*sighs* I've been thinking...

[conuly]

I really need to get diagnosed. Among other things, I'd be able to shut Michael and Aaron up from saying "oh, you're OCD, really, I know, I took Abnormal Psych..." *rolls her eyes*...

But seriously... I think it would be useful, if nothing else. I've been having some serious issues lately, more trouble concentrating, more sensory problems, and I can't get rid of that annoying stutter when I speak to people I don't know very well. I never used to stutter, this is a very recent thing (within the past 6 years), and I don't like it.

As I see it, a diagnosis would do a few things.

1. I could whip it out and not have to do stupid groupwork. I hate groupwork. I'm not good at it. I never understand the other people, and I can't hear them anyway over the sound of the rest of the groups. But, theoretically, I could claim a desperate need for accomodations and do all such groupwork alone. At any rate, it's a possibility.
2. Since that is, I think, a large factor in my impending doom in American Gov, I might actually be able to get them to drop the grade. I know other people who have done similar things, and had it stricken from their transcript. The problem with this, though, is that AS is not an excuse. Even when it is. It's just not.
3. I might also, if I'm really good, be able to come in early for my Art History final and avoid the not being able to take the test properly due to noise and bad seating. Or come in late and get in extra studying, whatever ;)
4. I'm told by Lizziey that AS is covered by SSI. Not sure if that's true or not, but worth looking into.

Problems with my plan:
1. If it's not covered by insurance, I can't do it. I already checked at the disabilities office :(
2. I have no idea if this is covered or not.
3. This would mean talking to a whole lot of people. Do I want to do that? Psychologist I don't know. Receptionist I don't know. Schoolofficialpeople I don't know. I don't know about all this.
4. Chances are, I wouldn't be able to drag Jenn along, as she'd refuse. Meanie.
5. Some people don't believe me when I tell them about AS. These are often the same people who tell me to my face that something I did was "funny" or "weird". But, of course, "nobody is normal".

Of course, those people don't see me 1. failing classes because I'm scared to attend 2. having failed classes because, though I knew the work, I hadn't the least idea how to do the work, as in how to do homework 3. not being able to wear certain clothes because I can't not notice them when I wear them 4. not being able to use perfumed detergents because they're greasy and smell weird on clothes 5. similarly, going out of my way to buy Sun and Earth dishwashing soap because dishes shouldn't be perfumed 6. hearing the TV all the way across the house 7. hearing the cd player or computer when they're plugged in but not on 8. having to call up Jenn to find out how to clean the house 9. getting lost in MIDTOWN MANHATTAN, despite the grid system and the fact that I've been there before (I spent a full term going around the library on campus, and it took me a full term before I realized that the side of the library was the same building as the front of the library) 10. (similarly, I've had classes one after the other with the same people, and they looked like different people to me)

and so on. But I still fear that I might embarass myself if they happen to be right. So again, I don't know what to do. Helphelp?

Comments

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

*sighs*

Well, for the same reason that we all have some weird, funky reason for avoiding something, I am almost positive Mommy has that regarding healthcare & insurance coverage. So I am pretty sure that relying on her to find out coverage info for you is a moot point. So that leaves you. You *can* call and follow up as a covered dependent even though you are not the primary person, no one will act like this is weird or unacceptable or anything. So that just leaves doing it, which I know is difficult... If you can hold on strongly enough to the fact that the end benefit is worth the discomfort of doing it, then I think you will have accomplished something pretty major.

I am fairly certain that if you are actually put in front of someone who can diagnose you that they will do so without a second thought. Perhaps you can ask Gale for advice on the insurance thing?

[conuly]

Well, the other thing is, from what I've read, often they ask family members to come in just to confirm that this is old behaviour, it didn't just start with finding out about AS. For that, I'd need you or mommy. Probably mommy, but you *know* I'd prefer you, getting her to do stuff can be trying.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Nice icon!

I'd be fine with that, you should know...

[conuly]

Yes, isn't it? Icon communities. They rock. Well... when you can find decent icons. There are few good *customized* ones, though I've found some decent bases which, hopefully, I can get customized soonish.

And good that you'd be fine with it. Now I just need to look into this.

