conuly | FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

It must be hard to be an Onion writer nowadays. You just can't tell anymore which headlines are satirical!

Case in point: Trump administration wants to un-fire nuclear safety workers but can’t figure out how to reach them

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

dine

it's too too sadly true!

I've been wondering, wrt that second link, why the hell they don't have employee contact info at HR? I mean, isn't it standard to provide at least a phone number, if not a personal e-mail, when you start working someplace?

From:

neotoma

It's possible that
1) they fired the HR people too
2) or they bypassed the HR people in their data scoop and therefore don't have access to all the HR files
3) or they're so dumb that they deleted people's info after firing them.

From:

crystalpyramid

Yeah I'm guessing they were fired through the Musk takeover of the big federal email system, and Musk hasn't taken over the stuff stored more locally yet.

From:

dine

oh, that sadly makes too much sense. of *course* they're bulldozing through things without any caution/concern at all (I mean, just look at the trail of wreckage left behind at agency after agency)

From:

jessie_c

Make America Glow in the dark Again.

From:

historicalmuse

Oh lord… wtaf?????

From:

conuly

Right!?

From:

historicalmuse

*headdesk*

From:

spiralsheep

I too run a high security op in which I don't know who the hell my employees are.

From:

conuly

That's for underlings.

From:

spiralsheep

You're right. They probably fired the entire personnel department for the thought crime of DEI.

From:

topaz_eyes

Shades of Reagan firing all the air traffic controllers back in the day.

From:

redbird

It's 2025, if the FBI did uncover a plot they'd have no idea of who to report it to.

From:

james

...

Have they tried putting ads in "Missed Connections" in the newspaper.

From:

conuly

In the what-paper? Who even reads that anymore?

From:

glaurung

Fun fact: in certain circumstances, you are required by law to publish an ad in the local newspaper. (The executor for my mom’s estate last year had to publish a notice for creditors to come forward, for example). These notices are the primary reason some community newspapers are still able to continue existing.

From:

elisi

Craigslist?

From:

ioplokon

I think there is a really good Simpsons joke here, but I'm not sure what it is.

From:

silveradept

It must be nearly impossible to work in satire these days, because reality keeps catching up to what was supposed to be unthinkable.

I'd guess the firing came with data purges from the system and therefore nobody had anything retained about how to find the people who they wanted to un-fire. Given the caprice involved, I'm hoping there's a lot of bonuses that get paid out to hire them back.

From:

conuly

Bonuses, raises, and better insurance.

From:

shadowkat

LOL! Yup, they've kind of surpassed the satirical abilities of just about everyone. SNL has given up on political satire. Monty Python has nothing on this. And this makes all the political satire films and television shows seem rather..tame in comparison. After this - I'm not sure anyone will bother with political satire.

Also, I'm not unconvinced that the Republicans think they are on a reality show.

From:

conuly

It's just wild.

From:

shadowkat

Oh, see this link - it's some good advice circulating from Bernice King about how to navigate this difficult time.

https://www.ebony.com/bernice-king-trump-era/

"Some Wise Advice Circulating:
1. Don’t use his name; EVER (45 will do)
2. Remember this is a regime and he’s not acting alone;
3. Do not argue with those who support him–it doesn’t work;
4. Focus on his policies, not his orange-ness and mental state;
5. Keep your message positive; they want the country to be angry and fearful because this is the soil from which their darkest policies will grow;
6. No more helpless/hopeless talk;
7. Support artists and the arts;
8. Be careful not to spread fake news. Check it;
9. Take care of yourselves; and
10. Resist!

Keep demonstrations peaceful. In the words of John Lennon, “When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you – pull your beard, flick your face – to make you fight! Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.”

When you post or talk about him, don’t assign his actions to him, assign them to “The Republican Administration,” or “The Republicans.” This will have several effects: the Republican legislators will either have to take responsibility for their association with him or stand up for what some of them don’t like; he will not get the focus of attention he craves; Republican representatives will become very concerned about their re-elections.
(Copy to paste to your Timeline – wider than sharing)

Bernice King prompts others to copy and paste it to their respective timelines to spread the word. During such chaotic times, it’s great to feel the spirit of those who have worked so hard leading us towards solution. A great reminder that while the fight may not be easy, it is worth it."

It's how I'm dealing with it. NEVER use the Republican President's name, it gives him the attention and credit he craves. He's a narcissist. It's why I don't use it - it's kind of like in Harry Potter? Not saying the name Voldemort because it gave Voldemort power? Or not saying Sauron, because it gives him power.