conuly

(names changed to protect the stupid)

I found these while browsing the most recent posts feature...

_{weLl this is my first entry!

every1 was like makin these things and lyk writtin in them everyday so i decided jus ta do tha same and i dno made 1...so yeh ne ways..todai was good...went ta skoo and like did nun boring day..then melis came ova afta wards and we did tha usual tradtion of playin our gay gammeesss lolol then i went ta my grandmothas and now did nun

i am in sucha goo mood for once..i have been sucha bitch latly ta every1 and im so ova it now so i feel so much better! =)..even tho now i gut like ppl not talkin ta me cuz i was sucha bitch o wells lol...and freddy im sry hun i love u lol...n thea lyk rumors going around the skoo bout lyk all my grlfriend..no1 belive them cuz ppl are gay n like ta say shit..wutever i aint gettin into it...!

yah well i needa boyfriend cuz its xmas and every1 is like hugging and buy pl stuff n im like alone hha...every1 i like has like prblems i dno..they are gay tha ppl i like..ait well im guna go..ill updat lata byes}

My eyes bleed. I'm not sure which is worst... the noncapitalization, or the lack of punctuation, or the evil chtspk. Or possibly the fact that none of this makes sense! Even translated, this is what it says:

_{Well, this is my first entry! Everyone was making these things and writing in them daily, so I decided to make one too. Today was good, I went to school and did a nun... pretty boring. it was both good AND boring? Then melis came over and we played our gay games are those like reindeer games? and went to my grandmothers, where we did ANOTHER nun. I'm in a good mood for once, sorry for being a bitch, now I feel better and your friends do too, I'm sure, but they don't matter And freddy, I love you, ignore the rumors, they're spread by jealous gay people even though I admitted to doing stuff with both melis and TWO NUNS you should ignore them And now I need a boyfriend because it's christmas so I'm sure santa will bring me one and leave him under the tree... and who's freddy? but everyone I know has problems, they're all gay because they don't want to date a smart chick like me.}

What IS that? It's driveling nonsense!

Urg. Okay, we can try the next one. Beware, the horrors are almost as bad:

_{OH SHIT OH SHIT
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT....
LETS JUST SAY I HAVE A HUMUNGO GIRL BONER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.

wheres megan mu butt silveria when i need her?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! COME HAVE SEX WITH ME NOWWWWWWWWWW

ohshit oh shit oh shit
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥}

The original was written in 20pt font, bold. *shudders* Hasn't this guy ever heard of the concept of TOO MUCH INFORMATION? I have to go gouge out my eyes now and wash my mind with soap, hold on....

Okay. Ick. There's a reason that's hidden behind a cut, and it's not just because the creator didn't give me permission to use it (no link, found randomly, fair game). *shudders*

The next guy isn't nearly as pathetic, but I still have a question...

_{Test entry!
lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa

lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa

lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa

lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa

lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-Test 1 2}

WHY NOT JUST POST SOMETHING??? AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Why have a livejournal if you don't want to actually post?

And finally....

_{I don't need a reason to hate you like I do
Hi. This is my first entry in my new live journal. It is dedicated to the sole purpose of anonymous communication/ aggravation of the one they sometimes call Tami. Today I just came to tell Tami what a horrible parent she is for her disposition to violence and child abuse. Specifically, breaking mirrors over her children's heads and/or allowing Johnny to come anywhere near them. That's all for today Tami. Might we suggest taking anger management and learning some POSITIVE parenting skills?}

Can I report this person to LJ Abuse even though I do not know the particulars? The nerve of him/her, suggesting somebody ELSE take anger management classes. If you think somebody is an abusive parent, you tell the cops, you don't harass them on livejournal!

There were also a large number of people telling an even larger group of people to fuck off or to go screw themselves.

I don't understand this. Don't most people like fucking? Doesn't our culture put a high priority on it, and obsess over it? So WHY IS IT USED AS A CURSEWORD? I just don't get it. Next time somebody tells me "fuck you" I think I'll just say "thanks!" or something. Or maybe I should stick to my standard "you're not my type"... but people don't seem to get that one....