Um.
What do I do now?

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

You need to know Mommy's (and hopefully yours, though you can find this out when you call) ID # for the insurance, and then you just need the insurance phone #. If neccessary, just the phone # will do and you can have them check by Mommy's name. Then you ask what kind of psychiatric coverage they have, and how you go about seeing a psychiatrist (tell them you have AS, or depression if that's easier to explain, whatever).

[conuly]

Okay. Except... some psychologists don't know enough about AS. Do I just say I need a specialist? Or do I go to a general one, and ask for a referal? Or what?

Be careful...

[gep.livejournal.com]

Greetings,

While a formal diagnosis is a valuable tool, do not succumb to the temptation to 'cry Aspie' (or whatever your dx may be.) Formal diagnosis is not an excuse; it's an explanation. Sometimes, it is useful as a formal tool to help others understand and accomodate one's issues.

If you've looked into this, you're probably already familiar with the DSM-IV multiaxial system (http://www.psyweb.com/Mdisord/DSM_IV/dsm_iv.html). AS and related chemistries are associated with many OC traits, yet many of those so afflicted do not rate a diagnosis of 'disorder'. That doesn't mean that the OC traits aren't there or aren't problematic; it just means that those traits may fall under the banner of your AS dx. This is not a Bad Thing.

Unless you're interested in looking into medication, it's questionable whether pursuing an OCD diagnosis is worthwhile. However, if you know you have OC *traits* and you want to learn how to deal more gracefully with them, speaking with a qualified mental health professional *with whom you are comfortable* is a good thing to do.

AS is a different story. You are far more likely to get 'reasonable accomodation', and far less likely to be pushed towards medication. This process will probably be far more rewarding if you go into it with an attitude like 'this is what I need to help me succeed right now, and to aid in helping me succeed in a world of mainstream NTs' than with a 'this is the way I'll always be and it's never going to change, so deal' approach. You may also find that people may be far more helpful and tolerant if you frame it in that context.

Yeah, it's chemistry, and there are some things that'll never change. But if *you* know that when [cause] happens, [effect] is likely to occur, *you* can do your part to help avoid it. Nobody else can see inside your head, and everyone has their own set of things going on in *their* head, so the responsibility falls upon you. It sucks, and it's hard, but it's the most rewarding thing you'll ever do.

Be very careful about going the disability route. Formally pursuing reasonable accomodation and/or disability is one of those things that *will* "go down on your permanent record," despite laws that suggest otherwise, and which could have adverse effects sometime in the future. I'm not saying this to be scary, but because it genuinely didn't occur to me when I had been contemplating the same thing, and someone was kind enough to point it out. In my case, I might like to go to medical school or may need a security clearance for research work someday; those are both cases where ADA does not apply and discrimination based on disability status (or anything else, really) is legal.

I have most of a psych *major* under my belt, and can state from experience: 'most of a psych major' or 'completed abnormal psych' does not a QMHP make. It should be taken with the same grain of salt as, say, medical advice from a second year Human Biology major. :grin: Besides, friends are biased in ways neither of you even realize.

Relevant pointers:

You should read Shadow Syndromes (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0553379593/002-6185392-9596830?v=glance).

For free/low cost referrals, call these guys. They aren't scary, really. You may want to have someone conference-call them with you if you are feeling weird about talking to someone you don't know. New York City Youthline (http://www.nyc.gov/html/dycd/html/yl.html)

Sending this w/o proofing as *I* need to run off to my therapy appointment (seriously!)

Hugs.
G.

Re: Be careful...

[conuly]

Nah, I'm smart enough not to use any diagnosis as an excuse, even if I really really wanna, or feel it's even merited. My philosophy is that by the time you can blame something for your problems, you can only blame yourself.

And I have no intention of going into anything medical or security related, so I should be safe on that base.

What I would like, though, is 1. no groupwork, if at all possible (I thought I'd be free of that once I hit college, but no such luck....) and 2. quieter testing accomodations. Possibly 3. an overtally into a smaller class if the other choice is to be in a very large class, but I'm not sure that's ever gonna be a choice. It's my experience that either all the classes are large (art history) or all the classes are small (latin).

