Oh boy...

[conuly]

I can't even comment on this one. People actually *believe* this?

And then, they wonder why kids leave the faith when they grow up. I don't think it's because of a lack of guilt and fear....

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

I have a link, somewhere, about good shame.

Not the sort of shame of being gay, or having been abused or whatever, but the shame that you should feel when you've hurt someone, or damaged someone, things like that -- it seems that people go from one extreme to another.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I had a discussion like this elsewhere, and pretty much agree with someone else's sentiment:

Shame is never good. It only weakens a person or motivates them to hide. It does not motivate them to improve.

Guilt can be good. If you feel guilty for actually doing something wrong, you may make things better.

But I see no value in shame. The trick is t hat people will tend to mix shame and guilt together because they are clearly related.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Gah, I hate my brain. Sorry, I always think of that one more thought just as I click to submit...

I think a key difference is that shame is generally what makes a person feel like they are bad. This only leads to weakness. And it takes strength to act ethically.

Guilt makes a person feel like they did a bad thing, acted badly. And that you can recover from and fix.

If you're bad and dirty, it's hopless. How can a bad, dirty person like you ever make things good. If you acted poorly, you can be a good person who can fix things, learn to be better, apologize, try to make it up, and be good.

[rantinan.livejournal.com]

"If you're bad and dirty, it's hopless."


You do NOT want to know what thaughts that inspired.


I'll just say, a good dominant sees that as good starting point for rebuilding.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, okay, possible. But I'd say that's playing in dangerous territory and shouldn't be done carelessly. And is probably a really bad idea to venture into solo with no one clueful and loving around to help you through it.

[rantinan.livejournal.com]

Well yes to all of your points. I usualy dont et em untill they are broken tho. I know about the after, not the before.