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conulywho was ranting at a third person all about how homeschooling is selfish and narcissistic because when you do it you've decided that you're the best and only person to educate your child and keep them from learning other points of view etc.
I've come across this argument a few times before. Factually, it's bizarre. Emotionally, it's the anti-homeschool equivalent of "why did you even have kids if you were going to send them to daycare and let strangers raise them!!!!!" These people cannot be reasoned with and don't particularly want to be. They just want to be mean.
However, I'm sure most of us are a bit more familiar with daycare and brick-and-mortar schooling than with homeschooling, and might be taken in by a more calmly phrased variation on the first person's argument, so I'm making this post for your edification. Most of this is all pretty obvious if you sit down and think about it.
1. First things first, homeschooling is not an all-or-nothing proposition. It's common to homeschool for some years and not others, or to homeschool some children but not others, or both. It's very common for children to go to school for high school. And in areas that allow dual enrollment a great many children take classes at the public school while still being homeschooled.
2. Even while you're homeschooling, and even without dual enrollment, your child might take classes taught by somebody other than you. They might take "afterschool" programs, homeschool co-op classes, or online classes. Or they might have a private or semi-private tutor. These classes might be arranged to be primarily for socialization, or to offer enrichment, or to teach subjects which parents aren't comfortable handling themselves. Outside classes are extremely common.
Points one and two already show that not every homeschooler gets into it because they really hate the idea of somebody else teaching their precious babies. Actually, I've heard many reasons for homeschooling, including:
A. I want to include religion in the school day.
B. I want to make all my teaching connected to my religion!
C. There was too much religion in my local school.
D. My local school isn't very good academically.
E. My local school is dangerous or has a bullying problem.
F. I don't trust the public schools all that much.
G. My local school is adequate, but it wasn't a good fit for my child.
H. My child is gifted, and there wasn't enough differentiation.
I. My child has a disability, and there wasn't enough support.
J. My child is 2E, and there wasn't enough differentiation OR support.
K. My child would like to spend a lot of time focusing on a special interest (music, dance, herpetology), and it was either homeschool or not have a social life.
L. We live very far away from our school and honestly the commute was killing us.
M. We like to school in our PJs.
N. We move a lot, and I'd like my child's education to be more consistent.
O. My child asked to homeschool for reasons.
P. I specifically don't like the way our schools handle a particular issue.
Q. I would like all my children to graduate college by the time they're 19.
R. I believe in allowing my children a great deal of academic freedom ("unschooling").
S. I believe in allowing my children infinite academic freedom ("radical unschooling").
T. I want my child to have more free time to play with friends.
U. We have an illness/allergy situation and my child is safer at home.
V. One of us is probably not going to be around in five years, and while I still can I'd like to maximize our time together.
W. We have specific dietary rules my child has to follow, and during the earlier years it's easier to do that this way.
X. I'd like to do more trips and experiential learning than the schools generally provide, without sacrificing free time in the afternoons and weekends.
Now, I'm not going to claim that all these reasons are equal. However, "I don't think anybody can ever teach my child better than I can" is conspicuously not on the list. You sometimes see a variant of this - "I believe I'm the best teacher for the early years" - but even then....
3. Then we have two variations on the socialization argument. Either homeschool kids can't socialize, or they'll only socialize with people like them. Now, socialization is a real issue, and the careful homeschooling family makes sure to provide plenty of time with peers, ideally in both structured and unstructured activities.
However, it's worth noting that students in a classroom setting may not get much socialization time either if they don't have recess. I was told as a child, repeatedly, that my class was not in school to socialize but to learn. Careful questioning suggests that many parents and teachers are still rattling this off to students today... until the homeschool issue comes up, when classrooms are suddenly the only way to socialize.
And when socialization does happen in schools, there's no guarantee that those students are being exposed to a variety of views and experiences. The USA has a very segregated school system. If you live in a small town where everybody is at or just above the median income and they all go to one of three different churches and vote Republican - well, that's who your classmates are. They'll all pray the same way you do, and their parents will vote the same way yours do, and so on. I don't know how to fix this.