I would, of course, very much love to get a certain american government class just dropped, no penalties, and it's possible... but I need to sit down more and see if that's ethical as, really, this is not a clear case where it's not my fault. In fact, it is my fault.

At any rate, going around dropping classes left and right just doesn't bode well for my sense of self worth, or my intelligence.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

*sighs*

Well, for the same reason that we all have some weird, funky reason for avoiding something, I am almost positive Mommy has that regarding healthcare & insurance coverage. So I am pretty sure that relying on her to find out coverage info for you is a moot point. So that leaves you. You *can* call and follow up as a covered dependent even though you are not the primary person, no one will act like this is weird or unacceptable or anything. So that just leaves doing it, which I know is difficult... If you can hold on strongly enough to the fact that the end benefit is worth the discomfort of doing it, then I think you will have accomplished something pretty major.

I am fairly certain that if you are actually put in front of someone who can diagnose you that they will do so without a second thought. Perhaps you can ask Gale for advice on the insurance thing?

[conuly]

Well, the other thing is, from what I've read, often they ask family members to come in just to confirm that this is old behaviour, it didn't just start with finding out about AS. For that, I'd need you or mommy. Probably mommy, but you *know* I'd prefer you, getting her to do stuff can be trying.

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Nice icon!

I'd be fine with that, you should know...

[conuly]

Yes, isn't it? Icon communities. They rock. Well... when you can find decent icons. There are few good *customized* ones, though I've found some decent bases which, hopefully, I can get customized soonish.

And good that you'd be fine with it. Now I just need to look into this.

Um.
What do I do now?

[gingembre.livejournal.com]

You need to know Mommy's (and hopefully yours, though you can find this out when you call) ID # for the insurance, and then you just need the insurance phone #. If neccessary, just the phone # will do and you can have them check by Mommy's name. Then you ask what kind of psychiatric coverage they have, and how you go about seeing a psychiatrist (tell them you have AS, or depression if that's easier to explain, whatever).

[conuly]

Okay. Except... some psychologists don't know enough about AS. Do I just say I need a specialist? Or do I go to a general one, and ask for a referal? Or what?

Be careful...

[gep.livejournal.com]

Greetings,

While a formal diagnosis is a valuable tool, do not succumb to the temptation to 'cry Aspie' (or whatever your dx may be.) Formal diagnosis is not an excuse; it's an explanation. Sometimes, it is useful as a formal tool to help others understand and accomodate one's issues.

If you've looked into this, you're probably already familiar with the DSM-IV multiaxial system (http://www.psyweb.com/Mdisord/DSM_IV/dsm_iv.html). AS and related chemistries are associated with many OC traits, yet many of those so afflicted do not rate a diagnosis of 'disorder'. That doesn't mean that the OC traits aren't there or aren't problematic; it just means that those traits may fall under the banner of your AS dx. This is not a Bad Thing.

Unless you're interested in looking into medication, it's questionable whether pursuing an OCD diagnosis is worthwhile. However, if you know you have OC *traits* and you want to learn how to deal more gracefully with them, speaking with a qualified mental health professional *with whom you are comfortable* is a good thing to do.

AS is a different story. You are far more likely to get 'reasonable accomodation', and far less likely to be pushed towards medication. This process will probably be far more rewarding if you go into it with an attitude like 'this is what I need to help me succeed right now, and to aid in helping me succeed in a world of mainstream NTs' than with a 'this is the way I'll always be and it's never going to change, so deal' approach. You may also find that people may be far more helpful and tolerant if you frame it in that context.

Yeah, it's chemistry, and there are some things that'll never change. But if *you* know that when [cause] happens, [effect] is likely to occur, *you* can do your part to help avoid it. Nobody else can see inside your head, and everyone has their own set of things going on in *their* head, so the responsibility falls upon you. It sucks, and it's hard, but it's the most rewarding thing you'll ever do.

Be very careful about going the disability route. Formally pursuing reasonable accomodation and/or disability is one of those things that *will* "go down on your permanent record," despite laws that suggest otherwise, and which could have adverse effects sometime in the future. I'm not saying this to be scary, but because it genuinely didn't occur to me when I had been contemplating the same thing, and someone was kind enough to point it out. In my case, I might like to go to medical school or may need a security clearance for research work someday; those are both cases where ADA does not apply and discrimination based on disability status (or anything else, really) is legal.

