A LanguageLog post on "The Female Brain", new edition.

[conuly]

What really struck me is the quote from the book...:

"Thoughts about sex enter a woman’s brain perhaps once a day, but in a man every time he sees an attractive woman."

Really?

Let's have a quick, informal poll....

[Poll #961483]

Please... be honest. Remember, this is for posterity.

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I think age may be more indicative than gender. I think about it maybe once a day, tops, in the morning. When the physical urge hits me. It's almost like having to pee or sneeze. Take care of business, I'm done, and that's that.

And I bet Dan doesn't think of sex much either. Despite being so far apart, we've had trips together, where he's come home, and we've gone the entire time without any. We just have little interest in sex.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I just asked Dan, biological man, age 37 (six months younger than me) and he said 'well, not constantly!' and I said "well how many times then" and he replied, "20-30 times a day".

?!?!?!?!

I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED. To me he has the lowest sex drive of any man I have ever met.

Yes, I actually called him for that.

[conuly]

*giggles*

Well, there you have it.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

I agree that age may be more indicative than gender. It could be my biological clock (doubtful) or it could just be because as a young woman my sexdrive is going "OMG WHEEEE" all the time.

Once a day? Too low. Way too low.

[ysabel.livejournal.com]

I have days where it's constantly, but I would say on average it's slightly less than once an hour. And days where I end up playing with myself five or six times, but usually it's around once a day.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Ditto on the age thing - I don't know why it's only teenage boys who have a reputation for hormones and randiness, because when I was in high school I probably thought about sex a hundred times more in a day than I do right now, and if the old wives' tales were true, my glasses would be twice as thick and I'd be shaving my palms. Mind, I also wasn't so busy in high school - unfortunately, for those of us without attention-deficit issues, sometimes there's just not enough time in the day to think about sex a hundred times. :-D

[arazia.livejournal.com]

I agree that age has a lot to do with it, but also circumstances. There was a time when I was on a medication that just killed my sex drive. It was like 'oh penis, whatever' x.x

Since I got off that medication, I consider things to be more 'normal'. I also think it has to do with having a relationship or not. Like, if you have a ready supply of sex as opposed to not having it. When I wasn't in a relationship, I thought about it a lot less, because what's the point about thinking of something you can't get?

Anyways, right now, I'm 25 (nearly 26). I guess I think about it maybe 3-6 times a day. Usually in the evening before bed, when my fiance does anything remotely arousing, or when our rpg-characters get intimate. I asked him, and he's a 20 year old male... he said he thinks of it consiously about three times a day. In the morning when he wakes up, in the afternoon at some point before I get home, and in the evening while we're in bed, and he added the priviso that also when our rpg-characters get intimate.

Honest answer there for yas.

[ser-kai.livejournal.com]

I answered for how I am right now but I have gone through long periods of asexuality in the past. I seem to gravitate towards either extreme.

[adina77.livejournal.com]

I think about sex once a day. But down there wants to think about it all the time. Rob on the other hand, well, he isn't a normal male. He doesn't think about sex all the time (at least I dont think he does) and definitely doesn't want it all the time. Once a week is good enough for him.

I think as well age has to do with it rather than the gender. A female can think about sex as much as a male does. And vice versa. But once I take the anatomy and Physiology of reproduction, i should ask this question :)

[rho]

I honestly have no idea how often I think about sex. I don't tend to keep a record of such things. Plus, what counts as thinking about sex? Does thinking about it in an academic sort of way count, or does it have to be an "I want to have sex" sort of thought? How about sexual arousal without particularly fantasising or thinking about sex? What if I think about sex for 2 seconds and then stop? Is that the same as thinking about it none stop for an hour? How about for 2 seconds every ten minutes for an hour? I honestly haven't a clue how to answer this sort of question.

[conuly]

I... I... I...

I have no idea what the original statement meant now. And I thought I *did* know, too! I'm sorry, but thank you.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

There's no "less than once a day" answer for the frequency question. I'm at something like 2 or 3 times a week, if that.

Things are wonderfully satisfying when we do play. I just don't think about it all that often, and am probably on the low end of the scale for activity.

35yo female, two kids (one 10, one 14), part time night job and a husband with a full time night job. No incredible amounts of stress, no major health problems for anyone.

If someone comes up with a drug for females that works on desire, as opposed to localized blood flow or physical sensitivity, sign me up. Not so much because I care about me, but because I think it would make my husband happier.

[deceptica]

Yeah, it would be less than once a day for me too.

[kayt-arminta.livejournal.com]

Though, I don't masturbate because of the relationship we have, it has nothing to do with my sex drive.

[appadil.livejournal.com]

Just in case it's relevant: Female, 22 years old, and generally asexual.

By "thinking about sex", do you mean actual fantasizing and getting aroused, or just thinking about the act itself? If it's the former, I essentially don't think about sex ever. If it's the latter, the amount I think about sex varies greatly depending on what I've been reading/conversing/thinking about on any given day. This poll, for example, is making me think about sex, as is the documentary on TV right now about aphid reproduction.

[conuly]

*obligatory comment about how HAWT aphid sex is*

I mean whatever the author meant, but I don't have her around to ask.