Are there problems with homeschooling? Definitely. However, that just doesn't excuse making ridiculous strawmen.
I've come across this argument a few times before. Factually, it's bizarre. Emotionally, it's the anti-homeschool equivalent of "why did you even have kids if you were going to send them to daycare and let strangers raise them!!!!!" These people cannot be reasoned with and don't particularly want to be. They just want to be mean.
However, I'm sure most of us are a bit more familiar with daycare and brick-and-mortar schooling than with homeschooling, and might be taken in by a more calmly phrased variation on the first person's argument, so I'm making this post for your edification. Most of this is all pretty obvious if you sit down and think about it.
1. First things first, homeschooling is not an all-or-nothing proposition. It's common to homeschool for some years and not others, or to homeschool some children but not others, or both. It's very common for children to go to school for high school. And in areas that allow dual enrollment a great many children take classes at the public school while still being homeschooled.
2. Even while you're homeschooling, and even without dual enrollment, your child might take classes taught by somebody other than you. They might take "afterschool" programs, homeschool co-op classes, or online classes. Or they might have a private or semi-private tutor. These classes might be arranged to be primarily for socialization, or to offer enrichment, or to teach subjects which parents aren't comfortable handling themselves. Outside classes are extremely common.
Points one and two already show that not every homeschooler gets into it because they really hate the idea of somebody else teaching their precious babies. Actually, I've heard many reasons for homeschooling, including:
A. I want to include religion in the school day.
B. I want to make all my teaching connected to my religion!
C. There was too much religion in my local school.
D. My local school isn't very good academically.
E. My local school is dangerous or has a bullying problem.
F. I don't trust the public schools all that much.
G. My local school is adequate, but it wasn't a good fit for my child.
H. My child is gifted, and there wasn't enough differentiation.
I. My child has a disability, and there wasn't enough support.
J. My child is 2E, and there wasn't enough differentiation OR support.
K. My child would like to spend a lot of time focusing on a special interest (music, dance, herpetology), and it was either homeschool or not have a social life.
L. We live very far away from our school and honestly the commute was killing us.
M. We like to school in our PJs.
N. We move a lot, and I'd like my child's education to be more consistent.
O. My child asked to homeschool for reasons.
P. I specifically don't like the way our schools handle a particular issue.
Q. I would like all my children to graduate college by the time they're 19.
R. I believe in allowing my children a great deal of academic freedom ("unschooling").
S. I believe in allowing my children infinite academic freedom ("radical unschooling").
T. I want my child to have more free time to play with friends.
U. We have an illness/allergy situation and my child is safer at home.
V. One of us is probably not going to be around in five years, and while I still can I'd like to maximize our time together.
W. We have specific dietary rules my child has to follow, and during the earlier years it's easier to do that this way.
X. I'd like to do more trips and experiential learning than the schools generally provide, without sacrificing free time in the afternoons and weekends.
Now, I'm not going to claim that all these reasons are equal. However, "I don't think anybody can ever teach my child better than I can" is conspicuously not on the list. You sometimes see a variant of this - "I believe I'm the best teacher for the early years" - but even then....
3. Then we have two variations on the socialization argument. Either homeschool kids can't socialize, or they'll only socialize with people like them. Now, socialization is a real issue, and the careful homeschooling family makes sure to provide plenty of time with peers, ideally in both structured and unstructured activities.
However, it's worth noting that students in a classroom setting may not get much socialization time either if they don't have recess. I was told as a child, repeatedly, that my class was not in school to socialize but to learn. Careful questioning suggests that many parents and teachers are still rattling this off to students today... until the homeschool issue comes up, when classrooms are suddenly the only way to socialize.
And when socialization does happen in schools, there's no guarantee that those students are being exposed to a variety of views and experiences. The USA has a very segregated school system. If you live in a small town where everybody is at or just above the median income and they all go to one of three different churches and vote Republican - well, that's who your classmates are. They'll all pray the same way you do, and their parents will vote the same way yours do, and so on. I don't know how to fix this.
Are there problems with homeschooling? Definitely. However, that just doesn't excuse making ridiculous strawmen.