I have most of a psych *major* under my belt, and can state from experience: 'most of a psych major' or 'completed abnormal psych' does not a QMHP make. It should be taken with the same grain of salt as, say, medical advice from a second year Human Biology major. :grin: Besides, friends are biased in ways neither of you even realize.

Relevant pointers:

You should read Shadow Syndromes (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0553379593/002-6185392-9596830?v=glance).

For free/low cost referrals, call these guys. They aren't scary, really. You may want to have someone conference-call them with you if you are feeling weird about talking to someone you don't know. New York City Youthline (http://www.nyc.gov/html/dycd/html/yl.html)

Sending this w/o proofing as *I* need to run off to my therapy appointment (seriously!)

Hugs.
G.

Re: Be careful...

[conuly]

Nah, I'm smart enough not to use any diagnosis as an excuse, even if I really really wanna, or feel it's even merited. My philosophy is that by the time you can blame something for your problems, you can only blame yourself.

And I have no intention of going into anything medical or security related, so I should be safe on that base.

What I would like, though, is 1. no groupwork, if at all possible (I thought I'd be free of that once I hit college, but no such luck....) and 2. quieter testing accomodations. Possibly 3. an overtally into a smaller class if the other choice is to be in a very large class, but I'm not sure that's ever gonna be a choice. It's my experience that either all the classes are large (art history) or all the classes are small (latin).

I would, of course, very much love to get a certain american government class just dropped, no penalties, and it's possible... but I need to sit down more and see if that's ethical as, really, this is not a clear case where it's not my fault. In fact, it is my fault.

At any rate, going around dropping classes left and right just doesn't bode well for my sense of self worth, or my intelligence.

Re: Be careful...

[xreferenced.livejournal.com]

"And I have no intention of going into anything medical or security related, so I should be safe on that base."

Hmm, but what if you wanted to research Asperger's, as you have stated on Aspergia? (Or is my memory mixing up things again? It's possible)

Ok, research need not be on a medical basis, but still, you never know.

What was your major again? (Or have I asked that five times already? =:O )

Re: Be careful...

[xreferenced.livejournal.com]

"Be very careful about going the disability route. Formally pursuing reasonable accomodation and/or disability is one of those things that *will* "go down on your permanent record," despite laws that suggest otherwise, and which could have adverse effects sometime in the future."

Very very true.

"I have most of a psych *major* under my belt, and can state from experience: 'most of a psych major' or 'completed abnormal psych' does not a QMHP make."

100% agree. I'm taking Abnormal Psych right now, and no, you can't get a diagnosis right based on that. (We're almost finished and there has been NO mention of autism, let alone Asperger's, this far on the classes. Our textbook has less than a page on autism, and a single sentence on Asperger's, which is saying it's the same as autism.)

Wait GEP, are you saying you have AS and you're a psych major?

Re: Be careful...

[xreferenced.livejournal.com]

"And I have no intention of going into anything medical or security related, so I should be safe on that base."

Hmm, but what if you wanted to research Asperger's, as you have stated on Aspergia? (Or is my memory mixing up things again? It's possible)

Ok, research need not be on a medical basis, but still, you never know.

What was your major again? (Or have I asked that five times already? =:O )

Re: Be careful...

[xreferenced.livejournal.com]

"Be very careful about going the disability route. Formally pursuing reasonable accomodation and/or disability is one of those things that *will* "go down on your permanent record," despite laws that suggest otherwise, and which could have adverse effects sometime in the future."

Very very true.

"I have most of a psych *major* under my belt, and can state from experience: 'most of a psych major' or 'completed abnormal psych' does not a QMHP make."

100% agree. I'm taking Abnormal Psych right now, and no, you can't get a diagnosis right based on that. (We're almost finished and there has been NO mention of autism, let alone Asperger's, this far on the classes. Our textbook has less than a page on autism, and a single sentence on Asperger's, which is saying it's the same as autism.)

Wait GEP, are you saying you have AS and you're a psych major?