing with himself. A lot of the girls went "Ewwwww," and the leader just shrugged and said "It's his penis he can pull it if he wants to."

I wish everyone were that matter-of-fact.

[conuly]

Only problem with that is when they poo first, and the next thing you know it's all over the place, in the hair, in the ear, on your hands...

*shudders*

It was terrible... terrible I say!


But yeah, usually I'm just glad the little one has something to keep her busy while I'm trying to get my shit (no pun) organized (though now we're working (a lot) on the concept of Private Activities that we do In Our Room). Well, back when she wore diapers. (And you can believe my mother gets some sort of grandmotherly thrill of announcing to all and sundry that HER granddaughter is ALREADY out of diapers EVEN at night. It's nothing to do with any of us, of course, but she still likes to grin and brag.)

Man, that's a tangent. You know, it's dealing with little kids. Sooner or later everything becomes about the potty and them.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

::shrugs:: It's pretty-much the same as babies playing with their toes, in my opinion. "Oh, interesting body part! Let's see what this does!"

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

Only playing with your toes just isn't as rewarding.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

LMAO. My kids are in FIRM agreement with you on that one!

[pne.livejournal.com]

The whole thing makes me wonder if people actually want to get feedback and advice and consolation, or if they really just like to hear themselves type.

That's what I wondered when I had a look to see whether the Tab Mix Plus add-on for Firefox had been updated for FF 3.0.1.

I didn't read all 58 pages of the thread, but I did check the first page and the last two (or so), and I found a link which worked in one of those comments.

And lots of comments along the lines of 'Just wanted to let you know TMP doesn't work with FF 3.0.1' or 'Hey! TMP doesn't work with FF 3.0.1 any more! Fix it'. Sometimes right below a comments saying how to get it to work.

Also made me wonder whether they could actually read.

[conuly]

People used to tell children that if they sucked their thumbs, the scissorman would cut the thumb off.

Read a bit of Victorian parenting advice a few years back, it sticks in my head.

In order to avoid masturbation, parents were told to tuck their children in with their hands *out* of the blanket. But if the kid was a thumbsucker, they were supposed to tuck them with the hands *under*.

Which all seems to imply that thumbsucking is worse than masturbating, doesn't it?

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Girls are, in my opinion, more likely to 'get away with it', if only because female arousal isn't...quite so blindingly obvious as male generally is.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's because people can't wrap their heads around the idea that even little children are sexual beings. Once faced with that fact, they get all weirded out and try to rationalize it by talking about sex in a way that makes sense somehow.

Of course you sometimes get situations like my brother's. When he used to do that, my grandmother would say 'if you don't stop, I'll cut it off with a knife". Yes, she was joking, and yes, she was starting to go senile and didn't quite understand that you don't make jokes like that, but still... A few days later, my mother found my brother with a knife in his hand and his pants off, wanting to "see what would happen".

[(Anonymous)]

One out of every two diaper changes, my 4 month old gets an erection. I'm quite sure he's not getting excited by anything except "Whee! No icky wet diaper!" :-D

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

Somehow...that is hysterically adorable, and you just made my day. X)

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Frankly, I always feel sad to see mothers writing that, because it makes me think that they heard "girls don't do it" early enough that they themselves, well, don't. And then that, of course, leads to that whole icky construct we have of girls being gatekeepers and boys just being boys.

[conuly]

Frankly, I always feel sad to see mothers writing that, because it makes me think that they heard "girls don't do it" early enough that they themselves, well, don't.

I agree.

I'm reminded of an article I read on intersexed adults, and one woman who agreed to have her kid's enlarged clitoris cut off as a child because "well, mine wasn't very important to me", and I felt bad for her kid, and worse for her in a way.

[conuly]

You wouldn't say that if you'd ever seen Ana enjoying her own company.

[wakasplat.livejournal.com]

In girl scouts the troop leader had a baby.

She changed his diaper and he started playing with himself. A lot of the girls went "Ewwwww," and the leader just shrugged and said "It's his penis he can pull it if he wants to."

I wish everyone were that matter-of-fact.

[conuly]

Only problem with that is when they poo first, and the next thing you know it's all over the place, in the hair, in the ear, on your hands...

*shudders*

It was terrible... terrible I say!


But yeah, usually I'm just glad the little one has something to keep her busy while I'm trying to get my shit (no pun) organized (though now we're working (a lot) on the concept of Private Activities that we do In Our Room). Well, back when she wore diapers. (And you can believe my mother gets some sort of grandmotherly thrill of announcing to all and sundry that HER granddaughter is ALREADY out of diapers EVEN at night. It's nothing to do with any of us, of course, but she still likes to grin and brag.)

Man, that's a tangent. You know, it's dealing with little kids. Sooner or later everything becomes about the potty and them.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

::shrugs:: It's pretty-much the same as babies playing with their toes, in my opinion. "Oh, interesting body part! Let's see what this does!"

[velvetchamber.livejournal.com]

Only playing with your toes just isn't as rewarding.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

LMAO. My kids are in FIRM agreement with you on that one!

[pne.livejournal.com]

The whole thing makes me wonder if people actually want to get feedback and advice and consolation, or if they really just like to hear themselves type.

That's what I wondered when I had a look to see whether the Tab Mix Plus add-on for Firefox had been updated for FF 3.0.1.

I didn't read all 58 pages of the thread, but I did check the first page and the last two (or so), and I found a link which worked in one of those comments.

And lots of comments along the lines of 'Just wanted to let you know TMP doesn't work with FF 3.0.1' or 'Hey! TMP doesn't work with FF 3.0.1 any more! Fix it'. Sometimes right below a comments saying how to get it to work.

Also made me wonder whether they could actually read.

[conuly]

People used to tell children that if they sucked their thumbs, the scissorman would cut the thumb off.

Read a bit of Victorian parenting advice a few years back, it sticks in my head.

In order to avoid masturbation, parents were told to tuck their children in with their hands *out* of the blanket. But if the kid was a thumbsucker, they were supposed to tuck them with the hands *under*.

Which all seems to imply that thumbsucking is worse than masturbating, doesn't it?