[marveen.livejournal.com]

And if that is indeed a true quote from the book, verbatim, it is couched in dangerously unscientific phrasing. One would think that any reputable author would have said something like "On average, thoughts about sex ..." or "In general, thoughts ..." or "By and large, thoughts..." or even "...enter most women's brains..."

Next the author will tell us that all women are more emotional, less logical, talk a lot and are bad at math. Pfahh.

[conuly]

One would think lots of things, but one would mostly be wrong, wouldn't one?

[grammaravenger.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wasn't sure how to count "how many times." If I space out and think about sex for 30 seconds in class, then pay attention to lecture for two minutes, have another brief thought, and then space out again ten minutes later, does that count as thinking about sex three times, or two times, or one, or...? (And what if you're just thinking about making out? Or things other than intercourse? Does that still count?)

Anyway, I went for the higher end of thought-counts, as much out of contrariness as anything.

[elfster.livejournal.com]

Me? Not very often but then I have little or no sex-drive. I don't even have a visceral response to watching sex scenes in films or anything. I just get kinda bored :p.

[conuly]

Well, sex scenes in films are pretty damn boring.

[badvibe.livejournal.com]

All that 'Women don't get turned on by X' things are always so weird. Like men are varied but horny constantly and women aren't.

I've been thinking of sex for as long as I can remember, and I, HOLY CRAP, get turned on by porn!

It makes me think that these people who say 'Women aren't turned on by looks alone' have never actually known a woman.

[badvibe.livejournal.com]

Never known many women, I should say. Can't brain today.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I think age may be more indicative than gender. I think about it maybe once a day, tops, in the morning. When the physical urge hits me. It's almost like having to pee or sneeze. Take care of business, I'm done, and that's that.

And I bet Dan doesn't think of sex much either. Despite being so far apart, we've had trips together, where he's come home, and we've gone the entire time without any. We just have little interest in sex.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I just asked Dan, biological man, age 37 (six months younger than me) and he said 'well, not constantly!' and I said "well how many times then" and he replied, "20-30 times a day".

?!?!?!?!

I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED. To me he has the lowest sex drive of any man I have ever met.

Yes, I actually called him for that.

[conuly]

*giggles*

Well, there you have it.

[wodhaund.livejournal.com]

I agree that age may be more indicative than gender. It could be my biological clock (doubtful) or it could just be because as a young woman my sexdrive is going "OMG WHEEEE" all the time.

Once a day? Too low. Way too low.

[ysabel.livejournal.com]

I have days where it's constantly, but I would say on average it's slightly less than once an hour. And days where I end up playing with myself five or six times, but usually it's around once a day.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Ditto on the age thing - I don't know why it's only teenage boys who have a reputation for hormones and randiness, because when I was in high school I probably thought about sex a hundred times more in a day than I do right now, and if the old wives' tales were true, my glasses would be twice as thick and I'd be shaving my palms. Mind, I also wasn't so busy in high school - unfortunately, for those of us without attention-deficit issues, sometimes there's just not enough time in the day to think about sex a hundred times. :-D

[arazia.livejournal.com]

I agree that age has a lot to do with it, but also circumstances. There was a time when I was on a medication that just killed my sex drive. It was like 'oh penis, whatever' x.x

Since I got off that medication, I consider things to be more 'normal'. I also think it has to do with having a relationship or not. Like, if you have a ready supply of sex as opposed to not having it. When I wasn't in a relationship, I thought about it a lot less, because what's the point about thinking of something you can't get?

Anyways, right now, I'm 25 (nearly 26). I guess I think about it maybe 3-6 times a day. Usually in the evening before bed, when my fiance does anything remotely arousing, or when our rpg-characters get intimate. I asked him, and he's a 20 year old male... he said he thinks of it consiously about three times a day. In the morning when he wakes up, in the afternoon at some point before I get home, and in the evening while we're in bed, and he added the priviso that also when our rpg-characters get intimate.

Honest answer there for yas.

[ser-kai.livejournal.com]

I answered for how I am right now but I have gone through long periods of asexuality in the past. I seem to gravitate towards either extreme.

[adina77.livejournal.com]

I think about sex once a day. But down there wants to think about it all the time. Rob on the other hand, well, he isn't a normal male. He doesn't think about sex all the time (at least I dont think he does) and definitely doesn't want it all the time. Once a week is good enough for him.

I think as well age has to do with it rather than the gender. A female can think about sex as much as a male does. And vice versa. But once I take the anatomy and Physiology of reproduction, i should ask this question :)

[rho]

I honestly have no idea how often I think about sex. I don't tend to keep a record of such things. Plus, what counts as thinking about sex? Does thinking about it in an academic sort of way count, or does it have to be an "I want to have sex" sort of thought? How about sexual arousal without particularly fantasising or thinking about sex? What if I think about sex for 2 seconds and then stop? Is that the same as thinking about it none stop for an hour? How about for 2 seconds every ten minutes for an hour? I honestly haven't a clue how to answer this sort of question.

[conuly]

I... I... I...

I have no idea what the original statement meant now. And I thought I *did* know, too! I'm sorry, but thank you.