Ah, I love the Onion sometimes!

[conuly]

Area man thinks infant son might be gay.

My mother told the story about a neighbor they had once, who was convinced that his son was going to grow up to be gay, because at two years old he liked to play with soft toys. And he was a doctor, so of course he knew!

Joke is, one of his sons was gay. Just wasn't that one.

Comments

[thren0dy.livejournal.com]

Oh NO! Not ... GAY!!!!

It freaks me out to hear about parents worrying that their kid might turn out to be gay, but I never seem to hear about parents worrying that one day their kid might grow up to have cancer or liver failure.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

The next time someone says something that inane, I'll have to ask them about that.

"One of these things is not like the other. Two of them could kill you! --No, no, being gay is not anymore fatal than living in the first place. Oi."

[bastardsword.livejournal.com]

My friend gay. Apparently, when he was young, he told his mother that he never wanted to see a vagina because they sounded really scary.

She, being traditional, decided to ban him from ever having male friends to try to 'de-gay' him, or at least prevent him from becoming gay.

Now he's just stereotypically gay.

[conuly]

*starts singing*

Vagina dentata! What a wonderful phrase!
Vagina dentata! Ain't no passing craaaaaaze!
It means no weiner, for the rest of your days!
It's a penis-free! Girl cavity! Vagina dentata!

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

...You WIN.

Holy cow. That's possibly the scariest song ever.

And of course, since it's to the tune of something I know, it's going to be stuck in my head all day.

You WIN.

[conuly]

Taken from Queen of Wands comic.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

oh no! does seth playing with his doll and stroller mean he's going to be *gasp* gay? although...i do love the way people look at him and what they say when they see him at the park with said toys.

THEM: "Your son is going to be gay when he grows up if he keeps playing with girl toys"

ME: "why does your daughter play with dolls?"

THEM: "she playing mommy"

ME: "he's playing daddy!"

I get nasty looks after that. then again i also usually add, well at least he likes playing with dolls. maybe then he'll like playing with his kids.

[thren0dy.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, nice. :)

Anyway, most little boys DO play with dolls, they just call them "action figures." Almost every guy I know played with "dolls" as a child - He-Man, G.I. Joe, etc. except my brother, who played with Matchbox cars.

[conuly]

Lizziey, sometimes I love you.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

you! xiggs coming monday, i will try to call your mom tomorrow night, and talk to her about I maybe just moving teh stuff to the basement with the rest until chris can get here to move it. even that right now is pushing it for my physically but it needs be done for xiggs.
i don't suppose 'dul would be willing to help if he's still there? i'm willing to pay. shit, i'd pay YOU!

[rainbow-goddess.livejournal.com]

My brother actually tried to forbid his son to play with dolls (his rather more sensible wife overruled him) because he thought it would either make his son gay, or make people think his son was gay. Not sure which.

I played with both cars and dolls as a kid. Is that what made me turn out bisexual?

[leora.livejournal.com]

Yup, clearly. My mother wouldn't buy "male toys" for me and I turned out straight. I was massively bored throughout large chunks of my childhood, but I'm straight. And everyone knows that two anecdotal bits of correlation equal causation.

Although my doll houses were actually cool. I had two. One my brother rigged to have real electrical lighting, which was nifty. And the other had a little pulley system to give it a hand-pulled elevator. The dolls themselves were rather pointless, but the doll houses were somewhat fun.

[azarias.livejournal.com]

See I always played with dinosaurs any ponies, who waged an epic war in the cardboard box city.

Maybe that's why I turned out ... whatever.

[thren0dy.livejournal.com]

Oh NO! Not ... GAY!!!!

It freaks me out to hear about parents worrying that their kid might turn out to be gay, but I never seem to hear about parents worrying that one day their kid might grow up to have cancer or liver failure.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

The next time someone says something that inane, I'll have to ask them about that.

"One of these things is not like the other. Two of them could kill you! --No, no, being gay is not anymore fatal than living in the first place. Oi."

[bastardsword.livejournal.com]

My friend gay. Apparently, when he was young, he told his mother that he never wanted to see a vagina because they sounded really scary.

She, being traditional, decided to ban him from ever having male friends to try to 'de-gay' him, or at least prevent him from becoming gay.

Now he's just stereotypically gay.

[conuly]

*starts singing*

Vagina dentata! What a wonderful phrase!
Vagina dentata! Ain't no passing craaaaaaze!
It means no weiner, for the rest of your days!
It's a penis-free! Girl cavity! Vagina dentata!

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

...You WIN.

Holy cow. That's possibly the scariest song ever.

And of course, since it's to the tune of something I know, it's going to be stuck in my head all day.

You WIN.

[conuly]

Taken from Queen of Wands comic.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

oh no! does seth playing with his doll and stroller mean he's going to be *gasp* gay? although...i do love the way people look at him and what they say when they see him at the park with said toys.

THEM: "Your son is going to be gay when he grows up if he keeps playing with girl toys"

ME: "why does your daughter play with dolls?"

THEM: "she playing mommy"

ME: "he's playing daddy!"

I get nasty looks after that. then again i also usually add, well at least he likes playing with dolls. maybe then he'll like playing with his kids.

[thren0dy.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, nice. :)

Anyway, most little boys DO play with dolls, they just call them "action figures." Almost every guy I know played with "dolls" as a child - He-Man, G.I. Joe, etc. except my brother, who played with Matchbox cars.

[conuly]

Lizziey, sometimes I love you.

[lizziey.livejournal.com]

you! xiggs coming monday, i will try to call your mom tomorrow night, and talk to her about I maybe just moving teh stuff to the basement with the rest until chris can get here to move it. even that right now is pushing it for my physically but it needs be done for xiggs.
i don't suppose 'dul would be willing to help if he's still there? i'm willing to pay. shit, i'd pay YOU!

[rainbow-goddess.livejournal.com]

My brother actually tried to forbid his son to play with dolls (his rather more sensible wife overruled him) because he thought it would either make his son gay, or make people think his son was gay. Not sure which.

I played with both cars and dolls as a kid. Is that what made me turn out bisexual?

[leora.livejournal.com]

Yup, clearly. My mother wouldn't buy "male toys" for me and I turned out straight. I was massively bored throughout large chunks of my childhood, but I'm straight. And everyone knows that two anecdotal bits of correlation equal causation.

Although my doll houses were actually cool. I had two. One my brother rigged to have real electrical lighting, which was nifty. And the other had a little pulley system to give it a hand-pulled elevator. The dolls themselves were rather pointless, but the doll houses were somewhat fun.

[azarias.livejournal.com]

See I always played with dinosaurs any ponies, who waged an epic war in the cardboard box city.

Maybe that's why I turned out ... whatever.