*sighs*

[conuly]

This was originally posted in asperger.

Ten Things Every Child Person with Autism Wishes You Knew

I know what they mean, but please. Can we stop always talking about "children with autism"? Because children grow up, and become adults, and then are promptly forgotten by the rest of the world.

By Ellen Notbohm
South Florida Parenting

Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute, the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it.

The weather is baffling. Quantum physics is baffling. Quidditch scoring is baffling. The common cold is baffling (if predictable).

The child who lives with autism may look "normal," but his or her behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.

Not to put too find a point on it, but the behaviour of most kids can be perplexing and downright difficult. Just sayin'....

Today, the citadel of autism, once thought an "incurable" disorder, is cracking around the foundation.

We have a citadel? Since when? I WANNA SEE!!! Does it have a cool name, like "Fortress of DOOM (and Solitude)"?

Yes, I'm being silly. It's a lot easier than going on about "incurable disorder".

Every day, individuals with autism show us they can overcome, compensate for, and otherwise manage many of the condition's most challenging aspects.

That's not the same as a cure.

Equipping those around our children with a simple understanding of autism's most basic elements has a tremendous effect on the children's journey towards productive, independent adulthood.

Well, yes, but... no. I'll leave somebody else to go on and on about the idea of people actually being independant.

Autism is an extremely complex disorder, but we can distill it to three critical components: sensory processing difficulties, speech/language delays and impairments, and whole child/social interaction issues.

Here are 10 things every child with autism wishes you knew.

Oh boy...

1. I am a child with autism. I am not "autistic." My autism is one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)?

But I *am* autistic. Just like I'm (probably) straight (not a person with heterosexuality), smart (not a person with intelligence), and 22 (not a person with 22 years of age, except in certain languages which aren't English). I'm also clumsy, and think that "uncoordinated" is just as bad.

Now, even if I wished to argue that all these things don't define me, I'd still be against the concept of "person-first language". It's stupid. Did you hear me? STUPID. Nobody talks like that. If I'm tall, I'm a tall person, if I'm short, I'm a short person, if I'm white, I'm a white person, if I'm black, I'm a black person, and so on. Messing with the standard word order and making the phrase longer just emphasizes the supposedly "bad" trait instead of my personhood. No, really. So quit it.

2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. This means the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday life that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you, but I am really just trying to defend myself. A "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me. My hearing may be hyperacute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today's special. Muzak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough. A coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input, and I'm in overload! My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they're mopping up pickles on Aisle 3 with ammonia. ... I can't sort it all out, I'm too nauseous.

I tend to say that it's not so much that my senses are disordered (I'm not a synesthesiate here) as that other people lack the ability to see/hear/smell properly. That's not your fault, you can't help it.

Because I am visually oriented, this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is too bright. It makes the room pulsate and hurts my eyes. Sometimes the pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing. The space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion, too many items for me to be able to focus - and I may compensate with tunnel vision. All this affects my vestibular sense, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space. I may stumble, bump into things, or simply lay down to try and regroup.

I'm not visually oriented. This is a myth. Many autistics are visually oriented, but that doesn't mean that all autistics are, or that no NTs are. There's no good that comes from pretending that autistics are a monolithic group of people who all perceive things in the same way.

On that subject, not all autistics are hypersensitive to everything. Some are hyposensitive. I am sometimes hypersensitive to touch (don't touch me, I'll jump, might break your nose) but at other times I'm hyposensitive, I end up in the shower trying to figure out where I got this cut or that bruise. I'm torn as to which is better....

3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I'm not able to). Receptive and expressive language are both difficult for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*" Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it's much easier for me to comply.

No comment here.

4. I am a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is, "This will be easy for you to do." When you say, "It's pouring cats and dogs," I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me, "It's raining very hard." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres and sarcasm are lost on me.

Actually, many autistics tend towards sarcasm. I think it's the most common form of humor out there :) As for idioms, puns, etc. - the solution is to teach your kids explicitly what those mean, and that they have non-literal meanings. Though it's certainly polite to not talk over somebody's head.

5. Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused, but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation, or other signs that something is wrong.

I'd imagine this is true for people who have a limited vocabulary, so no comment.

