At least it's sunny

Cold, but sunny.

Despite the cheeriness of my last post, I wish to be clear that I'm extremely "meh" about Christmas this year, and that this "meh" has taken over everything else I might want to do, like cooking dinner.

Is it the darkness of winter? Is it the fact that my mother is dead? Is it just one of those things?

Well, it's sure something all right!

I'd be more concerned about this, but mostly... meh. Very meh.

I'm really hoping I feel better by my birthday, anyway. I like my birthday. Maybe I should go wild and put 40 candles on the cake. I did that to my mother when she turned 50. Lit up the whole kitchen and nearly burned down the house. I swore at the time, never again, but I'm not turning 50 just yet, am I? 40 isn't enough to burn down the house, I bet.

God damn it

I went to the store and forgot to get peanuts* for the squirrels.

* Peanuts and sunflower seeds, while inexpensive, are nutritionally incomplete and, therefore, should be used for supplemental nutrition only, so these are going to be carefully rationed