conuly

Ana, my friend the cradle robber, has a young admirer in her Friday toddler program. His name is Zack.

Well, Zack at one point attempted to leave the room by (uselessly) playing with the door. His mom and I called him back rather apathetically, secure in the knowledge that he couldn't get out anyway.

Wait! A child on the loose? This is no job for mere grownups! No, this is a job for...

SUPER ANA!

Faster than a crawling baby! More powerful than a wayward humongo-ball! She can leap small puddles in a single bound!

*runrunrunrunrun*

Zack! NO! Don't go near the door!

*pulls Zack from door*

You can't do that! No!

*bars door off with body, bravely fending the other child's whines*

Zack! You could hurt yourself, okay? Don't do that. You don't do that. Let's go to Mommy! There's your Mommy! Let's go to your Mommy together! Here, hold my hand!

And thus, the day is saved, by... ANA!

*****

Later, in the County of Richmond!

Ah, a fine day on Snug Harbor. The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting, the toddlers are escaping from the museum carrying wagons...

Wait? Escaping toddlers? Where?

Me: Honey? Where's your mom?

Oh no! There is no adult in sight! (Well, there's me, but I hardly count in this drama!) And he's heading for the parking lot! WHO WILL SAVE HIM???

Quick! What's that? Out on the grass - it's a squirrel! It's a nut! No, it's ANA! Never fear, Ana is here!

Ana: *runrunrunrunrun*
Cape: *flutterflutterflutterflutterflutter*
Ana: Yittle boy! Stop!
Responsible adults: *walk into view*
Ana: *grabs wagon* Don't go in the parking lot! It's not safe!
Boy: *freaks out, tries to snatch wagon back*
Responsible adults: No, no, honey! Share! You can share your wagon!
Me: *cracks up laughing*
Ana: The cars! The cars can't see you! Stay here! Don't go in the parking lot!
Boy: *whines*
Ana: Let's go to your mom, okay? NO! NOT THE PARKING LOT! *jumps in front of boy*
Me: It's okay - he's fine. His parents are here, honey.
Ana: *reluctantly leaves the kid's side*
Cars: *don't kill little boy*

Well, she tries, anyway. She really takes this "big kid" responsibility seriously, that's for sure.