There's a flip side to this: I may sound like a little professor or a movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits, because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, television or the speech of other people. It's called echolalia. I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using, I just know it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

ARG! Okay. "sounding like a little professor" is different from echolalia. The first involves knowing what you're talking about, and understanding the words. The other... well, I've never done that, so I'll leave somebody else to comment.

6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of patient repetition helps me learn.

I'm not visually oriented (and language isn't difficult for me, but that doesn't matter as I don't think the two things are related). Remember what I said about monolithic people? Yeah, stop it.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day planner, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transitions between activities, and helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. Here's a great web site for learning more about visual schedules http://www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/newweb/content/rsn/autism.asp

That's a good idea if it's actually helpful for the person in question. Not everybody is helped by the same things. Can we *please* stop pretending otherwise?

7. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough or that I need fixing. Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however constructive, becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you'll find them. There's more than one right way to do most things.

Perfectly sensible.

8. Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply don't know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, I may be delighted to be included.

Or I might not. Sometimes, people really *don't* want to play with the other kids on the playground, or would like to play doing anything other than stupid sports.

9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. This is termed "the antecedent." Meltdowns, blowups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented.

More sense. It's hard to dislike the author, because she tries so very hard.

10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts such as, "If he would just ..." and "Why can't she ... ?" You didn't fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you, and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I didn't choose to have autism. Remember that it's happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you I'm worth it.

Nobody chooses to be who they are. Can we not imply that the choice would be different if we had a choice?

It all comes down to three words: Patience. Patience. Patience.

Y'know, that's one word, repeated three times :P

Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates, or pass judgment on other people?

Confession here: I lie. I don't like to, but I certainly do. Oh, and when growing up, I tattled *all the time*. People do something wrong, they shouldn't. Which I guess is the same as my passing judgment on them.... hm....

You are my foundation. Think through some of those societal rules, and if they don't make sense for me, let them go. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.

Aw. I think that I've had enough sugar for today now that I've read this.

I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan, but with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

Or Bill Gates?

They had autism too.

We. Don't. Know. That.

Now, I'll agree that there is a substantial amount of information on Einstein that suggests he was on the spectrum, but no such wealth of resources exists for Mozart or Van Gogh (both of whom, we should remember, died miserable and poor. One of them died crazy).

Wow, I'm pissy today.

Edit: I decided to give this piece a final grade. Except then I didn't know what grade to give. On the one hand, it's really trying hard to encourage more tolerance, and it does have some good advice in there. On the other hand, the author makes the classic mistake of assuming that all people from a group are the same, and has some *serious* vocabulary issues. And, of course, despite lip service to the idea that autism != only bad things, there's really very little indication of this in the piece until the very end - and that's more than balanced by the "your child didn't choose to have autism" and "now we've got some cure ideas" that are in there.

So I can't really grade this. Sorry.

Comments

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Today, the citadel of autism, once thought an "incurable" disorder, is cracking around the foundation.

We have a citadel? Since when? I WANNA SEE!!! Does it have a cool name, like "Fortress of DOOM (and Solitude)"?

I SO want to metaquotes this. May I? :)

[conuly]

Sure thing.

some literal thoughts

[farraige.livejournal.com]

a limited vocabulary. anyone's vocabulary is, by definition, limited, unless it happens to include and make active use of (competence-performance, remember?) of every single lexical item that exists within the particular linguistic system.

come to UCL to read for your Master's, it'll be fun :))

Re: some literal thoughts

[conuly]

On the *other* hand, because we can form new words and coinages all the time, couldn't our potential vocabularies all be, by definition, unlimited and infinite?

Either way, you get a cookie for being so cool. *cookies thee*

Re: some literal thoughts

[beetlebomb.livejournal.com]

A limited vocabulary indeed!! Hah! Well whoever wrote that article can put this in her pipe and smoke it in some fine style!

Three rodents with defective vision, three rodents with defective vision,
observe the manner in which they perambulate, observe the manner in which they perambulate,
The whole congregation perambulates after the mate of the agricultural specialist,
who surgically amputated their posterior extensions with a sharp kitchen utencil
Did you ever witness such an astonishing phenomenon in your entire existance on God's Earth,
As Three Rodents with defective vision!

Then again that was probably an example of mimicry or rote learning skills, at the risk of sounding pedantic! BWAH-HAH-HAH!! :)

[blackjackrocket.livejournal.com]

Where *did* this whole thing come from of autistics not having a sense of humor? Also the thing about us being incapable of lying? I've known some *extremely* devious Aspies...

And it makes me sick when I hear it *from* Aspies. Shouldn't we know better?

Oh yeah, and this:

Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch."

When people say stuff like that to me, it *pisses me off*. Why? Because they're TREATING ME LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. I'm TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR and people still do this to me!

[conuly]

When people say stuff like that to me, it *pisses me off*. Why? Because they're TREATING ME LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. I'm TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR and people still do this to me!

I'm torn. I understand and appreciate it if I'm having trouble understanding what they've been saying. Otherwise, though, I can handle complex thoughts. No, really.

Better to just take your individual child into account and tailor your language to their needs.

[literalgirl.livejournal.com]

You may have known Aspies good at lying, but I can state that in my own experience and for virtually ALL of the spectrum people I have known, that is the exception, not the rule.

Adherence to rules, logic, and routine is typical, and prevarication and deception, atypical. You can disagree, but *this* particular generalization exists with reason.

My son, HFA, is 12, and is experimenting with lying once in a while. With very little success. I myself, at 37, still find it INCREDIBLY difficult to lie, even over simple, small things, and I quit my job earlier this year (after 9.5 years) because I got a new supervisor who expected me to routinely lie as part of doing my job well (read: covering his ass because he is incompetent). I can't do it, and if I HAVE to, I am apt to have a panic attack.

BTW, I think still speaking to you like that at your age shows a fault in your parents, NOT a fault with this approach for young autistic children. The advice to speak to autistic CHILDREN concretely and use their names (or a gentle touch) in order to gain their attention is solid, well-documented advice.

[l33tminion]

Well put. I keep seeing you around LJ... mind if I friend you?

[conuly]

Go ahead.

[literalgirl.livejournal.com]

"sounding like a little professor" is different from echolalia. The first involves knowing what you're talking about, and understanding the words. The other... well, I've never done that, so I'll leave somebody else to comment.

My son had an interesting manifestation of echolalia. He would say phrases that pertained to specific situations or needs, as represented in the source material, but use his echolalia to COMMUNICATE with me. Very much like the aliens in the Star Trek:TNG episode Darmok (http://stng.36el.com/st-tng/episodes/202.html) used metaphor to communicate. (Excellent episode, btw :-) ). I had much beter luck, being mom, I suppose, than anyone else, in figuring out the associations between the things he was saying and what he was trying to communicate. But it *did* work! :-)

Not sure that all autistic kids' echolalia has this kind of purpose, but Bolt's did. Especially when he was younger. By 7 or so, he'd "do" tv commercials and things he heard on the radio, but I don't think in those cases it was the same as when he was little, where there was clearly intent. And by that age, the other kids around thought it was cool how he could do that (repeat everything), so sometimes he'd do it because they asked him to.

[azurelunatic]

I just figured out something that might be an appropriate "normal" explanation of why autistic kids/people understand something, and still use someone else's words to say it.

It's a lot like going out and buying the right greeting card. Why do so many people go out and buy greeting cards? Because someone else has already said it better than they ever could, and in some situations, eloquence counts.

Of course, this makes me want to write someone who only speaks in Shakespeare verses.

[moonkitty2003.livejournal.com]

Found my way here via metaquotes and all I have to say is that who ever said that people with autism can not lie needs to meet my autistic son. He can lie. I can watch him color on the wall and then catch him in the act, and say "Josh did you just color on that wall" While he still has the crayon in his hand he will look me in the eye and say "NO! Josie (his sister) did it"

[calieber.livejournal.com]

I think NTs think that autistics have special moral abilities to "make up for" the cognitive differences.

[lilnik.livejournal.com]

Now, even if I wished to argue that all these things don't define me, I'd still be against the concept of "person-first language". It's stupid. Did you hear me? STUPID. Nobody talks like that.

Messing with the standard word order and making the phrase longer just emphasizes the supposedly "bad" trait instead of my personhood. No, really. So quit it.

I love that whole section right there, because I completely agree. It's something that drove me crazy in my women's studies class, when the professor would go on and on about "womyn who are differently abled." Ugh.

[lilnik.livejournal.com]

I wandered over from metaquotes, in case you're wondering.

[anotheralice.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a mother of an autistic child, I think the author of this is probably at least closer to understanding her child than *most* parents I've met. But over-generalizing things that are applicable for her child is problematic. It's called a "spectrum disorder" for a reason, I'm told.

For the hypersenstivie/hyposensitive issue, my daughter has always hated light touches (clothes, someone touching her arm, kisses, etc.) but she's always loved deep pressure (bone-crushing hugs, ramming into furniture). She spent all the evening in the grocery store pressing her head against my collarbone as hard as she possibly could. That, in addition to twirling around and around in circles -- which, I also hear, is a hyposensitive issue.

And Van Gogh was believed to have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, last I heard.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I'm not autistic, but I empathize with the dislike of many light touches. I find them tickling, and I find the tickling sensation highly unpleasant. Harder touches don't tickle.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I hate the "person with autism" language, because it infects me. I catch myself doing it, much as I can have "like"s creep into my speech if someone around me is "like, yeah, so like, I was at the store and like, y'know..." I don't want to use it, but sometimes I catch myself doing it anyway, and it's just stupid and offensive. But I am a person with shortness.

I don't think it's fair though to say that other people lack the ability to hear/see/smell/etc. properly. Well, you can for me, because I clearly do. But for most people, different doesn't equal wrong - and that cuts both ways.

I'd bet you that most autistics are visually oriented. But I'm just guessing because I know that most humans are visually oriented. I'd expect it to be harder to tell an autistic person's dominant sense though, as general communication difficulties would get in the way. But still, I don't have any reason to believe autistics don't follow the normal course in these matters. Which, of course, means some of them won't be visually oriented too. It's really best to watch for what a child takes to. I was quite pleased to be able to detect that one of my nephews was sound-dominant. I picked it up rather quickly, and his mother agreed when I pointed it out. He focuses on music. He really likes things that make noise. He really listens.

Sense orientation assumptions are a problem in general. Kids who are touch-dominant tend to run into lots of problems. They live in a world where they are constantly being told not to touch things, and as tactile-dominance isn't that common, very few things are aimed toward it. Some teachers are starting to make assignments with more tactile aspects. Which is nice, although I hated that my tactile-oriented professor required we all do the tactile exercises, which were just annoying for me and didn't help me at all as it isn't my orientation. But anyhow, this sort of issue isn't unique to dealing with autism. People just ... they're people. What can you do?

I'd imagine that echolalia can have varying causes and meanings. I wouldn't want to say echolalia is just one thing... I admit, I have a personal bias here. I think I qualify as having mild echolalia, and even for me, it's not always for the same reason. I should do more research on exactly how echolalia is defined. But they put echolalia as a symptom of CAPD, and I'm fairly sure they don't mean at all the same thing by it there as they do in this description.

Ah point 10 - and please apply this to real disabilities. Stuff that is just bad with no upside, no argument to make that it's really just different. Let's start with chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Stop telling people that they're just lazy or whiny or that if they simply tried hard enough they could be normal or I shall have to put a spike through your heads to try to generate a personality improvement. Grrrr.

Anyhow, good comments. I do hope with time the information out there gets better. At least this article did have several good points and wasn't complete crap. The more adult autistics stand up and say - this is the way it really is - the more non-autistics will understand and start reacting better.

[conuly]

I don't think it's fair though to say that other people lack the ability to hear/see/smell/etc. properly. Well, you can for me, because I clearly do. But for most people, different doesn't equal wrong - and that cuts both ways.

*laughs* I really don't say that, or even think that most of the time. It's just that I get irked when I'm told that better hearing is somehow worse or disordered or... whatever.

here from Metaquotes

[phoebonica.livejournal.com]

The weather is baffling. Quantum physics is baffling. Quidditch scoring is baffling. The common cold is baffling (if predictable).

Yes! I get sick of hearing how bizarre autism is. I just think, "Well, I don't get you people either, but you don't hear me complaining." (You don't really hear me much at all. But I think it very loudly.)
Also, I wanna see the Citadel! Does it have a library? Oh, that's another thing. Very language oriented. I taught myself to read when I was two. And on the echolalia topic that someone mentioned, there was a time when I communicated entirely in quotes from books, because it was easier than making up my own sentences. So, yeah. Generalisations are bad. *knows how to use sarcasm, too*
Oh, and can I friend you? I've seen you around, and you seem cool.

Re: here from Metaquotes

[conuly]

Of course you can friend me :)

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Today, the citadel of autism, once thought an "incurable" disorder, is cracking around the foundation.

We have a citadel? Since when? I WANNA SEE!!! Does it have a cool name, like "Fortress of DOOM (and Solitude)"?

I SO want to metaquotes this. May I? :)

[conuly]

Sure thing.

some literal thoughts

[farraige.livejournal.com]

a limited vocabulary. anyone's vocabulary is, by definition, limited, unless it happens to include and make active use of (competence-performance, remember?) of every single lexical item that exists within the particular linguistic system.

come to UCL to read for your Master's, it'll be fun :))

Re: some literal thoughts

[conuly]

On the *other* hand, because we can form new words and coinages all the time, couldn't our potential vocabularies all be, by definition, unlimited and infinite?

Either way, you get a cookie for being so cool. *cookies thee*

[blackjackrocket.livejournal.com]

Where *did* this whole thing come from of autistics not having a sense of humor? Also the thing about us being incapable of lying? I've known some *extremely* devious Aspies...

And it makes me sick when I hear it *from* Aspies. Shouldn't we know better?

Oh yeah, and this:

Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch."

When people say stuff like that to me, it *pisses me off*. Why? Because they're TREATING ME LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. I'm TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR and people still do this to me!

[conuly]

When people say stuff like that to me, it *pisses me off*. Why? Because they're TREATING ME LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. I'm TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR and people still do this to me!

I'm torn. I understand and appreciate it if I'm having trouble understanding what they've been saying. Otherwise, though, I can handle complex thoughts. No, really.

Better to just take your individual child into account and tailor your language to their needs.

[l33tminion]

Well put. I keep seeing you around LJ... mind if I friend you?

[conuly]

Go ahead.

[literalgirl.livejournal.com]

"sounding like a little professor" is different from echolalia. The first involves knowing what you're talking about, and understanding the words. The other... well, I've never done that, so I'll leave somebody else to comment.

My son had an interesting manifestation of echolalia. He would say phrases that pertained to specific situations or needs, as represented in the source material, but use his echolalia to COMMUNICATE with me. Very much like the aliens in the Star Trek:TNG episode Darmok (http://stng.36el.com/st-tng/episodes/202.html) used metaphor to communicate. (Excellent episode, btw :-) ). I had much beter luck, being mom, I suppose, than anyone else, in figuring out the associations between the things he was saying and what he was trying to communicate. But it *did* work! :-)

Not sure that all autistic kids' echolalia has this kind of purpose, but Bolt's did. Especially when he was younger. By 7 or so, he'd "do" tv commercials and things he heard on the radio, but I don't think in those cases it was the same as when he was little, where there was clearly intent. And by that age, the other kids around thought it was cool how he could do that (repeat everything), so sometimes he'd do it because they asked him to.

[azurelunatic]

I just figured out something that might be an appropriate "normal" explanation of why autistic kids/people understand something, and still use someone else's words to say it.

It's a lot like going out and buying the right greeting card. Why do so many people go out and buy greeting cards? Because someone else has already said it better than they ever could, and in some situations, eloquence counts.

Of course, this makes me want to write someone who only speaks in Shakespeare verses.

[moonkitty2003.livejournal.com]

Found my way here via metaquotes and all I have to say is that who ever said that people with autism can not lie needs to meet my autistic son. He can lie. I can watch him color on the wall and then catch him in the act, and say "Josh did you just color on that wall" While he still has the crayon in his hand he will look me in the eye and say "NO! Josie (his sister) did it"

[calieber.livejournal.com]

I think NTs think that autistics have special moral abilities to "make up for" the cognitive differences.

[lilnik.livejournal.com]

Now, even if I wished to argue that all these things don't define me, I'd still be against the concept of "person-first language". It's stupid. Did you hear me? STUPID. Nobody talks like that.

Messing with the standard word order and making the phrase longer just emphasizes the supposedly "bad" trait instead of my personhood. No, really. So quit it.

I love that whole section right there, because I completely agree. It's something that drove me crazy in my women's studies class, when the professor would go on and on about "womyn who are differently abled." Ugh.

[lilnik.livejournal.com]

I wandered over from metaquotes, in case you're wondering.

[anotheralice.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a mother of an autistic child, I think the author of this is probably at least closer to understanding her child than *most* parents I've met. But over-generalizing things that are applicable for her child is problematic. It's called a "spectrum disorder" for a reason, I'm told.

For the hypersenstivie/hyposensitive issue, my daughter has always hated light touches (clothes, someone touching her arm, kisses, etc.) but she's always loved deep pressure (bone-crushing hugs, ramming into furniture). She spent all the evening in the grocery store pressing her head against my collarbone as hard as she possibly could. That, in addition to twirling around and around in circles -- which, I also hear, is a hyposensitive issue.

And Van Gogh was believed to have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, last I heard.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I'm not autistic, but I empathize with the dislike of many light touches. I find them tickling, and I find the tickling sensation highly unpleasant. Harder touches don't tickle.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I hate the "person with autism" language, because it infects me. I catch myself doing it, much as I can have "like"s creep into my speech if someone around me is "like, yeah, so like, I was at the store and like, y'know..." I don't want to use it, but sometimes I catch myself doing it anyway, and it's just stupid and offensive. But I am a person with shortness.

I don't think it's fair though to say that other people lack the ability to hear/see/smell/etc. properly. Well, you can for me, because I clearly do. But for most people, different doesn't equal wrong - and that cuts both ways.

I'd bet you that most autistics are visually oriented. But I'm just guessing because I know that most humans are visually oriented. I'd expect it to be harder to tell an autistic person's dominant sense though, as general communication difficulties would get in the way. But still, I don't have any reason to believe autistics don't follow the normal course in these matters. Which, of course, means some of them won't be visually oriented too. It's really best to watch for what a child takes to. I was quite pleased to be able to detect that one of my nephews was sound-dominant. I picked it up rather quickly, and his mother agreed when I pointed it out. He focuses on music. He really likes things that make noise. He really listens.

Sense orientation assumptions are a problem in general. Kids who are touch-dominant tend to run into lots of problems. They live in a world where they are constantly being told not to touch things, and as tactile-dominance isn't that common, very few things are aimed toward it. Some teachers are starting to make assignments with more tactile aspects. Which is nice, although I hated that my tactile-oriented professor required we all do the tactile exercises, which were just annoying for me and didn't help me at all as it isn't my orientation. But anyhow, this sort of issue isn't unique to dealing with autism. People just ... they're people. What can you do?

I'd imagine that echolalia can have varying causes and meanings. I wouldn't want to say echolalia is just one thing... I admit, I have a personal bias here. I think I qualify as having mild echolalia, and even for me, it's not always for the same reason. I should do more research on exactly how echolalia is defined. But they put echolalia as a symptom of CAPD, and I'm fairly sure they don't mean at all the same thing by it there as they do in this description.

Ah point 10 - and please apply this to real disabilities. Stuff that is just bad with no upside, no argument to make that it's really just different. Let's start with chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Stop telling people that they're just lazy or whiny or that if they simply tried hard enough they could be normal or I shall have to put a spike through your heads to try to generate a personality improvement. Grrrr.

Anyhow, good comments. I do hope with time the information out there gets better. At least this article did have several good points and wasn't complete crap. The more adult autistics stand up and say - this is the way it really is - the more non-autistics will understand and start reacting better.

[conuly]

I don't think it's fair though to say that other people lack the ability to hear/see/smell/etc. properly. Well, you can for me, because I clearly do. But for most people, different doesn't equal wrong - and that cuts both ways.

*laughs* I really don't say that, or even think that most of the time. It's just that I get irked when I'm told that better hearing is somehow worse or disordered or... whatever.

here from Metaquotes

[phoebonica.livejournal.com]

The weather is baffling. Quantum physics is baffling. Quidditch scoring is baffling. The common cold is baffling (if predictable).

Yes! I get sick of hearing how bizarre autism is. I just think, "Well, I don't get you people either, but you don't hear me complaining." (You don't really hear me much at all. But I think it very loudly.)
Also, I wanna see the Citadel! Does it have a library? Oh, that's another thing. Very language oriented. I taught myself to read when I was two. And on the echolalia topic that someone mentioned, there was a time when I communicated entirely in quotes from books, because it was easier than making up my own sentences. So, yeah. Generalisations are bad. *knows how to use sarcasm, too*
Oh, and can I friend you? I've seen you around, and you seem cool.

Re: here from Metaquotes

[conuly]

Of course you can friend me :)